One thing I would suggest if you really are dreading it, is to have the speeches before the meal. Nothing worse than sitting there, trying to eat whilst your insides are churning at the thought of what is to come.
How about starting with a mild well known and rather corny joke, not everybody will have heard it but you will get everybody smiling?
Here is an idea for an opening.
When you stand up say: 'I can tell what you're thinking, we're all waiting for the hilarious best man speech but now we've got the groom, and his speech is going to be long and boring. Don't worry folks, it won't be long...but it will be boring'.
My first wedding anniversary in 2 weeks. Giving my speech was one of the highlights of a day full of them. I do enjoy public speaking but can see how it might not be the same for you. Genuinely though, everything else just fades away on the day. The bits I was stressed about in advance didn't bother me on the day, things going wrong didn't seem to matter. Its like your riding a wave. Just celebrating you guys.
Some great advice on here.
Firstly no pressure at all on presentation, print it out and read it (don't read off a phone). Look up occasionally to see people's reactions and that will slow you down.
Don't be afraid to show a bit of emotion. The audience will love it and if you can't do it at your wedding when can you?
Thank people for being there, thank your in laws (maybe a dig or 2! My FIL is a QPR fan), thank your parents, thank bridal parties, and finish by talking to your wife (a dig here goes down well depending on your relationship - I joked that it was a battle to overlook her ordering plain chicken on our first date but I'm glad I got past it!).
Simple. Enjoy it. Genuinely one time in your life you have everyone that loves and cares about you in one room and you get to thank them for being there and being part of your lives. And the one opportunity to celebrate you and your wife. Make the most of it.
One thing I would suggest if you really are dreading it, is to have the speeches before the meal. Nothing worse than sitting there, trying to eat whilst your insides are churning at the thought of what is to come.
We did this, great advice. Get it out the way can eat drink and relax knowing the only things you can mess up are the cake cutting and first dance (and the marriage itself i guess but thats tomorrows porblem!) which you're gonna screw up anyway.
How about starting with a mild well known and rather corny joke, not everybody will have heard it but you will get everybody smiling?
Here is an idea for an opening.
When you stand up say: 'I can tell what you're thinking, we're all waiting for the hilarious best man speech but now we've got the groom, and his speech is going to be long and boring. Don't worry folks, it won't be long...but it will be boring'.
Then off you go. Best wishes for Saturday.
"It's been an emotional day, even the cakes in tiers"
The only genuinely bad grooms speech ive ever seen (big religious family I've been to a hell of a lot of weddings. Reckon 65 in my 29 years) was last year. Groom hasn't prepared anything and ramled a few thank yous. Completely forgot all about his wife. Sat down. Then stood up a couple mins layer as the MC was passing the mic to the next speaker took the mic off him and said "also my wide looks beautiful" and sat down again. Made it look like she'd made him get up and say it.
Moral of the story, as long as you've thought about what you're gonna say and prepared something it will be fine. Even if you read it word for word off paper it will be fine.
Like most things these days (including my similar speech a year ago) - I would ask ChatGPT. As a starter, here’s what it gave me in response to a request to “write a template for a 5 minute speech for a groom on his wedding day, who is a Charlton Athletic fan”. If you add in more specifics, it’ll include them too, but maybe this can be a start. Good luck and don’t worry about - focus on enjoying the day. Hopefully you’ll only have one wedding!
“Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, and of course, my beautiful wife, [Bride's Name]
I want to start by thanking everyone for being here today. Whether you've traveled from near or far, it means the world to [Bride's Name] and me that you're here to celebrate this special day with us. Your love and support truly make this day complete.
Now, I have to say, standing here today reminds me of something every Charlton Athletic fan knows all too well: patience and commitment. (Pause for laughter)
You see, supporting Charlton Athletic has been a rollercoaster ride—full of highs and lows, victories and tough defeats. But through it all, there’s something powerful that keeps us fans coming back: loyalty, love, and the belief that no matter what, the best is yet to come. And I think, when it comes to love and marriage, the same principles apply.
**[Bride's Name],** you are my greatest win—my trophy, if you will. The moment I met you, I knew I’d found my match, the person I’d want by my side through all of life’s challenges and triumphs. And while I may have shouted at Charlton from the stands, it's you I’ll be cheering for every day from now on. In fact, I’m proud to say I’ve found the one person who understands me more than Charlton ever could! (Pause for laughter)
But today isn’t just about me and [Bride's Name]. It's about all of you—our family and friends. Your support, much like a loyal fan base, has gotten us through so much. I want to thank my parents for teaching me about loyalty and love, and of course, [Bride’s Parents] for raising the wonderful person I’m lucky enough to marry.
Lastly, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention my mates—my Charlton crew. You’ve been with me through the long away days, the last-minute goals, and plenty of post-match pints. I expect you’ll still be there with me for those, but now you'll have to share me with [Bride's Name], who’s obviously the better half of the team.
So, to everyone here, thank you again for being part of this incredible day. And to you, [Bride's Name], thank you for choosing me to be your partner, your teammate, and your forever fan.
Let’s raise a glass—to love, to loyalty, and to a lifetime of victories—both big and small. And while Charlton may not always win, with you by my side, I know I always will.
The only genuinely bad grooms speech ive ever seen (big religious family I've been to a hell of a lot of weddings. Reckon 65 in my 29 years) was last year. Groom hasn't prepared anything and ramled a few thank yous. Completely forgot all about his wife. Sat down. Then stood up a couple mins layer as the MC was passing the mic to the next speaker took the mic off him and said "also my wide looks beautiful" and sat down again. Made it look like she'd made him get up and say it.
Moral of the story, as long as you've thought about what you're gonna say and prepared something it will be fine. Even if you read it word for word off paper it will be fine.
Mate, no pressure is on you at all. In order you need to thank
1) Wife & say how lucky you are 2) Parents and in laws, probably best not to try and be funny but nothing wrong with something along the lines of "I've never gotten mother in law jokes, mine XYZ is fantastic" 3) bridal party 4) best man and say he is a notorious liar 5) everyone who has attended and foregone a trip to gay meadow (at this point, the temptation is to say "for anyone unsure what Gay Meadow is, it isn't my best mans favourite weekend retreat, its home of Shrewsbury Town football club who are hosting Charlton today and)
I could understand fear and anxiety if you were best man, but like others have said there’s no pressure on the groom to be funny so it really doesn’t matter.
Good luck mate, second most nerve racking speech I've ever given after being best man for someone, which was genuinely terrifying, made me feel physically ill for the 2 days before it...
Just take your time, the pressure on you is much lighter than you will think, everyone will just be wanting the best man speech to hurry up and come around! The advice above is very good, and I think that's the point with a grooms speech, it should fit that very well worn format of thanking the right people etc, maybe with one or two jokes.
I've had a bad stutter from the age of 3. Its affected every part of my life but its made me stronger. School was horrific for the piss taking and I never had any self confidence as a result. I struggled in job interviews, I couldn't chat up the ladies and was single for a long old while, I found life very difficult. I remember when my brother got married the first time, I found out that I had a few of my friends taking the piss out of me behind my back for how long my best man speech would take because of my stutter. Anxiety overload. But I learned to cope and live with it. It still catches me out now and then tbh and its beyond frustrating but hey.
But believe you me, if I can now get up in front of 200 people in a lecture theatre and take a Finance for Non-Finance Staff presentation once every 6 months when I'm in Accountant-mode, or stand on a balcony in front of 150 wedding guests giving them instructions at the top of my voice when I'm a Wedding Photographer like I did last weekend, you can stand proudly in front of your family and friends and tell them how much you love the lady sitting next to you
If I can, anyone can! Just be prepared but dont over think it. Either write out your speech and just read it, or just go with some flash cards with some bullet points.
I'll be honest, I find flash cards much easier. It took me a long time to get to that point but you don't over think things then. If I'd written a speech and been staring at it over and over, I'd be looking for words that I could possibly stutter on, then I'd be think about alternative switch words if I got stuck and it would just tangle me up even more. I guess I've got that experience to be able to cope now.
Just remember, everyone there is on your side and they want to celebrate with you. When you get called, take a very deep breath, stand up, look out to the crowd and smile. Everyone will be smiling back. Relax and enjoy every minute. And when you finish, give your toast and sit back down again to the applause of your adoring crowd, you'll feel about 8 foot tall and you wife will give you the look of 'god damn thats my husband!'
I actually loved my Grooms speech, 100x easier than the best man one when your job is to crack jokes - when I was best man I was a lot more nervous (and younger to be fair)
I went on for ages in the groom one and found a hilarious poem on the internet that I managed to re-write about how we met.
Best of luck, try any enjoy it and remember that everyone there is on your side
If you're nervous, keep it brief but heartfelt. Thank everyone for coming, tell the wife how amazingly beautiful she is and ask everyone to enjoy themselves. Remember that nobody is expecting you to be some wit or raconteur like Oscar Wilde or Noel Coward.
Thank you all for your kind words. I can't wait to marry the love of my life. My speech will be short and sweet, with a lot of thank yous.
I think I'll pass on the line tho 😅.
Many people say best way to overcome is just do public speaking, however as a self employed plumber that's hard to come by.
Absolutely bricking it.
Hoping we beat Shrewsbury at the weekend, as I will say " today is the best day of my life, not every day we go to Wales and pick up 3 points " so corny I know.
I was a nervous stuttering wreck when I first had to speak publicly. I tried to wing it. Big mistake. Have done 3 successful father of the bride speeches and a couple of eulogies. My way of overcoming nerves is to write it down word for word as you will speak (DONT write as if it’s an essay) and repeat it aloud until it feels matter of fact. You can then let go your deepest feelings without cracking up or feeling embarrassed. You must do a joke. The above is perfect, it’s unique and personal - use it as a segway to - “ but seriously …” and say what you really feel. They’ll be weeping into their glasses of fizz.
Turned down being best man 4 times, including to my brother, because I ain't got the minerals for public speaking. Even shit meself when you gotta introduce yourself on a training course in front of 5 or 6 people lol
As someone who also gets nerves like you on public speaking, My wedding day speech was a piece of piss and yours can be too. Everyone there is there for a good time and all you have to do is thank the important people..... the bar staff.
My late Dad got totally pissed before even the meal at one of my sister’s wedding - he was plastered - he didn’t bother looking at his written notes, just stood up and incoherently ranted on for about 20 mins - it was brilliant, best speech I have witnessed at a wedding - I stood up and applauded him - my sister was fine with it
Turned down being best man 4 times, including to my brother, because I ain't got the minerals for public speaking. Even shit meself when you gotta introduce yourself on a training course in front of 5 or 6 people lol
What about your legendary patter with the great British public……..
I didn't write one, my wife had a massive speech lined up and took nearly 10 minutes saying it all.
I stood up, looked around the room and said a few short things, maybe a minute maximum, but I think it was enough.
I thanked her for saying yes when I asked her out, when I asked her to move in with me, when I asked her to marry me and when I asked her to accompany me to Charlton games ( at that point I slipped in "for better or for worse, remember?!") I then thanked everyone for coming and witnessing it, our families for their support throughout our relationship, and then I took her hand and said thank you in advance, for keeping me grounded in the highs, and lifting me up in the lows that we'll have in life, and finished with "I'm so happy I've managed to marry my soulmate and my best mate in one"
It's not for everyone, but I found just speaking off the cuff came so naturally
I also think this is the way to go. I found myself wasting far too much time stressing about my speech when I got married. In the end I decided to go with off the cuff. No fucker listens anyway. They just want all the pleasantries out of the way so they can get pissed up at your expense.
Whatever you go with will be fine. Just make sure you get your wife’s name right.
Turned down being best man 4 times, including to my brother, because I ain't got the minerals for public speaking. Even shit meself when you gotta introduce yourself on a training course in front of 5 or 6 people lol
What about your legendary patter with the great British public……..
”You want king size or super king mate”?
I hid behind my alter ego in the shop, called myself Johnny Patel. I dropped him when @DamoNorthStand gazumped me in a property deal...
Comments
Here is an idea for an opening.
When you stand up say: 'I can tell what you're thinking, we're all waiting for the hilarious best man speech but now we've got the groom, and his speech is going to be long and boring. Don't worry folks, it won't be long...but it will be boring'.
Then off you go. Best wishes for Saturday.
Some great advice on here.
Firstly no pressure at all on presentation, print it out and read it (don't read off a phone). Look up occasionally to see people's reactions and that will slow you down.
Don't be afraid to show a bit of emotion. The audience will love it and if you can't do it at your wedding when can you?
Thank people for being there, thank your in laws (maybe a dig or 2! My FIL is a QPR fan), thank your parents, thank bridal parties, and finish by talking to your wife (a dig here goes down well depending on your relationship - I joked that it was a battle to overlook her ordering plain chicken on our first date but I'm glad I got past it!).
Simple. Enjoy it. Genuinely one time in your life you have everyone that loves and cares about you in one room and you get to thank them for being there and being part of your lives. And the one opportunity to celebrate you and your wife. Make the most of it.
Moral of the story, as long as you've thought about what you're gonna say and prepared something it will be fine. Even if you read it word for word off paper it will be fine.
1) Wife & say how lucky you are
2) Parents and in laws, probably best not to try and be funny but nothing wrong with something along the lines of "I've never gotten mother in law jokes, mine XYZ is fantastic"
3) bridal party
4) best man and say he is a notorious liar
5) everyone who has attended and foregone a trip to gay meadow (at this point, the temptation is to say "for anyone unsure what Gay Meadow is, it isn't my best mans favourite weekend retreat, its home of Shrewsbury Town football club who are hosting Charlton today and)
Just take your time, the pressure on you is much lighter than you will think, everyone will just be wanting the best man speech to hurry up and come around! The advice above is very good, and I think that's the point with a grooms speech, it should fit that very well worn format of thanking the right people etc, maybe with one or two jokes.
Good luck, and congratulations!
I've had a bad stutter from the age of 3. Its affected every part of my life but its made me stronger. School was horrific for the piss taking and I never had any self confidence as a result. I struggled in job interviews, I couldn't chat up the ladies and was single for a long old while, I found life very difficult. I remember when my brother got married the first time, I found out that I had a few of my friends taking the piss out of me behind my back for how long my best man speech would take because of my stutter. Anxiety overload. But I learned to cope and live with it. It still catches me out now and then tbh and its beyond frustrating but hey.
But believe you me, if I can now get up in front of 200 people in a lecture theatre and take a Finance for Non-Finance Staff presentation once every 6 months when I'm in Accountant-mode, or stand on a balcony in front of 150 wedding guests giving them instructions at the top of my voice when I'm a Wedding Photographer like I did last weekend, you can stand proudly in front of your family and friends and tell them how much you love the lady sitting next to you
If I can, anyone can! Just be prepared but dont over think it. Either write out your speech and just read it, or just go with some flash cards with some bullet points.
I'll be honest, I find flash cards much easier. It took me a long time to get to that point but you don't over think things then. If I'd written a speech and been staring at it over and over, I'd be looking for words that I could possibly stutter on, then I'd be think about alternative switch words if I got stuck and it would just tangle me up even more. I guess I've got that experience to be able to cope now.
Just remember, everyone there is on your side and they want to celebrate with you. When you get called, take a very deep breath, stand up, look out to the crowd and smile. Everyone will be smiling back. Relax and enjoy every minute. And when you finish, give your toast and sit back down again to the applause of your adoring crowd, you'll feel about 8 foot tall and you wife will give you the look of 'god damn thats my husband!'
Go get em Tiger
I went on for ages in the groom one and found a hilarious poem on the internet that I managed to re-write about how we met.
Best of luck, try any enjoy it and remember that everyone there is on your side
Have done 3 successful father of the bride speeches and a couple of eulogies. My way of overcoming nerves is to write it down word for word as you will speak (DONT write as if it’s an essay) and repeat it aloud until it feels matter of fact. You can then let go your deepest feelings without cracking up or feeling embarrassed.
You must do a joke. The above is perfect, it’s unique and personal - use it as a segway to - “ but seriously …” and say what you really feel. They’ll be weeping into their glasses of fizz.
....CL of course😉
be funny,
be quick
and
be seated
”You want king size or super king mate”?