White lies/saying things that people want to hear
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Ha ha someone had to take me to one side a few years back and patiently explain that when a person asks me how I am, they actually don't want to know all about my cold :-)C_Jensens_Love_Child said:
So true, the last one I actually thought about yesterday because I always reply "not bad" I replied "not bad" yesterday several times despite having just had a tooth out, a cold, straining a back muscle Thursday and doing knee ligaments only 2 weeks ago.Arsenetatters said:In this Pinocchio era I've been having a think about lies. Here's an example that makes me smile (black humour I know):
Often reported in the news: "He died peacefully". OK it is possible to die peacefully but they are hardly going to report "He died painfully, his head rotating as he spewed blood around the room".
Another death example - words said at a funeral. "she never had a bad word to say about anybody", "he was loved by all". I guess this is what people want to hear rather than "she never had a bad word about anyone except Mr XXXX, who she thought was a complete bastard", "he was loved by his Mum but others thought he was a bit of a pain"
Getting away from death, there are other examples. The classic "how are you?" reply "fine".
Any other examples?
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Nothing worse than saying to someone, how are you, and they bore you forever telling you all their ailments. I do not want to know, I am just being polite, we all have something wrong with us, (when you are 70, you do), please, I am not interested0
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My future son in law saying "he loves our dogs" then telling our daughter. JJ frightens the **** out of him. What's not to love? Lol
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Awwww puppy!!!! Unless your son in law is Jewish and has something inherently against Shepherds, I see no problem. Kind of thing that should make him a "former future son in law" if you ask me.2
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You've spent time with me, haven't you :-)ross1 said:Nothing worse than saying to someone, how are you, and they bore you forever telling you all their ailments. I do not want to know, I am just being polite, we all have something wrong with us, (when you are 70, you do), please, I am not interested
(Btw my cold's better, I think I'm FINALLY on the mend, thank goodness...)
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Still on the same lines, "It's political correctness* gone made", generally translates as either "I'm too thick to see the bigger picture" or "I'm too selfish to give a toss".SDAddick said:
Along the same lines "I'm not politically correct....[insert something racists or homophobic]."Algarveaddick said:I'm not a racist but...
At my last job I got pretty good at the compliment sandwich. "He's a great guy, but..." or "I love him like a brother but..." I'm not usually disingenuous, I just worked with people who were very reactionary and thus had to put things in very nice terms.
*Feel free to substitute political correctness with health and safety or other like phrases.9 -
Also, "thanks Brussels!!!"Stig said:
Still on the same lines, "It's political correctness* gone made", generally translates as either "I'm too thick to see the bigger picture" or "I'm too selfish to give a toss".
*Feel free to substitute political correctness with health and safety or other like phrases.0 -
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Brentford 1-2 Charlton... thank you to the World Media / CAFC / CharltonLife for making my Saturday evening with a lovely little white lie3
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SDAddick said:
Along the same lines "I'm not politically correct....[insert something racists or homophobic]."Algarveaddick said:I'm not a racist but...
SDAddick said:Awwww puppy!!!! Unless your son in law is Jewish and has something inherently against Shepherds, I see no problem. Kind of thing that should make him a "former future son in law" if you ask me.
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Sorry I was on the other line when you called.
I'd love to but I have a meeting that evening that I can't get out of.
We'll see.
I'd be more than happy to but I'm a little short this month.
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"With every appointment we've improved"..................6
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I love this, I know @TCE and the way he treats his dogs is magnificent.seth plum said:
It's OK. He/she doesn't bite.T.C.E said:My future son in law saying "he loves our dogs" then telling our daughter. JJ frightens the **** out of him. What's not to love? Lol
This is stuff I want to hear.
I never believe it though.
When them dogs bite they bite. They do not dick around nipping people, biting is what they do and I'm convinced if one wanted to it could comfortably eat a human being. Rottweilers are good at biting too but whilst they are unbelievably strong I don't think they have the nouse or intelligence of GSD's so could be outwitted. German sheps are often too clever for their own good!2 -
I'm not being rude but....2
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Larger than life character = fat and unfunny woman.7
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GP - 'How many units do you drink per week?'
Me - 'I like the occasional glass of wine with my meal at the weekend'10 -
Man having one of those embarrassing can't keep it up moments. Woman "it doesn't matter".
Yes it does, I was looking forward to a right old rogering.17 -
"Sometimes playing against 10 men is harder than playing against 11."
No it's not - otherwise you would have started with 10 men, to make it more difficult for the opposition. It's hardly a tactic teams use to ensure they don't lose, is it? Get a man sent off early on so that the other team find it harder.5 -
When someone says " no offence but" you know they will come out with something offensive.4
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I doing my best. I'm only 3 ffs.moutuakilla said:
Your spelling has really improvedricky_otto said:The players gave there all - not they'd isn't they were pony.
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Your not wrong Mr Carter, unfortunately us handlers are not always that smart. We don't recognise the signs and we put our hands in the way of the sharp end when separating two scrapping dogs. All dogs bite, I prefer to teach my mine when its appropriate (don't always work though)Carter said:
I love this, I know @TCE and the way he treats his dogs is magnificent.seth plum said:
It's OK. He/she doesn't bite.T.C.E said:My future son in law saying "he loves our dogs" then telling our daughter. JJ frightens the **** out of him. What's not to love? Lol
This is stuff I want to hear.
I never believe it though.
When them dogs bite they bite. They do not dick around nipping people, biting is what they do and I'm convinced if one wanted to it could comfortably eat a human being. Rottweilers are good at biting too but whilst they are unbelievably strong I don't think they have the nouse or intelligence of GSD's so could be outwitted. German sheps are often too clever for their own good!
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Not being funny but1
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The Met Police favourite 'lessons will be learned'.
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and we should know ;-)thenewbie said:"It's the taking part that counts''
No it bloody isn't, no-one told Usain Bolt or whatever 'well you just set a new all time world record but it was the taking part that was important.' do they? Only the losers get told that.0 -
Don't worry, I'm on the pill....6
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Ha ha and I bet he was quite looking forward to providing you with one ;-)Arsenetatters said:Man having one of those embarrassing can't keep it up moments. Woman "it doesn't matter".
Yes it does, I was looking forward to a right old rogering.
As Wellington once remarked " There's nothing worse on God's Earth than a misfiring cannon." :-)
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Obituaries are full of double meaningArsenetatters said:In this Pinocchio era I've been having a think about lies. Here's an example that makes me smile (black humour I know):
Often reported in the news: "He died peacefully". OK it is possible to die peacefully but they are hardly going to report "He died painfully, his head rotating as he spewed blood around the room".
Another death example - words said at a funeral. "she never had a bad word to say about anybody", "he was loved by all". I guess this is what people want to hear rather than "she never had a bad word about anyone except Mr XXXX, who she thought was a complete bastard", "he was loved by his Mum but others thought he was a bit of a pain"
Getting away from death, there are other examples. The classic "how are you?" reply "fine".
Any other examples?
He didn't suffer fools gladly means he was rude and obnoxious.
Convivial at any hours means he was a alcoholic.
BBC stalwart means they knew all about the sexual exploitation going on, but rather disgracefully kept quiet.3 -
What a beautiful baby!8
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Red hand gang Ray?T.C.E said:
Your not wrong Mr Carter, unfortunately us handlers are not always that smart. We don't recognise the signs and we put our hands in the way of the sharp end when separating two scrapping dogs. All dogs bite, I prefer to teach my mine when its appropriate (don't always work though)Carter said:
I love this, I know @TCE and the way he treats his dogs is magnificent.seth plum said:
It's OK. He/she doesn't bite.T.C.E said:My future son in law saying "he loves our dogs" then telling our daughter. JJ frightens the **** out of him. What's not to love? Lol
This is stuff I want to hear.
I never believe it though.
When them dogs bite they bite. They do not dick around nipping people, biting is what they do and I'm convinced if one wanted to it could comfortably eat a human being. Rottweilers are good at biting too but whilst they are unbelievably strong I don't think they have the nouse or intelligence of GSD's so could be outwitted. German sheps are often too clever for their own good!1
