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Early morning disturbances

iamdan
iamdan Posts: 2,421
in Not Sports Related
Woken up twice in consecutive early hours of the mornings by the neighbours having a good old rump.

any advice? Do I knock and explain I can hear them?
«13

Comments

  • Addickted
    Addickted Posts: 19,456
    iamdan said:
    Woken up twice in consecutive early hours of the mornings by the neighbours having a good old rump.

    any advice? Do I knock one out or ask if I can join them?

  • soapy_jones
    soapy_jones Posts: 21,371
    Just have a wank.
  • RodneyCharltonTrotta
    RodneyCharltonTrotta Posts: 14,832
    iamdan said:
    Woken up twice in consecutive early hours of the mornings by the neighbours having a good old rump.

    any advice? Do I knock one out and explain I can hear them?
    I would
  • Macronate
    Macronate Posts: 12,902
    iamdan said:
    Woken up twice in consecutive early hours of the mornings by the neighbours having a good old rump.

    any advice? Do I knock and explain I can hear them?
    If this does happen, can you let us know, word for word how that conversation goes. 
  • palarsehater
    palarsehater Posts: 12,300
    last week my neighbour thought it was acceptable to use a fucking circular saw at 11.35 at night 
  • Lincsaddick
    Lincsaddick Posts: 32,376
    get into their fridge and slip some bromide into the milk ((:>)
  • 3blokes
    3blokes Posts: 4,610
    I would suggest if it happens tonight, you should start singing Onward Christian Soldiers as loudly as you can. Keep it at an irregular beat so they can’t bang along to it because that is not what you’re hoping to achieve here. Give it a go and if the sound of you singing that at full pelt doesn’t kill the mood for them, then try How Much Is That Doggy In The Window?
    Good luck  :)

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  • EastStand
    EastStand Posts: 4,109
    Play Celine Dion's greatest hits full blast and pop off out for an early morning stroll. 
  • Mendonca In Asdas
    Mendonca In Asdas Posts: 22,656
    Play 'Into the valley' at full blast.
  • charltonkeston
    charltonkeston Posts: 7,371
    One of my neighbours has had work going on in his back garden for the last 2 1/2 months 8 hours a day 6 days a week, with diggers, chainsaw, disc cutters, drills and hammers. Completely landscaping the rear garden and dug out for a swimming pool, next coming is work on the house with his planning for 3 extensions. It was a very quiet neighbourhood until he bought the house but it probably will be again in a few years.
  • addick05
    addick05 Posts: 2,348
    iamdan said:
    Woken up twice in consecutive early hours of the mornings by the neighbours having a good old rump.

    any advice? Do I knock and explain I can hear them?

    Having a rump on a 'school night' before work? Shocking.
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    palarsehater said:
    last week my neighbour thought it was acceptable to use a fucking circular saw at 11.35 at night 
    What did you expect when you moved in next door to Dennis Nielsen? 
  • Greenie Junior
    Greenie Junior Posts: 3,881
    Are you my neighbour? 
  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,701
    iamdan said:
    Woken up twice in consecutive early hours of the mornings by the neighbours having a good old rump.

    any advice? Do I knock and explain I can hear them?
    Counteract it by having a good old dump.
  • Wheresmeticket
    Wheresmeticket Posts: 17,304
    iamdan said:
    Woken up twice in consecutive early hours of the mornings by the neighbours having a good old rump.

    any advice? Do I knock and explain I can hear them?
    Tell Boris you don't want to have to call the police again.
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    guinnessaddick said:
    iamdan said:
    Woken up twice in consecutive early hours of the mornings by the neighbours having a good old rump.

    any advice? Do I knock and explain I can hear them?
    Counteract it by having a good old dump on their doorstep. 


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  • Wheresmeticket
    Wheresmeticket Posts: 17,304
    iamdan said:
    Woken up twice in consecutive early hours of the mornings by the neighbours having a good old rump.

    any advice? Do I knock on the window and explain I can't hear them clearly enough ?

  • leftbehind
    leftbehind Posts: 8,581
    Ask for a threesome?
  • Covered End
    Covered End Posts: 52,040
    You could have a wank in the corner, a la Bradley Dack.

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2948048/Former-professional-footballer-raped-woman-22-met-nightclub-consensual-sex-teammate.html

    Alternatively, you could stand in the corner and film it on your mobile phone a la Karlan Grant.

    https://metro.co.uk/2018/06/14/three-british-footballers-arrested-raping-teenager-ibiza-7630575/

    Allegedly.
  • aliwibble
    aliwibble Posts: 26,451
    Change your Wifi router name to WeCanHearYouShagging?
  • mistrollingin
    mistrollingin Posts: 3,868
    Wait until she gets going, then ring her doorbell and shout through the letterbox "Avon Calling!"
  • Pringle
    Pringle Posts: 464
    One time I thought I could hear my neighbours shagging...turned out it was a pigeon on the roof. 
  • Addick Addict
    Addick Addict Posts: 39,856
    palarsehater said:
    last week my neighbour thought it was acceptable to use a fucking circular saw at 11.35 at night 
    My sincere apologies. From now on, I promise to finish by 10.00 and that all participants will be as silent as lambs. Please also let me know if you would like to join in at any point. 

    Hannibal
  • Greenie
    Greenie Posts: 9,172
    Used to have a flat in Hither Green with a couple of mates, Goodbye Horse was one of the chaps, the flat below (it was one of the converted houses in Leahust road) was occupied by a couple and they were either fighting or fucking.
    The insulation was crap and you could hear everything when they were both horizontal jogging, so we used to wait for the build up and right on the glory stroke we banged on the floor yelling stuff like ‘OH BABY YESSS’ (her money shout) and GET INNNN!  And er other stuff!
    His missus told him to have a word with us, in fairness he did, but we ignored him and carried on......
  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,701
    edited August 2019
    mistrollingin said:
    Wait until she gets going, then ring her doorbell and shout through the letterbox "Avon Calling!"
    Too late, Max Factor. That’s why she was making the noise.

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