[cite]Posted By: Oggy Red[/cite]The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
Probably not as important to city dwellers, but for anybody that drives a fair distance with their job; effin 'Speed cameras' Yes, I am bitter and twisted, the sneaky bar stewards - done last week 46 in a 40 - dual carriageway, no footpath (no pedestrians) and not an accident blackspot! And then another word springs to mind mid rant - 'stealth' - as in tax - ah well I'm just a criminal, must go and pay my £60 and send my licence off for them to add the 3 points! Are you supposed to mellow as you get older ? I find as I approach 50, I'm getting more and more pissed with current legislation and this mamby pamby society we are becoming - rant over!!!!!!!
[cite]Posted By: Genesis[/cite]Probably not as important to city dwellers, but for anybody that drives a fair distance with their job; effin 'Speed cameras'
Yes, I am bitter and twisted, the sneaky bar stewards - done last week 46 in a 40 - dual carriageway, no footpath (no pedestrians) and not an accident blackspot! And then another word springs to mind mid rant - 'stealth' - as in tax - ah well I'm just a criminal, must go and pay my £60 and send my licence off for them to add the 3 points!
Are you supposed to mellow as you get older ? I find as I approach 50, I'm getting more and more pissed with current legislation and this mamby pamby society we are becoming - rant over!!!!!!!
[cite]Posted By: Genesis[/cite]Probably not as important to city dwellers, but for anybody that drives a fair distance with their job; effin 'Speed cameras'
Yes, I am bitter and twisted, the sneaky bar stewards - done last week 46 in a 40 - dual carriageway, no footpath (no pedestrians) and not an accident blackspot! And then another word springs to mind mid rant - 'stealth' - as in tax - ah well I'm just a criminal, must go and pay my £60 and send my licence off for them to add the 3 points!
Are you supposed to mellow as you get older ? I find as I approach 50, I'm getting more and more pissed with current legislation and this mamby pamby society we are becoming - rant over!!!!!!!
So you admit to breaking the law but are really complaining that you got caught?
Yes BlackForestRed, I have a admitted to braking the law. But as I intimated at current legislation - it has little to do with road safety, but just another tax. And for the record, I have been driving/riding motor bikes (average 30k/year) for 33 years and never had an accident and most importantly, never caused an accident.
The most overused word is "delivery". Time was, delivery was something done with a van. Now it's used in every other sentence to mean finishing, completing, or simply doing anything you can think of. It's supposed to make the person doing the delivering sound more active or dynamic. I think it began with New Labour but has now infected all sectors - public and private.
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Its spelt init init :-)
dunno izit
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Doin' a Charlton (has two very polarised meanings)
Sha la la la la la la la
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Now used to describe any statement of fact or opinion with which someone disagrees regardless of validity
Alan Cautiously pioneered the use of the word spin ....... as in, "we've managed 3 nought-noughts on the spin"
PS there is no such thing as "irish cider"--- unless there is English Guiness !!
Yes, I am bitter and twisted, the sneaky bar stewards - done last week 46 in a 40 - dual carriageway, no footpath (no pedestrians) and not an accident blackspot! And then another word springs to mind mid rant - 'stealth' - as in tax - ah well I'm just a criminal, must go and pay my £60 and send my licence off for them to add the 3 points!
Are you supposed to mellow as you get older ? I find as I approach 50, I'm getting more and more pissed with current legislation and this mamby pamby society we are becoming - rant over!!!!!!!
Just thought of another word ...Rant ;-)
So you admit to breaking the law but are really complaining that you got caught?
really really
I also hate that habit some people have where the wiggle their middle and index figure of each hand to indicate that something is in inverted commas.
Probably the most used word on this site
And for the record, I have been driving/riding motor bikes (average 30k/year) for 33 years and never had an accident and most importantly, never caused an accident.
"I do that" !!
Every fricking politician uses this word at every fricking oportunity. Clearly this cumbles my fricking biscuits !
No and no one was going to!! ;-)
Everyone has to go on a fecking journey on every reality show there's ever been.
Appended on the end of any word to describe a scandal. Does my head in.
Blood-gate
Lie-gate
Crash-gate
Expense-gate