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Tottenham

edited October 2008 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
When you think things are bad for your own team, there's always another to laugh at. Step forward Tottenham Hotspur. Pfffffft.
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  • talksport is hilarious, slit your wrists hour
  • edited October 2008
    Juande Ramos finished training at White Hart Lane recently, he was struck by the superb quality of the pitch. The grass, a rich green colour, mowed to perfection, not cutting up at all.

    Just as he was admiring the quality of the pitch the groundskeeper happened to walk by. "This is amazing", said Juande, "the pitch looks fantastic, tell me please, how do you get it too look so good?"

    "Easy", said the groundsman, "Every two weeks we put 70 million pounds of shit on it!"
  • [cite]Posted By: Valley_floyd_red[/cite]Juande Ramos finished training at White Hart Lane recently, he was struck by the superb quality of the pitch. The grass, a rich green colour, mowed to perfection, not cutting up at all.

    Just as he was admiring the quality of the pitch the groundskeeper happened to walk by. "This is amazing", said Juande, "the pitch looks fantastic, tell me please, how do you get it too look so good?"

    "Easy", said the groundsman, "Every two weeks we put 70 million pounds of shit on it!"

    Lol!!

    What does a Tottenham fan do when they finally win a premiership game?
    Turns off his playstation and goes to bed.

    Spurs have signed a new Korean striker Win Wun Soon!

    A Tottenham supporter went by a shop. He saw a video titled "Tottenham: The Golden Years" and asked the shopkeeper how much it was. The shopkeeper told him "£200". "£200!!! For a video!", says the Spud. "Well actually", said the shopkeeper, "the video itself is only a fiver but the Betamax video player that you will need costs £195."

    Richard Branson was in talks to sponsor Spurs... However, he pulled out of the deal at the last minute...
    How can he put 'Virgin' on the shirt of a team that gets f*cked every week!!
  • It's not looking good for spurs, bottom at this stage of the season with only 2 points can only mean Relegation.

    They should have never let George Graham leave.
  • If you where their owner at what point do you tell Ramos to do one and appoint Poyet in charge?! After 8 under Dowie we had more than 2 points (surely?), they are going down now the longer the Spurs board allow it to go on the less likely is their survival.
  • We had 3 after 8 with Dowie.
  • they should never had got rid of martin jol....

    if we get the dosh we should go and get him.... just for his great accent ; )
  • they still wont go down
  • what annoys me most is the stick Bent gets off those no mark yids fans. Clueless the mugs.

    as I thought just kooked up his stats - in 20 games STARTED he has scored 10 goals. 1 in 2 yet he's being made the scapegoat.
  • To be fair, Bent has been one of our better players this season. He works his socks off and he is taking his chances. Not that he's had many chances to put away in the first 8 games, thats for granted.
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  • cheers john boy good to see a decent spud out there.

    I didn't realise Ramos was "resting" King for UEFA cup games. Is he having a laugh - King is best English defender out there got to play him FFS.

    You lot will be alright it'll come good - but it's fun at the moment listening to some of the Yids ringing up Talksport. One earlier rang up said he's paid £600 for the bolton game inc tickets, hotel travel etc adn does anyone want to buy his tickets cos he ain't going.
  • Gotta say watching them on TV yesterday they look every bit as poor as the Charlton side Relegated from the Prem a couple of years ago & as we proved that year changing the Manager does not always help.
  • edited October 2008
    [cite]Posted By: Ketman[/cite]Gotta say watching them on TV yesterday they look every bit as poor as the Charlton side Relegated from the Prem a couple of years ago & as we proved that year changing the Manager does not always help.

    Bloody funny watching it yesterday tho'!!
  • edited October 2008
    [cite]Posted By: Ketman[/cite]Gotta say watching them on TV yesterday they look every bit as poor as the Charlton side Relegated from the Prem a couple of years ago & as we proved that year changing the Manager does not always help.

    Agreed but give you million pounds if they go down and Stoke stay up ;-)
  • [cite]Posted By: ChicagoAddick[/cite]
    [cite]Posted By: Ketman[/cite]Gotta say watching them on TV yesterday they look every bit as poor as the Charlton side Relegated from the Prem a couple of years ago & as we proved that year changing the Manager does not always help.

    Agreed but give you million pounds if they go down and Stoke stay up ;-)

    Dont be so sure.
    We've got to win 10 home games to get to 32 points. Removing the top four from the equation, we've already lost 3 games at home to Sunderland, Villa and Hull. Am I right in saying Palace hold the record for the most number of points but still going down on 41? So 42 has to be the target. Can anyone see us picking up another 10 points on top? I certainly cant...

    Have to agree with Ledge. The only reason King is being rested for the UEFA cup that I can see is Corluka is cup-tied. I want to know why they feel compelled to put the UEFA before Premiership survival? If King cant play more than 1 game in every 2 then he certainly shouldnt be on a £65k a week contract... He has to play in the league.

    At least Bent has been running his you-know-whats off, without any service at all from our lightweight midfield. As for Modric and Pavlova-chenko, I've seen more strength in a meringue. Modric doesnt look a tenth of the player that played in the Euro's with Croatia. I could moan and moan but there's no point...

    It has to be said, 2008 really is turning into the year from hell for me. I really didnt think it could get any worse...but it is. Roll on 2011 ;o)
  • [cite]Posted By: Ledge[/cite]
    I didn't realise Ramos was "resting" King for UEFA cup games. Is he having a laugh - King is best English defender out there got to play him FFS.


    Best English defender or best at Tottenham?
    King can't play more than 2 games in a week. As was said after the game yesterday it's no secret he's got injury problems so why didn't they make a centre half their priority signing in the summer. Instead of waiting til deadline day to sign an already cup-tied defender who is more of a full back. Or signing Dos santos and bentley when they already had a right sided player in Lennon but let Malbranque go to Sunderland with no decent left sided back up. The problems at Spurs surely rest with Comolli who signs the players, how that bloke still has a job is beyond me.
  • It does make you wonder about Comolli. Jol was shown absolutely no loyalty whatsoever by Levy but Comolli cant do nothing wrong, so it seems. But then Levy can be blamed too - everyone knew Berbatov was going in the window, why hold out for another £4-5m when we should have let him go at the start to give us more time to get a replacement in.

    We're a laughing stock and fully deserve to be. I blame the chef who cooked the Lasagne.

    At least I'll get to visit the Valley and Selhurst next season...
  • How is the player that was knocked out?

    And what was wrong with Gomes... he looked completely mental looking like he was laughing when he was stood there in pain?
  • [cite]Posted By: Curb_It[/cite]How is the player that was knocked out?

    And what was wrong with Gomes... he looked completely mental looking like he was laughing when he was stood there in pain?

    Apparently, regained consciousness in the ambulance and will be out for a few weeks with severe concussion. (That'll teach me to think he was play acting, screaming at him to get up and be a man!)

    Still no idea what was wrong with Gomes. Perhaps it had just dawned on him that he's made the biggest mistake of his life joining Spurs. To be fair to him, apart from the rick he made against Villa, he has been superb for us.
  • [cite]Posted By: JohnBoyUK[/cite]
    [cite]Posted By: ChicagoAddick[/cite]
    [cite]Posted By: Ketman[/cite]Gotta say watching them on TV yesterday they look every bit as poor as the Charlton side Relegated from the Prem a couple of years ago & as we proved that year changing the Manager does not always help.

    Agreed but give you million pounds if they go down and Stoke stay up ;-)

    The only reason King is being rested for the UEFA cup that I can see is Corluka is cup-tied. I want to know why they feel compelled to put the UEFA before Premiership survival?

    Anything to do with Ramos' priorities? he is "allegedly" the king of the cup competitions, so they say?
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  • Spurs,from the chairman right the way down to the fans, have always considered themselves a top four side.
    SERVES THEM BLOODY RIGHT.
  • [cite]Posted By: JohnBoyUK[/cite]Am I right in saying Palace hold the record for the most number of points but still going down on 41? So 42 has to be the target.

    We went down with 42 points in 2003.
    Must admit I've still got a feeling you'll pull yourselves out of trouble, tottenham geeting relegated sounds too good to be true to me. But looking at your fixtures coming up, you've got a pretty tough run until christmas. Fail to get a decent amount of points on the board from those games then every game becomes a tough game.
  • I hear there is a good manager available. Lives in outskirts of London.

    Excellent track record of keeping clubs in the Premier League even after poor starts.

    Between jobs at the moment.

    Doesn't always play the glory, glory game but he gets results.

    Apply to:

    Sir L Curbishley
    Chingford
    Essex
    RM7
  • [cite]Posted By: Henry Irving[/cite]I hear there is a good manager available. Lives in outskirts of London.

    Excellent track record of keeping clubs in the Premier League even after poor starts.

    Between jobs at the moment.

    Doesn't always play the glory, glory game but he gets results.

    Apply to:

    Sir L Curbishley
    Chingford
    Essex
    RM7
    A Premiership team has to get relegated from the Premier League - why can't it be us?
  • [cite]Posted By: carly burn[/cite]Spurs,from the chairman right the way down to the fans, have always considered themselves a top four side.
    SERVES THEM BLOODY RIGHT.

    There's always one, isnt there? Having a decent discussion and someone has to go and spoil it lol. In all truth, I thought we had a real chance this year, even with the sale of Keane and Berbatov. We looked excellent pre-season and things were looking like they were gelling nicely. I backed Bent to be top scorer. I had a £20 bet that we would finish above Liverpool this season. Just goes to show I know sweet FA about football because I never saw this coming... However, I think the majority of Spurs fans before the season started would have thought that the top 4 was still out of reach...
    [cite]Posted By: Henry Irving[/cite]I hear there is a good manager available. Lives in outskirts of London.

    Excellent track record of keeping clubs in the Premier League even after poor starts.

    Between jobs at the moment.

    Doesn't always play the glory, glory game but he gets results.

    Apply to:

    Sir L Curbishley
    Chingford
    Essex
    RM7

    If Levy and the board do lose patience again, think Curbishley would be an obvious candidate. Other than him, Allardyce and Venables, who else is available? So whats Levy going to do, show faith and keep Ramos in a job. Sack him and lose £20m in compensation? I havent got a clue what will happen next. I'm not sure I even want to know. Can I just go and sit in a dark room until the season is over?
  • Curbs would be good for Spurs but the problems at WHL are deeper than Ramos or Jol. I was born the week they last won the league! The fans, the press and board will be on Curbs back as soon as he grinds out a 0 - 0 away and says it's a good result.

    If he couldn't satisfy some unrealistic expectations at Charlton or even West Ham what chance at Spurs? I doubt he needs the money and may see it as a poison chalice. On the other hand it is local, Spurs are a big club and he may fancy his chances. Bet he will drive a hard bargain on wages, compensation, bonus etc if Levy phones.
  • [cite]Posted By: Henry Irving[/cite]Curbs would be good for Spurs but the problems at WHL are deeper than Ramos or Jol. I was born the week they last won the league! The fans, the press and board will be on Curbs back as soon as he grinds out a 0 - 0 away and says it's a good result.

    If he couldn't satisfy some unrealistic expectations at Charlton or even West Ham what chance at Spurs? I doubt he needs the money and may see it as a poison chalice. On the other hand it is local, Spurs are a big club and he may fancy his chances. Bet he will drive a hard bargain on wages, compensation, bonus etc if Levy phones.

    Unfortunately, Henry, I agree. As Gerry Francis said over the weekend, the Spurs job is an impossible one.
  • Stuart Pearce
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Roland Out!