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White lies/saying things that people want to hear
Arsenetatters
Posts: 5,976
In this Pinocchio era I've been having a think about lies. Here's an example that makes me smile (black humour I know):
Often reported in the news: "He died peacefully". OK it is possible to die peacefully but they are hardly going to report "He died painfully, his head rotating as he spewed blood around the room".
Another death example - words said at a funeral. "she never had a bad word to say about anybody", "he was loved by all". I guess this is what people want to hear rather than "she never had a bad word about anyone except Mr XXXX, who she thought was a complete bastard", "he was loved by his Mum but others thought he was a bit of a pain"
Getting away from death, there are other examples. The classic "how are you?" reply "fine".
Any other examples?
Often reported in the news: "He died peacefully". OK it is possible to die peacefully but they are hardly going to report "He died painfully, his head rotating as he spewed blood around the room".
Another death example - words said at a funeral. "she never had a bad word to say about anybody", "he was loved by all". I guess this is what people want to hear rather than "she never had a bad word about anyone except Mr XXXX, who she thought was a complete bastard", "he was loved by his Mum but others thought he was a bit of a pain"
Getting away from death, there are other examples. The classic "how are you?" reply "fine".
Any other examples?
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Comments
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Undisclosed fee.2
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We are looking to sell the club!!0
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Does my bum look big it this - "no love you look great'"- you really mean, " of course it fucking does, you've got a big ass, a dress isn't gonna solve it"
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"He didn't really mean it" of course he meant it, he wouldn't have said it other wise.
"He meant well"
"It's the thought that counts"
"Sheffield United will come good" - no they won't - ever.
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This is one of the most interesting threads I've ever seen on Charlton Life.12
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I'm not a racist but...17
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It's not you it's me....2
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At the end of a game where you've smashed the oppo, hold out your hand and say "well played mate"3
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Don't worry we all make mistakes - means you complete effing idiot :-)1
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Getting clapped back into the pavilion after getting a duck.4
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When someone you know a bit and have ended up talking to in the pub suggests some future social meet-up, the reply is always, 'Definitely'.
It can be roughly translated as, 'definitely not'.6 -
Every bloody game I'm told how well I played. I get it so often that I keep looking out for talent scouts. Now I learn that it's all lies!DaveMehmet said:At the end of a game where you've smashed the oppo, hold out your hand and say "well played mate"
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"It's the taking part that counts''
No it bloody isn't, no-one told Usain Bolt or whatever 'well you just set a new all time world record but it was the taking part that was important.' do they? Only the losers get told that.2 -
"It's what she wouldn't have wanted". What? A feeding frenzy like vultures around grandmas last scraps
Edit: that was a mixing of metaphors by the way. My family didn't eat grandma. Whether she wanted it or not. I meant divvying up her belongings2 -
"Oh unlucky." - means wtf was that!0
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The players gave there all - not they'd isn't they were pony.0
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Your spelling has really improvedricky_otto said:The players gave there all - not they'd isn't they were pony.
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I thought we dominated the game.
No [insert manager name] you were shit and you lost1 -
I'm warming to this thread now.
Said: "Kids, they grow up so quickly these days, don't they?".
Meant: "Your 14 year old daughter is dressing like a slapper."15 -
Our plan is to be a competitive championship club with premier league ambition.8
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And yours was a really good effort too. Well done.2
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Also claiming they deserved a draw after losing - no the team that put that round bouncy thing in those big netted posts more times than you deserved their winSix-a-bag-of-nuts said:I thought we dominated the game.
No [insert manager name] you were shit and you lost1 -
Dog owner: "Rex is only being friendly" as he sinks his teeth into your parts
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XXXX (Insert managers name) has got the full backing of the board1
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When someone describes themselves as a "character", yeah maybe if you're spelling that C-U-N-T8
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PDPs in corporate offices. You can spend your entire waking life slagging off the company, but nobody has ever walked into their annual performance review to say "marketing is a cancer, Abbey is a little Hitler And I dread coming to my desk because the culture of this team makes me cringe"
...at least until last week.3 -
Along the same lines "I'm not politically correct....[insert something racists or homophobic]."Algarveaddick said:I'm not a racist but...
At my last job I got pretty good at the compliment sandwich. "He's a great guy, but..." or "I love him like a brother but..." I'm not usually disingenuous, I just worked with people who were very reactionary and thus had to put things in very nice terms.
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We have the 5th wealthiest country in the world - why are there austerity measures in place?1
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also when talking about someone and they say "I've known xxxx for years so they won't mind me saying this" and proceed to say say things they would never say to their face1
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So true, the last one I actually thought about yesterday because I always reply "not bad" I replied "not bad" yesterday several times despite having just had a tooth out, a cold, straining a back muscle Thursday and doing knee ligaments only 2 weeks ago.Arsenetatters said:In this Pinocchio era I've been having a think about lies. Here's an example that makes me smile (black humour I know):
Often reported in the news: "He died peacefully". OK it is possible to die peacefully but they are hardly going to report "He died painfully, his head rotating as he spewed blood around the room".
Another death example - words said at a funeral. "she never had a bad word to say about anybody", "he was loved by all". I guess this is what people want to hear rather than "she never had a bad word about anyone except Mr XXXX, who she thought was a complete bastard", "he was loved by his Mum but others thought he was a bit of a pain"
Getting away from death, there are other examples. The classic "how are you?" reply "fine".
Any other examples?0
