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Fifty shades of shite

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  • The words mummy porn put me off ever reading it.
    Yeah yeah. Everyone knows you're reading inside the covers of 'The Iliad'.
    No, honest. The words mummy put me off. Anyway books like this have been around for ages. I just wonder what made this take off. I've read that the sale of soft porn literature has rocketed since the invention of the kindle. So have a nose on what the person next to you is reading.


    Wish you told me before I bought my wife a Kindle for her birthday yesterday

    : - )
  • edited July 2012
    Well let us know how that fist up your.backside goes Dazzler !

    Curb It, straight forward repackaging coupled with the popularity of edevices such as Kindle, has helped break the taboo with it.

    Given the rising popularity of sites such as Literotica over the last ten years, it was always going to happen at some point.

    Just gutted I never thought.of it.first !
    So I dont have to hide my reading material anymore? Result... well maybe from my Dad perhaps.



  • Clit Lit

  • Reminds me of the readers letters you used to get in certain mags - ' I had always fancied the 'just turned 18 year old' twins who worked in the local newsagents, but never thought they would be interested in someone like me. Imagine my surprise one day when I popped into the shop blah blah blah...'

    If you look at the best seller lists on Kindle it is full of erotic stories.
    The women cant get enough of it on the way to work.
  • ONE FOR THE US FELLAS

    AMERICAN PHYSCO 100 TIMES BETTER THEN THE FILM!!

    READ IT!!
  • 50 shades of Chav.

    "As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my vel...our tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight." "It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he... called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time." "Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange. As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you" "As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same." "My mum had told me to leave Dwayne many times due to the violence but I knew he loved me as he always took his rings off before he hit me. Tonight though he was in a foul mood, I had ****** his tea up after failing to de-frost his prawn ring I had nicked from farm foods. He picked up the power lead from my kids mega drive and whipped it across my doughy ****. It stung but I liked it. I shouted again again so he carried on. I thought my shell suit would rip into a million pieces. As I looked over my shoulder I saw his Weetabix toothed smile. He even had a semi on which rare as the crack normally played havoc with his erections
  • Woman at work showed me a chapter. Something about a bird with chrome balls up her whatsit.
  • i dont find it very practical at all.

    impossible to turn the pages while cocks in hand and a thumb up the bum.
  • Poorly written porn. There are a lot better books for female porn.

    It follows the likes of Dan Brown, poorly written shite that appeals to the masses who don't read books.
  • Prefer the film where the housewife can't afford to pay the plumber...
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  • CAFCCrazy - brilliant!
  • Poorly written porn. There are a lot better books for female porn.

    It follows the likes of Dan Brown, poorly written shite that appeals to the masses who don't read books.
    Except that if they are reading this and Dan Brown then they are reading books.

    Is reading meant to be the preserve of just a small elite? Or must they only be allowed to read "worthy" titles.

    Wouldn't be my first choice but if people want to read it let them.




  • Anyone can write a soft porn book. If the missus gets it, i am nipping down the local and buying a copy of Razzle.
  • I bought the trilogy for the missus. £20 it cost me, to give her the same thrill I get for free on RedTube.
  • Poorly written porn. There are a lot better books for female porn.

    It follows the likes of Dan Brown, poorly written shite that appeals to the masses who don't read books.
    Except that if they are reading this and Dan Brown then they are reading books.

    Is reading meant to be the preserve of just a small elite? Or must they only be allowed to read "worthy" titles.

    Wouldn't be my first choice but if people want to read it let them.




    I'm hardly standing at the bookshop stopping people reading it, and I didn't imply they shouldn't reading it, just that there are much better books out there. This and Dan Brown are quite poorly written novels and therefore they are not going to encourage people to read other books.

    The same with films, there are a lot of really great low budget films out there but most people see Hollywood blockbusters as they are the films they hear about. And because they have broken through the public psyche there is an assumption that these are the best of the best, when often they are not.

    Reading is for everyone and should inspire them. I don't think fifty shades will inspire anyone. Well it might inspire then to try bondage...
  • This could be the right moment for me to dust of and self publish my magnum erotic opus Fisty McRomp and the Kingdom of Slags. Do any Charlton fans have experience of self publishing? It is mostly pictures, if that makes any difference.
  • 50 Shades of Muttley will beat 50 shades of Dave anyday when it is complete. It will cover the DICK Dastardly years and just what I had to do for some of those medals!!!
  • edited July 2012
    Down with this sort of thing.
  • Down with this sort of thing.

    careful now
  • I look forward to the day when watching every video on Redtube becomes an Olympic event.
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  • This could be the right moment for me to dust of and self publish my magnum erotic opus Fisty McRomp and the Kingdom of Slags. Do any Charlton fans have experience of self publishing? It is mostly pictures, if that makes any difference.
    You can send it to me, not that I have any publishing experience but I'd love to read it.
  • Poorly written porn. There are a lot better books for female porn.

    It follows the likes of Dan Brown, poorly written shite that appeals to the masses who don't read books.
    Popularity has never equated to quality though - if the masses like it, so be it.
    They are not claiming it to be Great Expectations.

  • Uninterestingly the tie on the book cover is a brooks brothers tie which they didn’t ask to use and brooks brothers are considering legal action as they don’t want to be associated with people sticking things up there bottoms while a gimp frantically pulls himself round the room as they have dressed many US presidents over the years.
  • Uninterestingly the tie on the book cover is a brooks brothers tie which they didn’t ask to use and brooks brothers are considering legal action as they don’t want to be associated with people sticking things up there bottoms while a gimp frantically pulls himself round the room as they have dressed many US presidents over the years.
    Including Bill Clinton?! I bet he could write a book to keep the mummies happy!
  • Poorly written porn. There are a lot better books for female porn.

    It follows the likes of Dan Brown, poorly written shite that appeals to the masses who don't read books.
    Popularity has never equated to quality though - if the masses like it, so be it.
    They are not claiming it to be Great Expectations.

    Dickens' novels were massive best sellers in their day though.
  • There is no fisting in the book.

    it's not as taboo as some may be lead to believe.
    The book or fisting?
  • i dont find it very practical at all.

    impossible to turn the pages while cocks in hand and a thumb up the bum.
    Top stuff VG. My wife asked what I was laughing at. :-(

  • This thread is hilarious - especially CAFCcrazy's excerpts.....I can't wait until you publish the chav trilogy!
  • More of a fister than fingerer

    That's where the book has gone wrong must've been wrote by a bint

    8)
  • Took delivery of all 3 yesterday from Sainsbury's Entertainment for £9.99.

    Had a quick flick through but very disappointed

    Thought I'd find loads of tips for colouring my hair

    Now I'm a deep shade of pink......
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