Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
I think you may have missed the point.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Money you would never have had in your account in the first place if you were PAYE...
Because people who are PAYE never have to do tax returns 🤦
Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
I think you may have missed the point.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Money you would never have had in your account in the first place if you were PAYE...
I was self employed under the CIS scheme and was deducted tax at source, however because I had a really good year (By working loads of overtime) I went over the 20% threshold and had to pay extra along with some tax upfront for the following year.
Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
I think you may have missed the point.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Money you would never have had in your account in the first place if you were PAYE...
I was self employed under the CIS scheme and was deducted tax at source, however because I had a really good year I went over the 20% threshold and had to pay extra along with some tax upfront for the following year.
Ah, sorry to hear that (although at the same time happy as it sounds like you had a good year).
Not a lot of good to you now, but it looks like they are relaxing the "time to pay" rules a lot for the amounts due on the 2019-20 financial year (due this coming Jan 31st).
Got a letter this morning from Advantis debt collection agency acting for HMRC. It didn't specify what the money owed was for but checking our records I saw it was for Corporation Tax due in February, which we paid. I rang agency and gave them details and contacted HMRC via online chat. They confirmed the payment was made and they would resolve by 16 November (why can't they resolve now) and didn't apologise. I asked the operator whether their error could affect our company's credit waiting, she said she wasn't sure but wouldn't think so!
Mistakes happen, but what sort of scum goes direct to a debt collection agency without contacting us first? I spoke to our accountant and he told me he has seen this before. Anybody else had dealings with this joke of an organisation?
Sorry to hear that.
The corporation tax section of HMRC are absolute scum as Angela Rayner MP might say.
Compare and contrast what you are suffering with their attitude to corporation tax refunds. It takes them months to process them and invariably to get the money you have to repeatedly write or even lodge a complaint for them to finally part with the money companies are rightfully and lawfully entitled to.
It is my personal belief that they 'try it on' with refunds and play on the lack of knowledge of non finance specialist company directors and sometimes their accountants who act as agents. Large firms of accountants have a high staff turnover and it is easy for knowledge of a potential refund to get 'lost' when there is no continuity.
And yes, as you say, the ignorant c**** NEVER apologise!
Written earlier today chasing a corporation tax refund that has been outstanding for nearly 8 months since submission of the relevant form (CT 600 they call it)!
I have left it a few months longer than I would normally do before writing because of COVID-19 delays (although that wouldn't apply if YOU were the one doing the 'delaying!'). I reckon it will be at least a year after submission of the CT 600 referred to above before this small company gets its money back. This is at a time when cash flow is stretched yet in the wider media there is no pressure applied at all to HMRC regarding their appalling record with corporation tax refunds.
It will be two years since the Company actually forked out the tax it is reclaiming.
Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
I think you may have missed the point.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Money you would never have had in your account in the first place if you were PAYE...
Hate this reverse snobbery by the employee crowd,
Shock horror it actually costs money to administer and maintain the PAYE system - by doing his own taxes his helping to save the taxman money.
Employees on PAYE never have to suffer the stress and risk of not being paid anything for months or even working. If everybody was PAYE there would be basically no benefit in creating wealth by going out on your own and we'd be living in a corporatist oligarchy (if we don't do already).
Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
I think you may have missed the point.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Money you would never have had in your account in the first place if you were PAYE...
Hate this reverse snobbery by the employee crowd,
Shock horror it actually costs money to administer and maintain the PAYE system - by doing his own taxes his helping to save the taxman money.
Employees on PAYE never have to suffer the stress and risk of not being paid anything for months or even working. If everybody was PAYE there would be basically no benefit in creating wealth by going out on your own and we'd be living in a corporatist oligarchy (if we don't do already).
Until a few days ago I was self-employed for the past 4 years mate. I put 30% of my earnings in an ISA that I didn't touch.
Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
I think you may have missed the point.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Money you would never have had in your account in the first place if you were PAYE...
Hate this reverse snobbery by the employee crowd,
Shock horror it actually costs money to administer and maintain the PAYE system - by doing his own taxes his helping to save the taxman money.
Employees on PAYE never have to suffer the stress and risk of not being paid anything for months or even working. If everybody was PAYE there would be basically no benefit in creating wealth by going out on your own and we'd be living in a corporatist oligarchy (if we don't do already).
Until a few days ago I was self-employed for the past 4 years mate. I put 30% of my earnings in an ISA that I didn't touch.
Exactly.
If you don't put away a percentage of your income to pay your tax liabilities, then more fool you.
Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
I think you may have missed the point.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
this is exactly what happened to me, with an added bit.
I couldn't pay all of it, set it all up so I could then pay it off during the year, i agreed an upfront fee - but I paid this directly, I had also (unwittingly) set up a direct debit for that upfront amount, so I ended up paying them twice as much of the up front fee as agreed. This sent me well overdrawn, I had to get people i loved to lend me money to survive. I rang them up asking for some of the money back as it was in error and i spoke to some twatty grumpy scottish bloke who had all the empathy of hannibal lector. I was near suicidal at the time, panicky, and i can imagine i had gone far enough up the chain that i was talking to a bloke who spoke to desperate people all the time. But still, he was literally one of the worst people i've ever spoken to. Fuck those guys.
I was young(er) and stupid, i hold my hands up in not having the money, but i tried to do things the right way and they still fucked me. I paid it off, paid off everyone who i borrowed and now i make sure to pay my taxes but do everything i can so they don't get more than they should. I pay more than enough for my conscience to be clear.
Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
straw man, you do realise donald trump is trying to make america great again, dont you? Ergo if you disagree with trump you're disagreeing with making america great hurr hurr i'm so clever.
No, yours is the straw man - you started talking about something else altogether. I'm talking about what you said which was, and I quote, 'fuck hmrc'. I'm not talking about Trump or MAGA or some other nonsense that you imagined I might have been thinking about, or perhaps chose to introduce as some sort of deflection.
So, back to HMRC. As a taxpayer I don't want HMRC fucked. I want HMRC to be a healthy and strong tax collecting organisation that performs a vital service for this country. You've clearly got issues with it as an organisation and that's fine. I hope you continue to raise your concerns and I hope HMRC works to address them. What I am saying is that childish slogans like 'fuck hmrc' are unhelpful because they could potentially discourage tax paying across the wider community. As a concerned citizen I don't want that because I want the country to be well funded.
Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
straw man, you do realise donald trump is trying to make america great again, dont you? Ergo if you disagree with trump you're disagreeing with making america great hurr hurr i'm so clever.
No, yours is the straw man - you started talking about something else altogether. I'm talking about what you said which was, and I quote, 'fuck hmrc'. I'm not talking about Trump or MAGA or some other nonsense that you imagined I might have been thinking about, or perhaps chose to introduce as some sort of deflection.
So, back to HMRC. As a taxpayer I don't want HMRC fucked. I want HMRC to be a healthy and strong tax collecting organisation that performs a vital service for this country. You've clearly got issues with it as an organisation and that's fine. I hope you continue to raise your concerns and I hope HMRC works to address them. What I am saying is that childish slogans like 'fuck hmrc' are unhelpful because they could potentially discourage tax paying across the wider community. As a concerned citizen I don't want that because I want the country to be well funded.
I literally said "Pay your taxes". So, yes, you are making a straw man about me telling people not to pay taxes.
Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
I think you may have missed the point.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Money you would never have had in your account in the first place if you were PAYE...
Hate this reverse snobbery by the employee crowd,
Shock horror it actually costs money to administer and maintain the PAYE system - by doing his own taxes his helping to save the taxman money.
Employees on PAYE never have to suffer the stress and risk of not being paid anything for months or even working. If everybody was PAYE there would be basically no benefit in creating wealth by going out on your own and we'd be living in a corporatist oligarchy (if we don't do already).
Until a few days ago I was self-employed for the past 4 years mate. I put 30% of my earnings in an ISA that I didn't touch.
I hope you were not using that 30% in full, if so you need another accountant. Great idea to put 30% away but after your accountant has audited your books you should have a large proportion left.
Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
I think you may have missed the point.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Money you would never have had in your account in the first place if you were PAYE...
Hate this reverse snobbery by the employee crowd,
Shock horror it actually costs money to administer and maintain the PAYE system - by doing his own taxes his helping to save the taxman money.
Employees on PAYE never have to suffer the stress and risk of not being paid anything for months or even working. If everybody was PAYE there would be basically no benefit in creating wealth by going out on your own and we'd be living in a corporatist oligarchy (if we don't do already).
Until a few days ago I was self-employed for the past 4 years mate. I put 30% of my earnings in an ISA that I didn't touch.
erm, congratulations?
So that means nobody can fall on hard times, ever. Cool story bro.
Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
I think you may have missed the point.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Money you would never have had in your account in the first place if you were PAYE...
Hate this reverse snobbery by the employee crowd,
Shock horror it actually costs money to administer and maintain the PAYE system - by doing his own taxes his helping to save the taxman money.
Employees on PAYE never have to suffer the stress and risk of not being paid anything for months or even working. If everybody was PAYE there would be basically no benefit in creating wealth by going out on your own and we'd be living in a corporatist oligarchy (if we don't do already).
It was a good few years ago so all water under the bridge although it did leave a bad taste in the mouth as I thought it penalised hard work.
Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
I think you may have missed the point.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Money you would never have had in your account in the first place if you were PAYE...
Hate this reverse snobbery by the employee crowd,
Shock horror it actually costs money to administer and maintain the PAYE system - by doing his own taxes his helping to save the taxman money.
Employees on PAYE never have to suffer the stress and risk of not being paid anything for months or even working. If everybody was PAYE there would be basically no benefit in creating wealth by going out on your own and we'd be living in a corporatist oligarchy (if we don't do already).
Until a few days ago I was self-employed for the past 4 years mate. I put 30% of my earnings in an ISA that I didn't touch.
Exactly.
If you don't put away a percentage of your income to pay your tax liabilities, then more fool you.
i mean, i agree with this, i was objecting to the snobbery of PAYE workers who are almost certainly either being fucked by the tax system or their employer, or both.
Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
straw man, you do realise donald trump is trying to make america great again, dont you? Ergo if you disagree with trump you're disagreeing with making america great hurr hurr i'm so clever.
No, yours is the straw man - you started talking about something else altogether. I'm talking about what you said which was, and I quote, 'fuck hmrc'. I'm not talking about Trump or MAGA or some other nonsense that you imagined I might have been thinking about, or perhaps chose to introduce as some sort of deflection.
So, back to HMRC. As a taxpayer I don't want HMRC fucked. I want HMRC to be a healthy and strong tax collecting organisation that performs a vital service for this country. You've clearly got issues with it as an organisation and that's fine. I hope you continue to raise your concerns and I hope HMRC works to address them. What I am saying is that childish slogans like 'fuck hmrc' are unhelpful because they could potentially discourage tax paying across the wider community. As a concerned citizen I don't want that because I want the country to be well funded.
100% right but they are also a public service that need to be a bit more helpful. I have had forms go missing in their internal mail and then they want to hit me with a fine for it, then get told to "Just pay it or it will get worse". All those problems went away when I got an accountant though.
Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
straw man, you do realise donald trump is trying to make america great again, dont you? Ergo if you disagree with trump you're disagreeing with making america great hurr hurr i'm so clever.
No, yours is the straw man - you started talking about something else altogether. I'm talking about what you said which was, and I quote, 'fuck hmrc'. I'm not talking about Trump or MAGA or some other nonsense that you imagined I might have been thinking about, or perhaps chose to introduce as some sort of deflection.
So, back to HMRC. As a taxpayer I don't want HMRC fucked. I want HMRC to be a healthy and strong tax collecting organisation that performs a vital service for this country. You've clearly got issues with it as an organisation and that's fine. I hope you continue to raise your concerns and I hope HMRC works to address them. What I am saying is that childish slogans like 'fuck hmrc' are unhelpful because they could potentially discourage tax paying across the wider community. As a concerned citizen I don't want that because I want the country to be well funded.
I literally said "Pay your taxes". So, yes, you are making a straw man about me telling people not to pay taxes.
Either that or I didn't focus on those three words - my attention being grabbed by the 'fuck hmrc' line. So what might this fucking of HMRC actually look like then? Will the citizens, of the UK actually be any better for it?
Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
I think you may have missed the point.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Money you would never have had in your account in the first place if you were PAYE...
Hate this reverse snobbery by the employee crowd,
Shock horror it actually costs money to administer and maintain the PAYE system - by doing his own taxes his helping to save the taxman money.
Employees on PAYE never have to suffer the stress and risk of not being paid anything for months or even working. If everybody was PAYE there would be basically no benefit in creating wealth by going out on your own and we'd be living in a corporatist oligarchy (if we don't do already).
Until a few days ago I was self-employed for the past 4 years mate. I put 30% of my earnings in an ISA that I didn't touch.
I hope you were not using that 30% in full, if so you need another accountant. Great idea to put 30% away but after your accountant has audited your books you should have a large proportion left.
I more or less was, but I had a PAYE job as well, so my self employed income was at my marginal tax rate, which was a complicated scenario!
I am an accountant, so I'd really worry if I needed another one!
Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
straw man, you do realise donald trump is trying to make america great again, dont you? Ergo if you disagree with trump you're disagreeing with making america great hurr hurr i'm so clever.
No, yours is the straw man - you started talking about something else altogether. I'm talking about what you said which was, and I quote, 'fuck hmrc'. I'm not talking about Trump or MAGA or some other nonsense that you imagined I might have been thinking about, or perhaps chose to introduce as some sort of deflection.
So, back to HMRC. As a taxpayer I don't want HMRC fucked. I want HMRC to be a healthy and strong tax collecting organisation that performs a vital service for this country. You've clearly got issues with it as an organisation and that's fine. I hope you continue to raise your concerns and I hope HMRC works to address them. What I am saying is that childish slogans like 'fuck hmrc' are unhelpful because they could potentially discourage tax paying across the wider community. As a concerned citizen I don't want that because I want the country to be well funded.
I literally said "Pay your taxes". So, yes, you are making a straw man about me telling people not to pay taxes.
Either that or I didn't focus on those three words - my attention being grabbed by the 'fuck hmrc' line. So what might this fucking of HMRC actually look like then? Will the citizens, of the UK actually be any better for it?
I just helped my mate, who is largely devoid of braincells but a nice guy, to register for self employment.
He insisted before clicking "continue" on each of the pages on screaming "fuck the queen."
Ahh, good old HMRC. The stories I could tell from back in the day ..... if only I hadn't signed the official secrets act!
Great memories of just making things up as you went along, bumbling your way through the day and when "working late" meant being at your desk past 4pm!
The pay wasn't great but despite that over half the people there at my time were absolutely stealing a living.
Ah, go on then, just the one story then, seeing as you asked nicely.
There was a pub round the corner from the office which was always full of people from work, a right dive but cheap booze - a civil servants dream. The guvnor there was on first name terms with about a third of the office and there would be regular lock-ins (not HMRC's bag, so "fine") plus a couple of "entertainment only" poker machines which they would always pay-out on behind the bar and shelves full of duty free booze the guvnor had brought back by the vanload from one of his regular trips to France (both firmly in HMRC's bag!)
I pointed this out to one of my mates during one particular lock-in he said, "yeah, but who you gonna tell?" and nodded over my shoulder. When I looked round there's the main man for the whole region sat in the corner off his tits tucking into a large duty free scotch !
Oh and the same bloke also had something like £5-6k nicked out of his suit jacket whilst it was over his chair in the office. He went mental about it, until someone asked him why he had so much cash in the office. Turns out he was having some building work done and had taken it out to pay the builder - cash in hand. Couldn't make it up.
Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
I think you may have missed the point.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Money you would never have had in your account in the first place if you were PAYE...
Because people who are PAYE never have to do tax returns 🤦
The unofficial HMRC scammers are trying another way to get you, this time a very threatening phone call, reference a fraud case against you, apparently if you don’t press 1 you will be arrested immediately, my call was from a mobile phone which didn’t add authenticity to the call. Mans voice very authoritative and for a second had me wondering, then laughing.
My wife had that one. We were in the car so were both able to listen to it. A man said she was going to be prosecuted immediately. We laughed at at him and said go on then do your worst, he put the phone down. But these scammers do get some unfortunate people to bite.
Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
....unless you are Amazon (or similar) of course.
Another reason to fuck hmrc, once they go after Amazon and Facebook for the billions they owe I’ll be marginally ok with them treating me like a piece of shit at one of my lowest moments over a couple of k
You do realise that the money they collect is for public use and not for their own benefit, don't you?
I think you may have missed the point.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Money you would never have had in your account in the first place if you were PAYE...
Because people who are PAYE never have to do tax returns 🤦
Yes they do.
I used to have to do a tax return in a previous employment even though I was PAYE. Basically I used to earn a fair bit more than my basic wage, made up up from overtime and other bits that made a calculation impossible as my earnings could not be projected. Never a year went by when either I owed them some money from the previous year or they me.
Comments
Not a lot of good to you now, but it looks like they are relaxing the "time to pay" rules a lot for the amounts due on the 2019-20 financial year (due this coming Jan 31st).
I have left it a few months longer than I would normally do before writing because of COVID-19 delays (although that wouldn't apply if YOU were the one doing the 'delaying!'). I reckon it will be at least a year after submission of the CT 600 referred to above before this small company gets its money back. This is at a time when cash flow is stretched yet in the wider media there is no pressure applied at all to HMRC regarding their appalling record with corporation tax refunds.
It will be two years since the Company actually forked out the tax it is reclaiming.
Shock horror it actually costs money to administer and maintain the PAYE system - by doing his own taxes his helping to save the taxman money.
Employees on PAYE never have to suffer the stress and risk of not being paid anything for months or even working. If everybody was PAYE there would be basically no benefit in creating wealth by going out on your own and we'd be living in a corporatist oligarchy (if we don't do already).
If you don't put away a percentage of your income to pay your tax liabilities, then more fool you.
I couldn't pay all of it, set it all up so I could then pay it off during the year, i agreed an upfront fee - but I paid this directly, I had also (unwittingly) set up a direct debit for that upfront amount, so I ended up paying them twice as much of the up front fee as agreed. This sent me well overdrawn, I had to get people i loved to lend me money to survive. I rang them up asking for some of the money back as it was in error and i spoke to some twatty grumpy scottish bloke who had all the empathy of hannibal lector. I was near suicidal at the time, panicky, and i can imagine i had gone far enough up the chain that i was talking to a bloke who spoke to desperate people all the time. But still, he was literally one of the worst people i've ever spoken to. Fuck those guys.
I was young(er) and stupid, i hold my hands up in not having the money, but i tried to do things the right way and they still fucked me. I paid it off, paid off everyone who i borrowed and now i make sure to pay my taxes but do everything i can so they don't get more than they should. I pay more than enough for my conscience to be clear.
So that means nobody can fall on hard times, ever. Cool story bro.
Had tax deducted at source but got hit with a bombshell as most of the bill was for tax upfront for the year ahead.
Always had money left over, but even after deductions and expenses 30% was never far off. Mind you, I never paid for an accountant.
Totally dedicated to the task and working hard to ensure the country has the tax revenue needed to support the services we all need on a daily basis.
I tried on Tuesday Wednesday Thursday and Friday and not a sniff!
It's like trying to get tickets for Glastonbury.
I am an accountant, so I'd really worry if I needed another one!
He insisted before clicking "continue" on each of the pages on screaming "fuck the queen."
ps hope you get your situation resolved soon Muttley
Great memories of just making things up as you went along, bumbling your way through the day and when "working late" meant being at your desk past 4pm!
The pay wasn't great but despite that over half the people there at my time were absolutely stealing a living.
There was a pub round the corner from the office which was always full of people from work, a right dive but cheap booze - a civil servants dream. The guvnor there was on first name terms with about a third of the office and there would be regular lock-ins (not HMRC's bag, so "fine") plus a couple of "entertainment only" poker machines which they would always pay-out on behind the bar and shelves full of duty free booze the guvnor had brought back by the vanload from one of his regular trips to France (both firmly in HMRC's bag!)
I pointed this out to one of my mates during one particular lock-in he said, "yeah, but who you gonna tell?" and nodded over my shoulder. When I looked round there's the main man for the whole region sat in the corner off his tits tucking into a large duty free scotch !
Oh and the same bloke also had something like £5-6k nicked out of his suit jacket whilst it was over his chair in the office. He went mental about it, until someone asked him why he had so much cash in the office. Turns out he was having some building work done and had taken it out to pay the builder - cash in hand. Couldn't make it up.
Eventually got through to a nice lady who sort of helped me out, she was in her front room in Bradford.
We laughed at at him and said go on then do your worst, he put the phone down.
But these scammers do get some unfortunate people to bite.
Never a year went by when either I owed them some money from the previous year or they me.