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Have your kids ever dropped you in it

It was a while ago and my son was about seven years old. We were playing Stoke just before Xmas and it was one of his first games. We had bought him a table football set and all was going well until he burst into a refrain of " you dirty northern bastards". His mum said right, he is not going with you to football again. I wanted to tell her that he did have a point, but I thought that was not the wisest course of action in the world. It could have been so much worse, I cringed to think what he could have said!
He still goes, so this post does have a happy ending.
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Comments

  • That's very funny!!
    How old was he then?
  • Curb_It said:

    That's very funny!!
    How old was he then?

    About seven. It took a lot of hard negotiating afterwards I tell you.

  • 27

    Ha Ha like it!
  • 27

    27? Was it riscardo?
  • After a day with a lot of lifers on the coach/in the pub on the CLIT trip to Derby my then 9 year old asked "Mum, is wanker a swear word?"

  • My 10 year thinks the Addams family song is funny and has sung it to his mum (who didn't get it at all)
  • Driving with my mum and then 6 year old son, we got cut up by a post office van.

    A little voice shouts from the back "Postman Pratt"
  • My daughter, just before her 2nd birthday, was playing happily in the play room with one of them wooden xylophone things with her proud Nan and Grandad watching...and for some reason it didnt do what she wanted it to do...she pushed it away in disgust and said "f*cking b*stard", in almost perfect context.

    Cue one of the biggest lectures I've ever had from my Mum. Still to this day, I've not sworn in front of my daughter and still dont know where she picked it up from but she obviously heard me say it at some point.

    Then the ex-wife came in and my daughter repeated it. The ex didnt speak to me for a week and divorced me 4 months later.
  • JohnBoyUK said:

    My daughter, just before her 2nd birthday, was playing happily in the play room with one of them wooden xylophone things with her proud Nan and Grandad watching...and for some reason it didnt do what she wanted it to do...she pushed it away in disgust and said "f*cking b*stard", in almost perfect context.

    Cue one of the biggest lectures I've ever had from my Mum. Still to this day, I've not sworn in front of my daughter and still dont know where she picked it up from but she obviously heard me say it at some point.

    Then the ex-wife came in and my daughter repeated it. The ex didnt speak to me for a week and divorced me 4 months later.

    Christ. That was expensive!
    Kids eh.

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  • I was recently reminded that when I was 4 I explained a bruise on my leg at school as where my mum hit me. She's never laid a finger on me... Guess I thought it was funny at the time. In hindsight, that could've backfired badly. Just had to remind myself that I was 4!
  • Guy at work was driving with his wife, kid and mother in law. They were playing i spy and using colours. The kid said i spy something begining with yellow and was inside the car. After trying for ages they gave up and the kid said "nanny's teeth"

    My mate said it was all he could do to not crash the car
  • Picture the scene, it's Saturday night , your on your way back from a famous club record away win, feeling all warm and happy inside.

    You get to London Bridge train station and encounter loads and I mean loads of intimidating Millwall fans, your standing on the platform surrounded by them , and try to keep a low profile when your son turns to you and says ' what are they saying on Charlton Life Dad' the ground could have opened up.
  • JohnBoyUK said:

    My daughter, just before her 2nd birthday, was playing happily in the play room with one of them wooden xylophone things with her proud Nan and Grandad watching...and for some reason it didnt do what she wanted it to do...she pushed it away in disgust and said "f*cking b*stard", in almost perfect context.

    Cue one of the biggest lectures I've ever had from my Mum. Still to this day, I've not sworn in front of my daughter and still dont know where she picked it up from but she obviously heard me say it at some point.

    Then the ex-wife came in and my daughter repeated it. The ex didnt speak to me for a week and divorced me 4 months later.

    Christ. That was expensive!
    Kids eh.

    Hmm, only one of many things she listed...
  • Guy at work was driving with his wife, kid and mother in law. They were playing i spy and using colours. The kid said i spy something begining with yellow and was inside the car. After trying for ages they gave up and the kid said "nanny's teeth"

    My mate said it was all he could do to not crash the car

    I have just cringed big time at that!
  • Not dropped me in it but my mum n dad, years ago when I was about 10 my brother 8 we were staying at the caravan with my aunt and cousin, at the time my aunt was quite a bit overweight. My brother did something and my aunt had a real go at him, to which he replied " your fat and horrible and my mum and dad think so too"
  • When my eldest son was little, he asked a rather, er, 'plain' looking woman if she was a man. She wasn't too happy, to be honest.
  • Best one for me was when my joe was about 4 or 5 and we were getting the train over from nth to Sth to go to the valley and whilst on the tube from kings x to London bridge about 4 millwall go on and was standing near us

    Joe said daddy who is that team I said that's millwall he said they are rubbish dad ain't they to which I burst out laughing and said yes mate they are

    1 of them got a bit upset with my response and wanted a pop and said a few bits

    His mates told him he was being a div and to turn it in and apologised as he was being a div

    He also had heard people on the way to arsenal one year singing Ashley cole is a chelsea batty boy

    And on the tube home started singing it and there was a tube full of Chelsea who saw the funny side fortunately
  • Just remembered that when I was at Welling on Saturday with my 4 year old she insisted on sitting at the front. Just after they scored their 3rd, a Weston player miss controlled, the ball ran off just in front of us and he said "f*** it" in a loud voice. After a few light hearted comments from the Welling fans, she turned round to me and asked "what did that man say daddy" I tried to shrug it off and told her that he hadn't kicked the ball well and was annoyed. "But what did he say" she asked again. I told her that I didn't hear him (luckily she knows my hearing is poor so is used to it)

    After thinking about it, she said "Daddy you're like Nanny aren't you" I asked her what she meant. She replied "Nanny can't hear very well either"

    The people sitting near me were cracking up. Luckily she didn't bring it up when I got home.
  • Round the in laws for sunday lunch a few years back. Father in law asks my son to sing a football song. George, 7 at the time launches into George Costa Whoaoh, gets to the fourth line and I expect him to sing "He effing hates Millwall". He didn't! Cue roaring laughter from father in law, glare from mother in law, punch to the side of the head from the Mrs.
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  • pettgra said:

    It was a while ago and my son was about seven years old. We were playing Stoke just before Xmas and it was one of his first games. We had bought him a table football set and all was going well until he burst into a refrain of " you dirty northern bastards". His mum said right, he is not going with you to football again. I wanted to tell her that he did have a point, but I thought that was not the wisest course of action in the world. It could have been so much worse, I cringed to think what he could have said!
    He still goes, so this post does have a happy ending.

    table football must bring out the worst in kids.
    when i was about 5 or 6 i got one for xmas. boxing day i took on my dad and uncle and as i was beating them they decided to sneakily hold the bar of my goalie that poked through their side. after i had let a couple of feable goals in, i noticed what they were doing.
    apparently yelling 'LEAVE MY F@3KING GOALKEEPER ALONE' isn't how i should've dealt with it.
  • I've been taking my grandson this season, we were around my son's house the other day and in the other room the grandson was getting a bit of a rollicking (nothing too bad) from his mum, when all of a sudden he sang at her
    ''sit down shut up'', I was pissing myself, and then I heard the shout of ''Grandad this is all your fault!''.

    I keep telling him what he hears at football stays at football, but it did make me laugh!
  • Lots of good stories coming in. all funny.

    Pity Mehmets daughter going to Welling. Weather was crud on Saturday.
  • pettgra said:

    It was a while ago and my son was about seven years old. We were playing Stoke just before Xmas and it was one of his first games. We had bought him a table football set and all was going well until he burst into a refrain of " you dirty northern bastards". His mum said right, he is not going with you to football again. I wanted to tell her that he did have a point, but I thought that was not the wisest course of action in the world. It could have been so much worse, I cringed to think what he could have said!
    He still goes, so this post does have a happy ending.

    table football must bring out the worst in kids.
    when i was about 5 or 6 i got one for xmas. boxing day i took on my dad and uncle and as i was beating them they decided to sneakily hold the bar of my goalie that poked through their side. after i had let a couple of feable goals in, i noticed what they were doing.
    apparently yelling 'LEAVE MY F@3KING GOALKEEPER ALONE' isn't how i should've dealt with it.
    Very funny. That has made me chuckle. That's the way to shut them up!

  • First time I used the F word in front of my parents: we were driving out of Blackburn after the game where Jimmy Giles has been sent off. We were pretty upset because we saw a few Blackburn fans spit at him as he went through the tunnel and as far as I remember we lost the game.
    Some of their fans saw my colours in the car and starting shouting "Dirty Southern Bastards" at us, to which I rolled down the car window and shouted "F@£K OFF". My Mum disapproved and my Dad told me to wind the car window back up, but I could swear he had a big smile on his face. I was about 12 years old I reckon.
    Happy Days
  • How about: arriving at Charlton station, pre-match, i.e. crowded train. 8/9-year-old daughter asks: "Daddy, what's an orgasm"?
  • I remember my sister dropping my Dad in it many years ago. We had a bit of a cheeky clear out of toys and my old man decided to give some of the stuff to his mate who had come across some hard times.

    Anyway, we all went round his gaff to 'donate' a right old mixture of old and new for his kids. My sister, bless her, then decided to tell him that 'we are giving these toys to you because my Dad said you are poor'! Priceless.
  • Kilarahales you have me looking like a mentalist on the train trying to hold laughter in which has turned into weeping.

    They are al good mind you but that one is brilliant.
  • Years ago, I was having a pee in the toilets at The Bugle after a pre-match pint. My eight-year-old waited by the door and suddenly noticed the condom machine: "What's this, Dad?"

    I performed my complacently liberal duty and told him.

    "Hmm," he said. "Why are there all these flavours?"

    Other bloke in toilet stifles a splutter. "Good luck, mate," he says as he leaves.
  • How about: arriving at Charlton station, pre-match, i.e. crowded train. 8/9-year-old daughter asks: "Daddy, what's an orgasm"?

    Wow... what did you say?!
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