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HMRC
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Huskaris said:cafc999 said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?5 -
Huskaris said:cafc999 said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?0 -
cafc999 said:Huskaris said:cafc999 said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Not a lot of good to you now, but it looks like they are relaxing the "time to pay" rules a lot for the amounts due on the 2019-20 financial year (due this coming Jan 31st).0 -
LenGlover said:MuttleyCAFC said:Got a letter this morning from Advantis debt collection agency acting for HMRC. It didn't specify what the money owed was for but checking our records I saw it was for Corporation Tax due in February, which we paid. I rang agency and gave them details and contacted HMRC via online chat. They confirmed the payment was made and they would resolve by 16 November (why can't they resolve now) and didn't apologise. I asked the operator whether their error could affect our company's credit waiting, she said she wasn't sure but wouldn't think so!
Mistakes happen, but what sort of scum goes direct to a debt collection agency without contacting us first? I spoke to our accountant and he told me he has seen this before. Anybody else had dealings with this joke of an organisation?
The corporation tax section of HMRC are absolute scum as Angela Rayner MP might say.
Compare and contrast what you are suffering with their attitude to corporation tax refunds. It takes them months to process them and invariably to get the money you have to repeatedly write or even lodge a complaint for them to finally part with the money companies are rightfully and lawfully entitled to.
It is my personal belief that they 'try it on' with refunds and play on the lack of knowledge of non finance specialist company directors and sometimes their accountants who act as agents. Large firms of accountants have a high staff turnover and it is easy for knowledge of a potential refund to get 'lost' when there is no continuity.
And yes, as you say, the ignorant c**** NEVER apologise!
I have left it a few months longer than I would normally do before writing because of COVID-19 delays (although that wouldn't apply if YOU were the one doing the 'delaying!'). I reckon it will be at least a year after submission of the CT 600 referred to above before this small company gets its money back. This is at a time when cash flow is stretched yet in the wider media there is no pressure applied at all to HMRC regarding their appalling record with corporation tax refunds.
It will be two years since the Company actually forked out the tax it is reclaiming.0 -
Huskaris said:cafc999 said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Shock horror it actually costs money to administer and maintain the PAYE system - by doing his own taxes his helping to save the taxman money.
Employees on PAYE never have to suffer the stress and risk of not being paid anything for months or even working. If everybody was PAYE there would be basically no benefit in creating wealth by going out on your own and we'd be living in a corporatist oligarchy (if we don't do already).
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kentaddick said:Huskaris said:cafc999 said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Shock horror it actually costs money to administer and maintain the PAYE system - by doing his own taxes his helping to save the taxman money.
Employees on PAYE never have to suffer the stress and risk of not being paid anything for months or even working. If everybody was PAYE there would be basically no benefit in creating wealth by going out on your own and we'd be living in a corporatist oligarchy (if we don't do already).
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Huskaris said:kentaddick said:Huskaris said:cafc999 said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Shock horror it actually costs money to administer and maintain the PAYE system - by doing his own taxes his helping to save the taxman money.
Employees on PAYE never have to suffer the stress and risk of not being paid anything for months or even working. If everybody was PAYE there would be basically no benefit in creating wealth by going out on your own and we'd be living in a corporatist oligarchy (if we don't do already).
If you don't put away a percentage of your income to pay your tax liabilities, then more fool you.1 -
cafc999 said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
I couldn't pay all of it, set it all up so I could then pay it off during the year, i agreed an upfront fee - but I paid this directly, I had also (unwittingly) set up a direct debit for that upfront amount, so I ended up paying them twice as much of the up front fee as agreed. This sent me well overdrawn, I had to get people i loved to lend me money to survive. I rang them up asking for some of the money back as it was in error and i spoke to some twatty grumpy scottish bloke who had all the empathy of hannibal lector. I was near suicidal at the time, panicky, and i can imagine i had gone far enough up the chain that i was talking to a bloke who spoke to desperate people all the time. But still, he was literally one of the worst people i've ever spoken to. Fuck those guys.
I was young(er) and stupid, i hold my hands up in not having the money, but i tried to do things the right way and they still fucked me. I paid it off, paid off everyone who i borrowed and now i make sure to pay my taxes but do everything i can so they don't get more than they should. I pay more than enough for my conscience to be clear.0 -
kentaddick said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.No, yours is the straw man - you started talking about something else altogether. I'm talking about what you said which was, and I quote, 'fuck hmrc'. I'm not talking about Trump or MAGA or some other nonsense that you imagined I might have been thinking about, or perhaps chose to introduce as some sort of deflection.So, back to HMRC. As a taxpayer I don't want HMRC fucked. I want HMRC to be a healthy and strong tax collecting organisation that performs a vital service for this country. You've clearly got issues with it as an organisation and that's fine. I hope you continue to raise your concerns and I hope HMRC works to address them. What I am saying is that childish slogans like 'fuck hmrc' are unhelpful because they could potentially discourage tax paying across the wider community. As a concerned citizen I don't want that because I want the country to be well funded.3
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Stig said:kentaddick said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.No, yours is the straw man - you started talking about something else altogether. I'm talking about what you said which was, and I quote, 'fuck hmrc'. I'm not talking about Trump or MAGA or some other nonsense that you imagined I might have been thinking about, or perhaps chose to introduce as some sort of deflection.So, back to HMRC. As a taxpayer I don't want HMRC fucked. I want HMRC to be a healthy and strong tax collecting organisation that performs a vital service for this country. You've clearly got issues with it as an organisation and that's fine. I hope you continue to raise your concerns and I hope HMRC works to address them. What I am saying is that childish slogans like 'fuck hmrc' are unhelpful because they could potentially discourage tax paying across the wider community. As a concerned citizen I don't want that because I want the country to be well funded.
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Huskaris said:kentaddick said:Huskaris said:cafc999 said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Shock horror it actually costs money to administer and maintain the PAYE system - by doing his own taxes his helping to save the taxman money.
Employees on PAYE never have to suffer the stress and risk of not being paid anything for months or even working. If everybody was PAYE there would be basically no benefit in creating wealth by going out on your own and we'd be living in a corporatist oligarchy (if we don't do already).2 -
Huskaris said:kentaddick said:Huskaris said:cafc999 said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Shock horror it actually costs money to administer and maintain the PAYE system - by doing his own taxes his helping to save the taxman money.
Employees on PAYE never have to suffer the stress and risk of not being paid anything for months or even working. If everybody was PAYE there would be basically no benefit in creating wealth by going out on your own and we'd be living in a corporatist oligarchy (if we don't do already).
So that means nobody can fall on hard times, ever. Cool story bro.0 -
kentaddick said:Huskaris said:cafc999 said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Shock horror it actually costs money to administer and maintain the PAYE system - by doing his own taxes his helping to save the taxman money.
Employees on PAYE never have to suffer the stress and risk of not being paid anything for months or even working. If everybody was PAYE there would be basically no benefit in creating wealth by going out on your own and we'd be living in a corporatist oligarchy (if we don't do already).Addickted said:Exactly.
If you don't put away a percentage of your income to pay your tax liabilities, then more fool you.0 -
Addickted said:Huskaris said:kentaddick said:Huskaris said:cafc999 said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Shock horror it actually costs money to administer and maintain the PAYE system - by doing his own taxes his helping to save the taxman money.
Employees on PAYE never have to suffer the stress and risk of not being paid anything for months or even working. If everybody was PAYE there would be basically no benefit in creating wealth by going out on your own and we'd be living in a corporatist oligarchy (if we don't do already).
If you don't put away a percentage of your income to pay your tax liabilities, then more fool you.0 -
I always put 30% away - to the pound.
Always had money left over, but even after deductions and expenses 30% was never far off. Mind you, I never paid for an accountant.1 -
Stig said:kentaddick said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.No, yours is the straw man - you started talking about something else altogether. I'm talking about what you said which was, and I quote, 'fuck hmrc'. I'm not talking about Trump or MAGA or some other nonsense that you imagined I might have been thinking about, or perhaps chose to introduce as some sort of deflection.So, back to HMRC. As a taxpayer I don't want HMRC fucked. I want HMRC to be a healthy and strong tax collecting organisation that performs a vital service for this country. You've clearly got issues with it as an organisation and that's fine. I hope you continue to raise your concerns and I hope HMRC works to address them. What I am saying is that childish slogans like 'fuck hmrc' are unhelpful because they could potentially discourage tax paying across the wider community. As a concerned citizen I don't want that because I want the country to be well funded.1
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kentaddick said:Stig said:kentaddick said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.No, yours is the straw man - you started talking about something else altogether. I'm talking about what you said which was, and I quote, 'fuck hmrc'. I'm not talking about Trump or MAGA or some other nonsense that you imagined I might have been thinking about, or perhaps chose to introduce as some sort of deflection.So, back to HMRC. As a taxpayer I don't want HMRC fucked. I want HMRC to be a healthy and strong tax collecting organisation that performs a vital service for this country. You've clearly got issues with it as an organisation and that's fine. I hope you continue to raise your concerns and I hope HMRC works to address them. What I am saying is that childish slogans like 'fuck hmrc' are unhelpful because they could potentially discourage tax paying across the wider community. As a concerned citizen I don't want that because I want the country to be well funded.Either that or I didn't focus on those three words - my attention being grabbed by the 'fuck hmrc' line. So what might this fucking of HMRC actually look like then? Will the citizens, of the UK actually be any better for it?3
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I’ll pass on the good wishes to my son who has worked for HMRC for the last couple of years
Totally dedicated to the task and working hard to ensure the country has the tax revenue needed to support the services we all need on a daily basis.7 -
Anyone had any luck trying to get through on their online chat facility?
I tried on Tuesday Wednesday Thursday and Friday and not a sniff!
It's like trying to get tickets for Glastonbury.
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eaststandmike said:Huskaris said:kentaddick said:Huskaris said:cafc999 said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Shock horror it actually costs money to administer and maintain the PAYE system - by doing his own taxes his helping to save the taxman money.
Employees on PAYE never have to suffer the stress and risk of not being paid anything for months or even working. If everybody was PAYE there would be basically no benefit in creating wealth by going out on your own and we'd be living in a corporatist oligarchy (if we don't do already).
I am an accountant, so I'd really worry if I needed another one!2 -
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Stig said:kentaddick said:Stig said:kentaddick said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.No, yours is the straw man - you started talking about something else altogether. I'm talking about what you said which was, and I quote, 'fuck hmrc'. I'm not talking about Trump or MAGA or some other nonsense that you imagined I might have been thinking about, or perhaps chose to introduce as some sort of deflection.So, back to HMRC. As a taxpayer I don't want HMRC fucked. I want HMRC to be a healthy and strong tax collecting organisation that performs a vital service for this country. You've clearly got issues with it as an organisation and that's fine. I hope you continue to raise your concerns and I hope HMRC works to address them. What I am saying is that childish slogans like 'fuck hmrc' are unhelpful because they could potentially discourage tax paying across the wider community. As a concerned citizen I don't want that because I want the country to be well funded.Either that or I didn't focus on those three words - my attention being grabbed by the 'fuck hmrc' line. So what might this fucking of HMRC actually look like then? Will the citizens, of the UK actually be any better for it?
He insisted before clicking "continue" on each of the pages on screaming "fuck the queen."5 -
Well that escalated quite quickly, I never thought a thread on the Taxman could provide such late afternoon entertainment! 😉
ps hope you get your situation resolved soon Muttley1 -
Ahh, good old HMRC. The stories I could tell from back in the day ..... if only I hadn't signed the official secrets act!
Great memories of just making things up as you went along, bumbling your way through the day and when "working late" meant being at your desk past 4pm!
The pay wasn't great but despite that over half the people there at my time were absolutely stealing a living.
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Especially you1
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Ah, go on then, just the one story then, seeing as you asked nicely.
There was a pub round the corner from the office which was always full of people from work, a right dive but cheap booze - a civil servants dream. The guvnor there was on first name terms with about a third of the office and there would be regular lock-ins (not HMRC's bag, so "fine") plus a couple of "entertainment only" poker machines which they would always pay-out on behind the bar and shelves full of duty free booze the guvnor had brought back by the vanload from one of his regular trips to France (both firmly in HMRC's bag!)
I pointed this out to one of my mates during one particular lock-in he said, "yeah, but who you gonna tell?" and nodded over my shoulder. When I looked round there's the main man for the whole region sat in the corner off his tits tucking into a large duty free scotch !
Oh and the same bloke also had something like £5-6k nicked out of his suit jacket whilst it was over his chair in the office. He went mental about it, until someone asked him why he had so much cash in the office. Turns out he was having some building work done and had taken it out to pay the builder - cash in hand. Couldn't make it up.
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cafcpolo said:Huskaris said:cafc999 said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?3 -
Chaz Hill said:I’ll pass on the good wishes to my son who has worked for HMRC for the last couple of years
Totally dedicated to the task and working hard to ensure the country has the tax revenue needed to support the services we all need on a daily basis.1 -
carly burn said:Anyone had any luck trying to get through on their online chat facility?
I tried on Tuesday Wednesday Thursday and Friday and not a sniff!
It's like trying to get tickets for Glastonbury.
Eventually got through to a nice lady who sort of helped me out, she was in her front room in Bradford.1 -
CharltonKerry said:The unofficial HMRC scammers are trying another way to get you, this time a very threatening phone call, reference a fraud case against you, apparently if you don’t press 1 you will be arrested immediately, my call was from a mobile phone which didn’t add authenticity to the call. Mans voice very authoritative and for a second had me wondering, then laughing.
We laughed at at him and said go on then do your worst, he put the phone down.
But these scammers do get some unfortunate people to bite.1 -
Chippycafc said:cafcpolo said:Huskaris said:cafc999 said:Stig said:kentaddick said:SuedeAdidas said:kentaddick said:Best money I’ve ever spent is getting an accountant, even a cheap one that is completely straight edged - you don’t have to talk to any of the bastards at hmrc. Basically the only time as a grown man I’ve come off the phone and burst into tears was on a phone call to them. Twats. Pay your taxes folks, but also try and fuck them (legally) every chance you can.
I remember when I owed several thousands in tax and didn't have the funds to pay them all in one go . I managed to get hold of the help line number and despite asking them to set up a repayment plan all I got told, and in no uncertain terms was that I had to pay up staright away! So much for for the help eh?
Never a year went by when either I owed them some money from the previous year or they me.
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