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White lies/saying things that people want to hear

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  • edited March 2016

    In this Pinocchio era I've been having a think about lies. Here's an example that makes me smile (black humour I know):

    Often reported in the news: "He died peacefully". OK it is possible to die peacefully but they are hardly going to report "He died painfully, his head rotating as he spewed blood around the room".

    Another death example - words said at a funeral. "she never had a bad word to say about anybody", "he was loved by all". I guess this is what people want to hear rather than "she never had a bad word about anyone except Mr XXXX, who she thought was a complete bastard", "he was loved by his Mum but others thought he was a bit of a pain"

    Getting away from death, there are other examples. The classic "how are you?" reply "fine".

    Any other examples?

    So true, the last one I actually thought about yesterday because I always reply "not bad" I replied "not bad" yesterday several times despite having just had a tooth out, a cold, straining a back muscle Thursday and doing knee ligaments only 2 weeks ago.
    Ha ha someone had to take me to one side a few years back and patiently explain that when a person asks me how I am, they actually don't want to know all about my cold :-)

  • Nothing worse than saying to someone, how are you, and they bore you forever telling you all their ailments. I do not want to know, I am just being polite, we all have something wrong with us, (when you are 70, you do), please, I am not interested
  • Awwww puppy!!!! Unless your son in law is Jewish and has something inherently against Shepherds, I see no problem. Kind of thing that should make him a "former future son in law" if you ask me.
  • ross1 said:

    Nothing worse than saying to someone, how are you, and they bore you forever telling you all their ailments. I do not want to know, I am just being polite, we all have something wrong with us, (when you are 70, you do), please, I am not interested

    You've spent time with me, haven't you :-)
    (Btw my cold's better, I think I'm FINALLY on the mend, thank goodness...)

  • Stig said:


    Still on the same lines, "It's political correctness* gone made", generally translates as either "I'm too thick to see the bigger picture" or "I'm too selfish to give a toss".

    *Feel free to substitute political correctness with health and safety or other like phrases.

    Also, "thanks Brussels!!!"
  • T.C.E said:

    My future son in law saying "he loves our dogs" then telling our daughter. JJ frightens the **** out of him. What's not to love? Lolimage

    It's OK. He/she doesn't bite.

    This is stuff I want to hear.
    I never believe it though.
  • seth plum said:

    T.C.E said:

    My future son in law saying "he loves our dogs" then telling our daughter. JJ frightens the **** out of him. What's not to love? Lolimage

    It's OK. He/she doesn't bite.

    This is stuff I want to hear.
    I never believe it though.
    What's the point of a dog that doesn't bite?
  • Brentford 1-2 Charlton... thank you to the World Media / CAFC / CharltonLife for making my Saturday evening with a lovely little white lie
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  • SDAddick said:

    I'm not a racist but...

    Along the same lines "I'm not politically correct....[insert something racists or homophobic]."


    SDAddick said:

    Awwww puppy!!!! Unless your son in law is Jewish and has something inherently against Shepherds, I see no problem. Kind of thing that should make him a "former future son in law" if you ask me.

  • Sorry I was on the other line when you called.

    I'd love to but I have a meeting that evening that I can't get out of.

    We'll see.

    I'd be more than happy to but I'm a little short this month.
  • seth plum said:

    T.C.E said:

    My future son in law saying "he loves our dogs" then telling our daughter. JJ frightens the **** out of him. What's not to love? Lolimage

    It's OK. He/she doesn't bite.

    This is stuff I want to hear.
    I never believe it though.
    I love this, I know @TCE and the way he treats his dogs is magnificent.

    When them dogs bite they bite. They do not dick around nipping people, biting is what they do and I'm convinced if one wanted to it could comfortably eat a human being. Rottweilers are good at biting too but whilst they are unbelievably strong I don't think they have the nouse or intelligence of GSD's so could be outwitted. German sheps are often too clever for their own good!
  • I'm not being rude but....
  • When someone says " no offence but" you know they will come out with something offensive.
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  • The players gave there all - not they'd isn't they were pony.

    Your spelling has really improved
    I doing my best. I'm only 3 ffs.
  • Carter said:

    seth plum said:

    T.C.E said:

    My future son in law saying "he loves our dogs" then telling our daughter. JJ frightens the **** out of him. What's not to love? Lolimage

    It's OK. He/she doesn't bite.

    This is stuff I want to hear.
    I never believe it though.
    I love this, I know @TCE and the way he treats his dogs is magnificent.

    When them dogs bite they bite. They do not dick around nipping people, biting is what they do and I'm convinced if one wanted to it could comfortably eat a human being. Rottweilers are good at biting too but whilst they are unbelievably strong I don't think they have the nouse or intelligence of GSD's so could be outwitted. German sheps are often too clever for their own good!
    Your not wrong Mr Carter, unfortunately us handlers are not always that smart. We don't recognise the signs and we put our hands in the way of the sharp end when separating two scrapping dogs. All dogs bite, I prefer to teach my mine when its appropriate (don't always work though) ;)
  • Not being funny but
  • The Met Police favourite 'lessons will be learned'.
  • thenewbie said:

    "It's the taking part that counts''

    No it bloody isn't, no-one told Usain Bolt or whatever 'well you just set a new all time world record but it was the taking part that was important.' do they? Only the losers get told that.

    and we should know ;-)
  • Man having one of those embarrassing can't keep it up moments. Woman "it doesn't matter".

    Yes it does, I was looking forward to a right old rogering.

    Ha ha and I bet he was quite looking forward to providing you with one ;-)
    As Wellington once remarked " There's nothing worse on God's Earth than a misfiring cannon." :-)


  • In this Pinocchio era I've been having a think about lies. Here's an example that makes me smile (black humour I know):

    Often reported in the news: "He died peacefully". OK it is possible to die peacefully but they are hardly going to report "He died painfully, his head rotating as he spewed blood around the room".

    Another death example - words said at a funeral. "she never had a bad word to say about anybody", "he was loved by all". I guess this is what people want to hear rather than "she never had a bad word about anyone except Mr XXXX, who she thought was a complete bastard", "he was loved by his Mum but others thought he was a bit of a pain"

    Getting away from death, there are other examples. The classic "how are you?" reply "fine".

    Any other examples?

    Obituaries are full of double meaning
    He didn't suffer fools gladly means he was rude and obnoxious.

    Convivial at any hours means he was a alcoholic.

    BBC stalwart means they knew all about the sexual exploitation going on, but rather disgracefully kept quiet.
  • T.C.E said:

    Carter said:

    seth plum said:

    T.C.E said:

    My future son in law saying "he loves our dogs" then telling our daughter. JJ frightens the **** out of him. What's not to love? Lolimage

    It's OK. He/she doesn't bite.

    This is stuff I want to hear.
    I never believe it though.
    I love this, I know @TCE and the way he treats his dogs is magnificent.

    When them dogs bite they bite. They do not dick around nipping people, biting is what they do and I'm convinced if one wanted to it could comfortably eat a human being. Rottweilers are good at biting too but whilst they are unbelievably strong I don't think they have the nouse or intelligence of GSD's so could be outwitted. German sheps are often too clever for their own good!
    Your not wrong Mr Carter, unfortunately us handlers are not always that smart. We don't recognise the signs and we put our hands in the way of the sharp end when separating two scrapping dogs. All dogs bite, I prefer to teach my mine when its appropriate (don't always work though) ;)
    Red hand gang Ray?
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