My 11 year old in his under 12’s match the other week. He is centre back, they were defending a corner and all of a sudden could just hear him shout “ bruh, I ain’t your fucking boyfriend, if you wanna keep touching me you gotta take me on a date”
didn’t know whether to be proud or aghast
Unless he’s an American rapper, he needs grounding until at least 30 for saying “bruh”
There've been some hilarious fan chants over the years and one of my favourites will always be ''Mesut Ozil, his eyes are offside!!''
@ShootersHillGuru 's military quotes are quite funny and remind me of the remarks given by a drill instructor in the book ''With the Old Breed'' written by Pacific war veteran Eugene Sledge who was one of the main characters in the HBO series ''The Pacific''. Below is an excerpt.
One day while returning from the bayonet course, I got out of step and couldn't pick up the cadence. Corporal Doherty (author's drill instructor) marched along beside me. In his icy tone, he said, “Boy, if you don't get in step and stay in step, I'm gonna kick you so hard in the behind that they're gonna have to take both of us to sick bay. It'll take a major operation to get my foot outa your ass.” With those inspiring words ringing in my ears, I picked up the cadence and never ever lost it again.
The Thick Of It is perhaps the greatest ever production facility of insults and put-downs in the English language. Here are some of my favourites.
You look like a Quentin Blake illustration. He's about as much use as a marzipan dildo. You’re so dense, light bends around you. He’s as much use as a fart in a jam jar. You are a human bullhorn of hot, self-pitying air. You’re like a sweaty octopus trying to unhook a bra. He’s like a Quentin Tarantino version of the Honey Monster. He’s a snooty, stuck-up snob. And I’m not saying he’s elitist, but his butler is more left-wing than he is.
And, of course...
Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off.
It’s like watching a lion rape a sheep… but in a bad way. You are a fucking car crash, in a clown car, on fire, in the middle of fucking nowhere.
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Lady Astor said - "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea. To which Churchill said - "Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it."
Only know this because I'm sitting in my local; The Grasshopper On The Green, and they've got Winston quotes all over the wall. 🇬🇧
Churchill sent a note in reply “can’t make opening night will make the second if you have it”
@ShootersHillGuru 's military quotes are quite funny and remind me of the remarks given by a drill instructor in the book ''With the Old Breed'' written by Pacific war veteran Eugene Sledge who was one of the main characters in the HBO series ''The Pacific''. Below is an excerpt.
One day while returning from the bayonet course, I got out of step and couldn't pick up the cadence. Corporal Doherty (author's drill instructor) marched along beside me. In his icy tone, he said, “Boy, if you don't get in step and stay in step, I'm gonna kick you so hard in the behind that they're gonna have to take both of us to sick bay. It'll take a major operation to get my foot outa your ass.” With those inspiring words ringing in my ears, I picked up the cadence and never ever lost it again.
He's about as much use as a marzipan dildo.
You’re so dense, light bends around you.
He’s as much use as a fart in a jam jar.
You are a human bullhorn of hot, self-pitying air.
You’re like a sweaty octopus trying to unhook a bra.
He’s like a Quentin Tarantino version of the Honey Monster.
He’s a snooty, stuck-up snob. And I’m not saying he’s elitist, but his butler is more left-wing than he is.
And, of course...
Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off.
You are a fucking car crash, in a clown car, on fire, in the middle of fucking nowhere.