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Stupid Things People Say

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    EastStandEastStand
    At a barbecue a mate once asked 'what does BBQ stand for?'..
    A mate of mine asked that once too!
    Though it could be the same guy.
    Charlton fan, name begins with J?
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    EastStandEastStand
    I have also had:

    "Is an owl a bird? You know, because they do that head spin stuff"

    "Do parrots breathe oxygen?" (justification for that question being that they are brightly coloured like plants, and plants don't breathe oxygen)

    "These are the best pears you will ever taste, except I hate pears"
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    johnny73johnny73
    I once spent half an hour in a photography shop in rome trying to explain in english that I wanted to buy four rolls of film. It was like the worst performance of 'give us a clue' ever given. Eventually my brain kicked in and I pointed to the film and held up four fingers. They said 'quattro' and I replied 'yeah quattro'!

    Until I was 15 I thought laurence olivier was pronounced laurence oliver!
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    StigStig
    My mother in law playing Trivial Pursuit:

    Q: Who has won the most Liverpool-Everton derby matches?
    A: Derby

    Q: Name Bobby Charlton's brother?
    A: Bobby Moore
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    LonelyNorthernAddickLonelyNorthernAddick


    Also a couple of weeks ago she asked me if its possible to 'grow shorter'


    Bless her
    Actually Dizzle in your old age your spine compacts or something and you lose some of your height, so in a way her question wasn't that stupid.

    Also, when my gf's scoliosis started to get worse she got smaller because her spine was becoming more curved.
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    RedskinRedskin
    I heard a woman at the bus stop at Woolwich Arsenal the other day directions to somewhere, to which the American lady replied, "I'm sorry i dont know I only moved here to Greenwich yesterday"
    ?
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    SuedeAdidasSuedeAdidas
    "cheap at half the price"

    My brother in-law also asked for un-rindless bacon in the supermarket once.
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    GreenWithEnvyGreenWithEnvy
    Heard on 5Live this morning reporting on the John Terry case but this is from the Telgraph:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/chelsea/9395243/John-Terry-racism-trial-Chelsea-captain-only-too-pleased-to-follow-orders-in-courtroom-gaffe.html

    What a thick tw@t!

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    nth_london_addicknth_london_addick
    The best I heard from my Missus was after a piece on the news about a tornado that had devastated an American town

    The wife said

    that's terrible all those homes lost and people killed who do you think sent it

    Sent what I said

    The tornado


    What are you on about

    What country sent the tornado

    Eh I dont get it wtf are you on about

    A tornado is a plane used in war she said


    I fell on the floor and couldn't stop laughing it was then she realised that it was a tornado not a fighter jet



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    maddferrettmaddferrett
    I know somebody that once said he liked this new aftershave called Toilet Water.
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    iaitchiaitch
    In a curry house one night, the bloke on the next table askes the waiter 'Where you from?'.

    'Bangladesh' replies the waiter.

    Bloke replies 'India, yeah I've been there'.
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    StigStig
    My friend's sister talking to a Japanese exchange student at a party, "Do you have karaoke in Japan"?
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    O-Randy-HuntO-Randy-Hunt
    Playing family fortunes at Xmas.

    Name a famous Paul.

    Gasgoine maybe, McCartney.

    Brothers bird says: Elton Johns swimming pool.

    Unbelievable Paul !!!
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    tom_ktom_k
    My friend asked a Norwegian girl on holiday " Do you have rocks in Norway?"
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    iaitchiaitch
    Tom-k

    Was it a successful chat up line?
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    Im_Jordans_CousinIm_Jordans_Cousin
    Following a documentary on paedophiles, my sister (probably 19 at the time) stated....

    'Who is this guy, he deserves to be hung by the balls'

    We asked her what what guy.

    'Peter Villier'
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    BIG_ROBBIG_ROB
    edited July 2012
    Playing family fortunes at Xmas.

    Name a famous Paul.

    Gasgoine maybe, McCartney.

    Brothers bird says: Elton Johns swimming pool.

    Unbelievable Paul !!!
    Quality!
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    tom_ktom_k
    Tom-k

    Was it a successful chat up line?
    Ha, no he did'nt manage to seduce her with that one

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    DizzleDizzle


    Also a couple of weeks ago she asked me if its possible to 'grow shorter'


    Bless her
    Actually Dizzle in your old age your spine compacts or something and you lose some of your height, so in a way her question wasn't that stupid.

    Also, when my gf's scoliosis started to get worse she got smaller because her spine was becoming more curved.
    I can gurantee you that she did not mean that at all! She thought she had lost an inch in height, and shes 23 with no back problems
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    MrOneLungMrOneLung
    edited July 2012
    My friend asked a Norwegian girl on holiday " Do you have rocks in Norway?"
    crack addict eh?

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    GreenieGreenie
    Kind of my own fault this one.
    Back in the day, my ex wife asked what is the first name of Schmeichel the ManU keeper.
    We told her it was Michael, I assume she still thinks his name is Michael Schmeichel.
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    thai malaysia addickthai malaysia addick
    I once told someone that I work in software. "Do you know software is?" asked someone to their mother. "Yes, of course, I do", she replied "cushions, toys and things like that".
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    Afternoon DelightAfternoon Delight
    edited July 2012
    Once overheard:

    "What does Postie Dave do for a job?"
    "Oh, I've no idea mate"

    and in a cinema during The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film:

    "Are they real Turtles or people dressed up as Turtles?"
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