My 11 year old in his under 12’s match the other week. He is centre back, they were defending a corner and all of a sudden could just hear him shout “ bruh, I ain’t your fucking boyfriend, if you wanna keep touching me you gotta take me on a date”
didn’t know whether to be proud or aghast
Unless he’s an American rapper, he needs grounding until at least 30 for saying “bruh”
The Thick Of It is perhaps the greatest ever production facility of insults and put-downs in the English language. Here are some of my favourites.
You look like a Quentin Blake illustration. He's about as much use as a marzipan dildo. You’re so dense, light bends around you. He’s as much use as a fart in a jam jar. You are a human bullhorn of hot, self-pitying air. You’re like a sweaty octopus trying to unhook a bra. He’s like a Quentin Tarantino version of the Honey Monster. He’s a snooty, stuck-up snob. And I’m not saying he’s elitist, but his butler is more left-wing than he is.
And, of course...
Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off.
It’s like watching a lion rape a sheep… but in a bad way. You are a fucking car crash, in a clown car, on fire, in the middle of fucking nowhere.
Comments
Lady Astor said - "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea. To which Churchill said - "Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it."
Only know this because I'm sitting in my local; The Grasshopper On The Green, and they've got Winston quotes all over the wall. 🇬🇧
Churchill sent a note in reply “can’t make opening night will make the second if you have it”
He's about as much use as a marzipan dildo.
You’re so dense, light bends around you.
He’s as much use as a fart in a jam jar.
You are a human bullhorn of hot, self-pitying air.
You’re like a sweaty octopus trying to unhook a bra.
He’s like a Quentin Tarantino version of the Honey Monster.
He’s a snooty, stuck-up snob. And I’m not saying he’s elitist, but his butler is more left-wing than he is.
And, of course...
Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off.
You are a fucking car crash, in a clown car, on fire, in the middle of fucking nowhere.