@PragueAddick - Richard so very sorry to hear about the passing of your mum, perhaps it was as you say, your mum saying sod this I'm off. I hope you and your family can take strength from each other and it was nice that you could all be together at the end. RIP to your mum and condolences to you and your family. God bless you all.
Condolences Richard, Your posting's brought back a lot of memories of my late mother, who just wanted a bit of dignity, and company in her remaining days. Not alway's easy or possible.
So sorry to hear that sad news Richard. Having lost both my parents at a relatively young age I had nothing to offer on your original question, but what came shining through was your love and care for your dear mum.
Many condolences Richard, to you and your family. I am sorry that all of you have to face this trouble, but it is testament to you all that you had made no assumptions and were thinking about the longer term. i am sure your mum would be proud of you all.
Sincere condolences to you and the family, Richard. A blessing that you could all be there to have a last few moments with your mum. May she rest in peace. Of course you know where to turn should you wish to hold a humanist ceremony as a send-off. Take care x
Only just caught up with this thread & was greatly saddened by the news of your dear Mum's passing.
So pleased to hear that you made it to her bedside in time - My Mum suffered a sudden heart attack in her Care Home in Greenhithe nearly 3 years ago and sadly we didn't get there until she had gone.
Sorry for your loss Richard, and condolences to you and the rest of the family. Ironically, we had a similar story with my Nan when she died a couple of years ago - there'd been a lot of to-ing and fro-ing between the discharge team at QEH and Greenwich social services about the most appropriate care package for her, and then she went and died on the day they'd finally got the discharge meeting organised.
The mother in law is getting worse and family care plus 4 daily carer visits isn't sufficient, as she is still falling if left for even a couple of hours.
So I'm looking at care homes v live- in- care.
Does anyone have experience of live- in-care ie 24 hour care in your own home ?
Also I've looked into NHS continuing care. Does anyone have experience in this area ?
I did look into 24hr at home care for my father, although on the face of it, it seemed to have potential, as my father had dementia the cost would have been prohibitive (due to the fact that they charged a lot of additional over night if awoken etc which they would have with my father and his condition). I think I roughly worked out would be about 60k per annum v's 47k in a home and at the stage he was he didn't know his own home anyway and a friend of mine previously had problems of staff sickness etc meaning often at last minute someone I the family would have to drop everything to cover.
As for continuing care, I applied a couple of times for my late father but apparently his needs weren't enough. Call me suspicious but as they previously knew his income and savings etc they always seemed to score him much lower than they should have so he just came out above the threshold. This was a man with no memory, wore nappies, couldn't dress himself, couldn't eat or drink unless told to and helped with, could not communicate at all, suffered with a number of other medical conditions (7 different pills a day, twice a day for some) etc...... I could have gone the legal route to challenge it which these days seems the only way most of the time you can get it.
There are private social workers who may be able to help advise you in terms of continuing care if you feel things are not being considered correctly. My father in law's health deteriorated significantly which led to him passing away in December. He had to go to hospital, but current home no longer wanted him and we had to desperately find somewhere that could meet his needs. Our priority was to find the right place for him but it was clear that the sector is only led by money. A nurse suggested he would be entitled to continuing care but nobody else did. We didn't get down to that, our aim was to quickly find him the best home we could (he was trapped in hospital) and not worry about costs. I was sickened by the lack of respect this country has for its old, but I haven't gone into all the details here! The problem is the authorities will try to avoid anything that costs them.
Ultimately, the guy never claimed in his life, fought for this country in the war and I hate to think what would have happened to him without my wife and I fighting for the best for him and ensuring we paid for it too.
NHS Continuing Care is extremely difficult to get. My Dad was in a similar situation to that of @Rob7Lee's father and we were also told that Dad didn't qualify.
Kent Social Services were dreadful to deal with and the final care bill has still not been settled and dad died in April 2017. Whilst Dad was alive, they cancelled visits without telling us and we only found out through his care home. Emails and phone calls went unanswered
My sister queried the final bill and months later the first thing she received was a letter from KCC's debt recovery department. She emailed them back with further questions last November and to date she has heard nothing from them.
They are money orientated, rather than being honest. It is all of them. It is driven, not by them being bad people, but by the fact local authorities don't have any money! That is why people in this situation should consider a private social worker. Social Services will not steer you in the right, honest direction, but the direction that costs them little or nothing! A private social worker will know the rules and sadly, they are too complex for any normal person to take the council on without assistance.
Comments
RIP to your Mum and my condolences to you all.
Very sad to read, but at the very end the dear lady was permitted a fitting and dignified departure that you were all allowed to share. R.I.P.
(Edit....sending this from a bedside of a geriatric ward in St. Peter's Hospital, Chertsey. We have a season ticket. ...)
However, you will find a lot of things trigger happy memories of her.
One for my Mum is burnt toast.
Sincere condolences to you and your family.
RIP Mrs Hunt.
So glad you were with your mother when she slipped away.
I am sorry that all of you have to face this trouble, but it is testament to you all that you had made no assumptions and were thinking about the longer term. i am sure your mum would be proud of you all.
So pleased to hear that you made it to her bedside in time - My Mum suffered a sudden heart attack in her Care Home in Greenhithe nearly 3 years ago and sadly we didn't get there until she had gone.
Sleep tight, lovely lady.
So I'm looking at care homes v live- in- care.
Does anyone have experience of live- in-care ie 24 hour care in your own home ?
Also I've looked into NHS continuing care. Does anyone have experience in this area ?
Thanks.
I did look into 24hr at home care for my father, although on the face of it, it seemed to have potential, as my father had dementia the cost would have been prohibitive (due to the fact that they charged a lot of additional over night if awoken etc which they would have with my father and his condition). I think I roughly worked out would be about 60k per annum v's 47k in a home and at the stage he was he didn't know his own home anyway and a friend of mine previously had problems of staff sickness etc meaning often at last minute someone I the family would have to drop everything to cover.
As for continuing care, I applied a couple of times for my late father but apparently his needs weren't enough. Call me suspicious but as they previously knew his income and savings etc they always seemed to score him much lower than they should have so he just came out above the threshold. This was a man with no memory, wore nappies, couldn't dress himself, couldn't eat or drink unless told to and helped with, could not communicate at all, suffered with a number of other medical conditions (7 different pills a day, twice a day for some) etc...... I could have gone the legal route to challenge it which these days seems the only way most of the time you can get it.
More information here. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/national-framework-for-nhs-continuing-healthcare-and-nhs-funded-nursing-care
Good luck.
Ultimately, the guy never claimed in his life, fought for this country in the war and I hate to think what would have happened to him without my wife and I fighting for the best for him and ensuring we paid for it too.
Kent Social Services were dreadful to deal with and the final care bill has still not been settled and dad died in April 2017. Whilst Dad was alive, they cancelled visits without telling us and we only found out through his care home. Emails and phone calls went unanswered
My sister queried the final bill and months later the first thing she received was a letter from KCC's debt recovery department. She emailed them back with further questions last November and to date she has heard nothing from them.