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Vasectomies

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  • So after having the old chop, how long was it before you are ‘back in operation’’ under the covers, shall we say?
  • So after having the old chop, how long was it before you are ‘back in operation’’ under the covers, shall we say?

    I gave it a week!

    Thankfully just had the news that my second one has worked....officially ‘firing blanks’ now
  • So after having the old chop, how long was it before you are ‘back in operation’’ under the covers, shall we say?

    I had to 'empty myself' 20 times, before another sample was provided to them.
    They could then confirm that the hot water supply had been turned off permanently.
  • Ha ha brilliant mate :-)
  • So after having the old chop, how long was it before you are ‘back in operation’’ under the covers, shall we say?

    Had mine on a Thursday, Friday off and back to work on light duties Monday. My sack swelled to the size of a pelican tennis ball but no problems other than that.

    Funniest thing was the GP appointment to request the procedure, I walked into the room and there was a young, most attractive female GP I've ever seen.
  • A lot of gallows humour on this thread.
    I'm very certain in my own mind that having your gonads ripped open and then burnt with an iron is nothing short of medieval torture. It must hurt.

  • RodneyCharltonTrotta - I can recommend getting it done here...
    https://www.mariestopes.org.uk/other-services/vasectomy/
    It's a doddle and nothing to worry about. In and out in twenty minutes and you will be unlucky if you feel much more than a bit of discomfort for a day or two and until the small wound heals.
  • RodneyCharltonTrotta - I can recommend getting it done here...
    https://www.mariestopes.org.uk/other-services/vasectomy/
    It's a doddle and nothing to worry about. In and out in twenty minutes and you will be unlucky if you feel much more than a bit of discomfort for a day or two and until the small wound heals.

    Thanks very much mate. Gonna try gp again for financial reasons but will likely give these a go if can't go NHS route.

    Noticed an advert for them in the gents at the valley on Saturday funnily enough so must be a sign!
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  • I see what you did there Rodders 0-0 firing blanks, very good :-)
  • RedChaser said:

    I see what you did there Rodders 0-0 firing blanks, very good :-)

    Ha! :-)
  • RodneyCharltonTrotta - I can recommend getting it done here...
    https://www.mariestopes.org.uk/other-services/vasectomy/
    It's a doddle and nothing to worry about. In and out in twenty minutes and you will be unlucky if you feel much more than a bit of discomfort for a day or two and until the small wound heals.

    100% this.
  • Macronate said:

    I wouldn’t believe the nurse mate, if your testicles haven’t returned yet, they’re never coming back.

    “Mailing them out” (it’s too late now) is the medical term for your wife sitting on a stool in front of you, dressed in a milk maid’s outfit, grabbing the ends of your sack and pulling at it in an up and down motion with her hands, whilst mooing.

    The only option left open to you is to ‘transition’ otherwise you’re going to look ridiculous for the rest of your life.

    Good advice mate, will look into it :-)
  • edited January 2019
    I've heard (not herd) of this.
    I believe if you press gently above where your balls are you can gently "push" / guide them back down.
    Good luck.
  • I wouldn’t worry about them now, the damage is done and permanent.
  • All done Friday. Testicles have retreated into my lower abdomen like a couple of nervous kittens hiding behind a settee and are refusing to budge with no amount of coaxing seemingly solving the issue. Because the surgeon has bandaged the scrotum so tightly I can't manoeuvre them back in place as it's akin to trying to get your tent back into it's tent bag after a 4 day bender at Glastonbury whilst still pissed.

    Nurse said this might happen and if that's the case then to "milk them out" whatever the feck that means. Not gonna force the issue as will take the bandages off tonight as will be 48 hours since the op and hopefully they'll slot back down nicely assuming that my ball bag hasn't turned black and immediately fall off due to the restricted blood supply the unnecessarily tight tourniquet that was applied.

    Missus cleared off for the weekend with the children to allow me to recuperate but having the house to myself for 2 whole days but not being able to fully enjoy the privacy and internet has been a challenge and rocked me to my very core.


    Haven't noticed any changes in my manhood yet but still early days. Right, off now as Real Housewives is on and I want to get down to Laura Ashleys for a lovely pair of patterned drapes I've spotted that will will set off the living room.

    Cheers again for all the advice and insight. It was the bollocks.

    A bit Tea Bagging should cure that.
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  • Why is your scrotum bandaged?

    When I had mine done I walked out the clinic and drove home, the only difference being the numbness from the anesthetic. Not a bandage or plaster in sight.
  • Why is your scrotum bandaged?

    When I had mine done I walked out the clinic and drove home, the only difference being the numbness from the anesthetic. Not a bandage or plaster in sight.

    No idea. Taken off now and all in order.
  • I was worried this thread was going to be about Krystian Bielik and I was thinking "Christ, that's a bit premature, innit?"

    Glad all is well RCT.
  • SDAddick said:

    I was worried this thread was going to be about Krystian Bielik and I was thinking "Christ, that's a bit premature, innit?"

    Glad all is well RCT.

    Thanks mate
  • I read that if you hold some bacon** under your ballbag - it will coax your Jacobs back down.

    ** Replace bacon with lettuce if you are a regular on the Vegan thread
  • My balls weren’t bandaged either! Had my letter on Friday to say that my post-op samples are clear, officially a Jaffa!
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