I was at my girlfriend's house last night and we started kissing and cuddling. Then as I lay on the bed, she started stripping. At the sight of her stunning body, I almost came in my pants. A personal best for me seeing as they were 20 yards away on the landing!
I know the old ones are the best, but repeating it minutes after posting the first one is stretching it a bit far.
Please accept my humble apologies for an accidental double post last week.
I am so sorry the content and repetition so upset you that you felt you had to post on the jokes thread about the terrible experience that I forced you to endure.
If there is any way I can repair the damage done, just let me know.
I see you LOL'd GNelsons excellent response, so perhaps it wasn't all bad news?
I know the old ones are the best, but repeating it minutes after posting the first one is stretching it a bit far.
Please accept my humble apologies for an accidental double post last week.
I am so sorry the content and repetition so upset you that you felt you had to post on the jokes thread about the terrible experience that I forced you to endure.
If there is any way I can repair the damage done, just let me know.
I see you LOL'd GNelsons excellent response, so perhaps it wasn't all bad news?
This post is the funniest thing you have posted on here
So glad to be of assistance to you and your sense of humour.
I thought this one last month was funnier, though. "I went out with a parachutist with IBS. But she shat on me from a great height."
Can't understand no thanks.
Like when I was sent to prison for a white collar crime. I murdered a vicar.
I was going to start a Village People tribute band, but didn't think I could pull the builder off, so I donned a cowboy hat and eased myself into a pair of chaps.
I was going to start a Village People tribute band, but didn't think I could pull the builder off, so I donned a cowboy hat and eased myself into a pair of chaps.
Mathew Kelly introduces a young man onto " Stars In Their Eyes" and says " Ok Simon you have an incredible story to tell haven't you" "Yes" he says. "My Uncle and I were travelling down the M6 and were involved in an horrific crash resulting in me losing both legs and my Uncle being killed outright" "In the Hospital the Surgeon managed to replace my legs with my Uncles and here I am today a new man" " Isn't that incredible" says Mathew. " And today young man you are going to be"? "Today Mathew I am going to be Simon and Half Uncle!!
Comments
They're not sick. I just they could do a whole lot fucking better at their job!
We won 5-4 on aggregate.
"What do they look like?"
"Hands."
"What do they look like?"
"Hands."
I love being a music teacher.
I asked, "Who's this?"
My Granddad said, "He's my hip replacement."
The results speak for themselves.
I am so sorry the content and repetition so upset you that you felt you had to post on the jokes thread about the terrible experience that I forced you to endure.
If there is any way I can repair the damage done, just let me know.
I see you LOL'd GNelsons excellent response, so perhaps it wasn't all bad news?
I thought this one last month was funnier, though.
"I went out with a parachutist with IBS.
But she shat on me from a great height."
Can't understand no thanks.
Like when I was sent to prison for a white collar crime.
I murdered a vicar.
He must be a part of some extreme mist group.
I was going to start a Village People tribute band, but didn't think I could pull the builder off, so I donned a cowboy hat and eased myself into a pair of chaps.
Classic Barry Cryer!
My boss asked “what companies?“
"Gas, water and electricity." I replied.
Sure, there's lots of fish in the ocean, but until I catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod.
A brunette with bad breath