on the first date with the girl im seeing at the moment, the conversation somehow came onto betting and that her nan earns loads of money from betting as she has a special trick.
the trick.....her nan gets her friend in Germany to ring through the results and then because we are an hour behind, she knows the scores and lumps loads of money on.
on the first date with the girl im seeing at the moment, the conversation somehow came onto betting and that her nan earns loads of money from betting as she has a special trick.
the trick.....her nan gets her friend in Germany to ring through the results and then because we are an hour behind, she knows the scores and lumps loads of money on.
Why after 10 minutes of looking for something and her denying she has moved it, Does she then get up from whatever Yank cop show drivel she is watching, let out a sigh and then pull it out from she moved it to. Why could you not just tell me where it was in the first place.
And i will tidy up once the DIY is done. If you do not want to be retreiving the Hoover from the middle of the front garden do not give me cause to throw it from the door.
Bexley Dan, I'll probably be in the club some time after 9pm tomorrow night...
Hardly ever seem to get down there these days.
good man - seems to have been an erosion of men's rights to have a few beers - blokes having to justify themselves - it should be a ring fenced event. You cannot put a price on socialising, although my wife tries to every weekend.
Have a similar scenario to Henry above other than it's me asking where something is and her being deliberately vague to annoy the b******x out of me until i start shouting and she gets the hump - normally happens at the weekend when having the hump seems to suit her.
My misses was a Chelsea supporter for 20 odd years and knows as much about football and what's going on in the leagues if not more than me. She got very dissolusioned after Ambromrvich took over and started splashing cash and sort of lost interest. When Chelsea spent 50 million on Torres it was the last straw. Then she saw how excited i was when SCP came in (whom she has a lot of respect for) and she has always been a bit jealous of my pride in Charltons off field achievements, she asked a few weeks later.
"Darling, do you mind if i follow Charlton from now on"
"Of course not" said I "We are your kind of club after all"
Then we lost 11 on the bounce.
Is she still hanging in there or have you since banned her?
Since I bought her the new home strip we havn't lost a game. She's Charlton for life now.
In a valiant attempt to convince me she gives a XXXX:
"How are they doing?"
"2 all".
"Oh. I thought they were winning?"
"Yeh. The other team scored 2 goals in the last ten minutes."
Pause.
"Oh, for heavens sake! What are they playing at? (Pause). Well maybe they'll score again in a minute. Is that good one playing? He usually scores doesn't he?"
Comments
Me: Do you know what the capital of Germany is?
Her: obviously...*tuts*.........
Me: Go on then, what is it?
Her: Belgium
True story
Me: Do you know what the capital of Germany is?
Her: obviously...*tuts*.........
Me: Go on then, what is it?
Her: Belgium
True story
You don't really like that do you?
and the old Classic
What do you need one of those for?
Took my wife to her first cricket match a few years ago. I tried to explain some of the finer points but gave up after this exchange:
Me: They need to change the field. This batsman is scoring all his runs on the off-side.
Her: So why doesn't the umpire wave his flag then?
She's not been since......
on the first date with the girl im seeing at the moment, the conversation somehow came onto betting and that her nan earns loads of money from betting as she has a special trick.
the trick.....her nan gets her friend in Germany to ring through the results and then because we are an hour behind, she knows the scores and lumps loads of money on.
i knew from that point she was the one for me.
Me "No, what thing?"
Her "that thing thing"
Me "No idea"
Her " The key ring thing (or some other everyday object that has a very simple to remember proper name)
: - )
Christmas 1998 my missus said to me: "What time does Midnight Mass start?"
Me: "I don't know, maybe you should ring the church?"
She did.
Why after 10 minutes of looking for something and her denying she has moved it, Does she then get up from whatever Yank cop show drivel she is watching, let out a sigh and then pull it out from she moved it to. Why could you not just tell me where it was in the first place.
And i will tidy up once the DIY is done. If you do not want to be retreiving the Hoover from the middle of the front garden do not give me cause to throw it from the door.
I'M GOING FOR A SHIT FFS!!
'It's your fault that the kids speak to me like that'
'Go up that club again today and its divorce'
'When you get a pay rise'
'What about all the jobs around the house that need doing'
'No, not there'
I dont think she thinks roman obama is running Chelsea though
Bexley Dan, I'll probably be in the club some time after 9pm tomorrow night...
Hardly ever seem to get down there these days.
Not my wife this one but it is my favourite dizzy quote of all time.
Overheard in a jewllers in Southend -
Customer- Hi, I'm looking to buy a crucifix and chain.
Young female assistant - Sure, do you want a plain one or one with a little man on?
Have a similar scenario to Henry above other than it's me asking where something is and her being deliberately vague to annoy the b******x out of me until i start shouting and she gets the hump - normally happens at the weekend when having the hump seems to suit her.
Not my wife, but a girl I know:
"I didn't realise pirates were real. I thought they were made up, like dinosaurs."
Beaten only by, "What was Hitler's surname?"
Legend.
"turn the barbecue round!" (whilst smoke was blowing at her)
And upon seeing a fly buzzing around in an aeroplane:
"how do they survive at these altitudes"
her: "oh yeah I'll leave in a min"
Me an hour later on the phone: "where are you?"
her: "I aint left yet"