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White lies/saying things that people want to hear

13

Comments

  • Uboat
    Uboat Posts: 12,195
    'Steve? Well Steve's just......Steve.'

    = 'Steve is a wanker'

    My boss uses this quite frequently.
    (I'm not called Steve BTW)
  • Uboat
    Uboat Posts: 12,195
    Another work one:

    'He really is a master of the detail.'

    = 'Boring bastard'
  • Uboat
    Uboat Posts: 12,195
    'Satisfactory' = 'Not good enough'
  • T_C_E
    T_C_E Posts: 16,420
    Another work one...... There's plenty of overtime...... Means they don't employ enough people to do the job within eight hours.
  • addick1965
    addick1965 Posts: 5,092
    They have been "creative"=Lies,lies and more lies
  • cafcfan
    cafcfan Posts: 11,198
    He's decided to stay and fight for his place in the first team.
    = He couldn't find another bunch of mugs to pay him anywhere near the same money.
  • Arsenetatters
    Arsenetatters Posts: 5,976
    "My door is always open" (I'm just never behind it)

    "I hear what you're saying" (but I'm not going to take any friggin notice)
  • Uboat
    Uboat Posts: 12,195
    Football one.

    'I think he'll be disappointed when he sees the replay'.

    = 'That was the most blatant and embarrassing piece of play acting ever' or ' He has clearly just attempted to end a fellow professional's life'
  • Miserableoldgit
    Miserableoldgit Posts: 21,458
    Arsenetatters said:

    Man having one of those embarrassing can't keep it up moments. Woman "it doesn't matter".

    Yes it does, I was looking forward to a right old rogering.

    Just noticed the time of your message.........

    ☺
  • Miserableoldgit
    Miserableoldgit Posts: 21,458
    cafcfan said:

    I'm warming to this thread now.

    Said: "Kids, they grow up so quickly these days, don't they?".

    Meant: "Your 14 year old daughter is dressing like a slapper."

    Suprised @NLA hasn't joined in.
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  • Stig
    Stig Posts: 29,026
    "The club is investigating the matter as it is something we take seriously".

    I wonder how that investigation's going then :wink:
  • Redskin
    Redskin Posts: 3,113
    It's not you, it's me...

    You're insane and you frighten me. I'm off...
  • T_C_E
    T_C_E Posts: 16,420
    Stig said:

    "The club is investigating the matter as it is something we take seriously".

    I wonder how that investigation's going then :wink:

    As no one has come forward and admitted it, they've closed the investigation. ;)
  • Fortune 82nd Minute
    Fortune 82nd Minute Posts: 8,338
    This won't hurt. Usually said by a doctor or nurse.

    Cue excruciating pain.
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    edited March 2016
    @Arsenetatters so far on this thread you have mentioned

    Dying painfully
    Rotating heads
    Blood splattering everywhere
    Rex the dog sinking his teeth in
    Drinking
    Wanting to be Rogered
    And your door(s) always being open.

    I'm very concerned for your welfare (:


  • Arsenetatters
    Arsenetatters Posts: 5,976
    ricky_otto said:

    @Arsenetatters so far on this thread you have mentioned

    Dying painfully
    Rotating heads
    Blood splattering everywhere
    Rex the dog sinking his teeth in
    Drinking
    Wanting to be Rogered
    And your door(s) always being open.

    I'm very concerned for your welfare (:


    Thanks for you concern @ricky_otto. I guess my life outside Charlton needs reviewing......!
  • MartinCAFC
    MartinCAFC Posts: 3,219
    When the train station departure board says your train is 'Delayed'.

    No it isn't it's bloody cancelled.
  • Valiantphil
    Valiantphil Posts: 6,410
    Man breaks into Heathrow (airside) and locks himself in the cockpit of a BA plane.

    Heathrow spokesman says " safety and security are our primary concern"

    What he means is............

    That's very embarrassing for us, especially when we ask all those passengers to strip half-naked to go through a metal detector after putting their bottle of water and aftershave in the bin first.
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    The lie = We want a room in our house converted into a utility room and shower room and would like you to supply labour and all the materials; and we'll pay you 500 Euros a week until the bill is settled.

    The truth = We want a room in our house converted into a utility room and shower room and would like you to supply labour and all the materials; and we'll pay you a bit of money here and there as and when we can afford it as something's gone wrong with our pentions in the UK. Didn't stop you gong Ile de Re for a week though did it.
  • LouisMend
    LouisMend Posts: 5,447
    We've started using "he's a bit of a prickly character" at work for a guy who is an out and out prick.

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  • ForeverAddickted
    ForeverAddickted Posts: 94,319
    LouisMend said:

    We've started using "he's a bit of a prickly character" at work for a guy who is an out and out prick.

    I suppose its one phrase that could be used to describe Roland...
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    edited March 2016
    Wife - take it easy today, just going shopping and will be a few hours, no need to do anything, put your feet up and enjoy the peace and quiet.

    What she really means is - if you've not hoovered and unloaded the dishwasher by the time I get in I'm going to huff and puff, walk around with a face like a smacked arse for 2 hours and crash plates and cups down on the kitchen work tops.
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    edited March 2016
    Arsenetatters said:

    ricky_otto said:

    @Arsenetatters so far on this thread you have mentioned

    Dying painfully
    Rotating heads
    Blood splattering everywhere
    Rex the dog sinking his teeth in
    Drinking
    Wanting to be Rogered
    And your door(s) always being open.

    I'm very concerned for your welfare (:


    Thanks for you concern @ricky_otto. I guess my life outside Charlton needs reviewing......!
    On reflection I think you could be right - might make an interesting video though.
  • cafcdave123
    cafcdave123 Posts: 11,491
    99% of the time the 'LOL' button is used on this site
  • Dazzler21
    Dazzler21 Posts: 51,344
    Uboat said:

    'Steve? Well Steve's just......Steve.'

    = 'Steve is a wanker'

    My boss uses this quite frequently.
    (I'm not called Steve BTW)

    Ok Stephen
  • lolwray
    lolwray Posts: 4,902
    when someone says those 3 little "i love you" words and you feel obliged to return the compliment


  • cafcdave123
    cafcdave123 Posts: 11,491
    lolwray said:

    when someone says those 3 little "i love you" words and you feel obliged to return the compliment


    my kids are the same mate, attention whores!
  • red_murph
    red_murph Posts: 2,460
    Quite relevant today after a wedding invite..

    "We are not expecting any gifts from you"

    However....
  • Arsenetatters
    Arsenetatters Posts: 5,976
    ricky_otto said:

    Wife - take it easy today, just going shopping and will be a few hours, no need to do anything, put your feet up and enjoy the peace and quiet.

    What she really means is - if you've not hoovered and unloaded the dishwasher by the time I get in I'm going to huff and puff, walk around with a face like a smacked arse for 2 hours and crash plates and cups down on the kitchen work tops.

    A similar one: Mr Tatters and I go out to work. I have a good day (no sick animals, no mucking out to be done, animals all fed and watered) and manage to get home about lunchtime. Enjoy an afternoon nap, lounging around, logging into CL. Then when Mr Tatters arrives home I say "I've only just got in too. Can you go and get a takeaway, I'm too tired to cook."
  • ForeverAddickted
    ForeverAddickted Posts: 94,319
    Arsenetatters said:

    ricky_otto said:

    Wife - take it easy today, just going shopping and will be a few hours, no need to do anything, put your feet up and enjoy the peace and quiet.

    What she really means is - if you've not hoovered and unloaded the dishwasher by the time I get in I'm going to huff and puff, walk around with a face like a smacked arse for 2 hours and crash plates and cups down on the kitchen work tops.

    A similar one: Mr Tatters and I go out to work. I have a good day (no sick animals, no mucking out to be done, animals all fed and watered) and manage to get home about lunchtime. Enjoy an afternoon nap, lounging around, logging into CL. Then when Mr Tatters arrives home I say "I've only just got in too. Can you go and get a takeaway, I'm too tired to cook."
    I guess its to teach him to give you a better rogering lol!

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