1. 'Oldham' was an unnamed settlement of the poor, where the Manchester meat markets used to dump all out of date meat and carkus's in the mid-19th century.
7. During the 2009/10 season, Oldham Athletic FC's team coach was pulled over no less than 18 times whilst travelling down to South London for a fixture with Charlton Atheltic. The coach had been towing a double decker bus along the M1.
Due to the propensity of the population of Oldham to put on weight a ballot is being held in September with the view to change Oldhams name to Oldham Unathletic.
6. The name Oldham actually originates from the phrase 'Oh Damn'.
Rogue estate agent Pat McGroin tricked Notherners into buy properties by online telling them they would be buying houses on the Costa Del Sol when infact they were buying in the town formally known as Cobbleston.
It would be a regular occurence for families to pull up to there newly built properties, and exclaim the words 'Oh Damn' after realising they had been duped.
The town hence became known as Oldham, or OhDamn to locals.
10. For 30 years Oldham was the home to the world's least visited museum - The Celebrity Dandruff Collection. It contained head dust from such luminaries as:
Bernie Clifton
Andy 'Donald where's ya troosers' Stewart
Michael Aspel.
The museum closed when the curator, Simon Trautman, developed an allergy to the dandruff in 1988. He tried antihistamines but eventually fate caught up with Simon and his collection and it was lost during an epic sneezing attack. Simon sadly committed suicide later on by blowing himself up with some WW2 era explosive his grandad had kept as a souvenir. A police spokesman said that ironically the only parts of his body they found were his head and shoulders.
11. A-level results released today indicated that Oldham teenagers have the lowest A grade pass rate in the UK, with only 98.8% of students from the city gaining the top rating. Commenting on the results, Head of Education, Trever Topbottom, said, "Eye, it's right disappointing 'n all but like everywhere around here we've got one or two right thicko's in t' town"
12 .The town of Oldham is part of an inter-gallactic alliance between the Ghothad Emperium and the Xhutan Hoard from the Zulan Expanse Nebula. Indiscriminate aggression resulting in widespread sporadic atrocities on both sides had previously broken out between the two main factions over many millennia. In a meeting at Oldham Town Hall in 1934, Ombudsman Brentley Outhwaite (CBE) passed a civic amendment to the town charter that directly resulted in good people of Oldham brokering a peace treaty that has lasted well into the present day, well, in this timeline certainly! High Prince Dhetran of the Xhutan is currently treasurer of the local football team currently top of the 1st Division of the English League. There have also been a persistent rumour that the recent refurbishment of toilet facilities behind the West Stand was sponsored by the Emperium and that Paul Dickov is in fact a former star pilot in the Ghothad master corps.
Apart from the above there appears nothing else of note to report about this grim northern town.
2 40 something scum bag Oldham Athletic fans in 1989 after we had knocked them out of the FA Cup (we used to knock teams out of cups once) outside Shitehurst walked past me and a pal and kicked me up the butt and stole my Charlton hat, I was all of 15 at the time (tough guys eh!) I have hated that bastard club ever since and hope we batter them on Saturday.
17. In a 1977 TV Times poll, "Oldham" was voted the third-funniest town name to appear on a sash in the Miss Great Britain beauty competition. "Feltham" took second place but, for the 20th year running, the title went to "Bristol".
Annie Kenney came from Oldham and was an ordinary working class girl who worked in the cotton mills. She and Christabel Pankhurst heckled Winston Churchill during a political meeting ( Churchill started his political career in Oldham) and was arrested for displaying a banner declaring 'Votes For Women'. She was imprisoned for three days for obstruction. She was imprisoned 13 times in total and is credited with sparking the militancy within the Suffragette movement.
on the 1st of October its a tradition in Oldham to pop a small lump of coal in your neighbours letter box to ward of evil spirits entering their house for the coming year
23. the whole of oldham will be voting for john james to leave big bro tonight as he has agreed to play for them on a match by match basis starting tomorrow, John James has score 148 goals in 4 season in the aussie league
Comments
Rogue estate agent Pat McGroin tricked Notherners into buy properties by online telling them they would be buying houses on the Costa Del Sol when infact they were buying in the town formally known as Cobbleston.
It would be a regular occurence for families to pull up to there newly built properties, and exclaim the words 'Oh Damn' after realising they had been duped.
The town hence became known as Oldham, or OhDamn to locals.
Nice one.
Bernie Clifton
Andy 'Donald where's ya troosers' Stewart
Michael Aspel.
The museum closed when the curator, Simon Trautman, developed an allergy to the dandruff in 1988. He tried antihistamines but eventually fate caught up with Simon and his collection and it was lost during an epic sneezing attack. Simon sadly committed suicide later on by blowing himself up with some WW2 era explosive his grandad had kept as a souvenir. A police spokesman said that ironically the only parts of his body they found were his head and shoulders.
Ronnie Sidebottom was one of the 15 year olds who set up the Club in 1905 and suggested the "Athletic" name in honour of his father's team.
Sid Sidebottom played nearly 100 games for Oldman at the end of the 19th Century but after retiring found work at the Woolwich Arsenal as an engineer.
The beer was very nice too.
Apart from the above there appears nothing else of note to report about this grim northern town.