My girlfriend and I rarely disagree on much but this subject is guaranteed to get us arguing.
I've always presumed that as soon as my kids are old enough (if I have any) I'll take them to the Valley.
My Dad was never into football, so as a kid I never got taken to a match, I look back and think how much I missed out on.
My girlfriend on the other hand doesn't want her kids going as she doesn't like the swearing.
Now as far as I'm concerned kids are going to here swearing whatever you do, at school, on busses, on trains, in the street.
So I think the plusses of taking them to the football far outweigh the chances of them hearing a bit of bad language.
I honestly think that taking your son (or daughter) to they're first match must be one of the ultimate father/son (or daughter!) moments in life, along with teaching them to ride a bike, taking them fishing etc etc
Anyway, I'm not willing to back down on this one so at some point (baring in mind I'd like my girlfriend to be the mother to my children), it's going to be a issue.
Any thoughts?
or even better, any brilliantly thought out arguments I can use in my defense?!
p.s. on Saturday when the third goal went in I had a uncontrollable tourettes style swearing attack and then stormed off to the toilet, on my way back feeling a lot calmer I noticed how many kids sit in the vicinity and I did feel pretty guilty for a second.
But having said that I'd like to think if I had my kids there with me I could keep a lid on it, so at least they wouldn't hear they're Dad swearing.
0
Comments
But in all seriousness, you got to take your kid in my opinion. Even if you go and sit in a family stand or something to minimise the swearing.
Hearing the swearing isnt the bad thing, its the way they react afterwards. If you instil them that its not right to use those words and discipline them this way then there will be no problems in my opinion.
I'm not a dad though so probably not qualified to comment!
...er...
edited.
Will she still hear swearing? Most probably. Am I worried about it? Not overly.....In my experience kids will get exposed to the realities of the World whether you like it or not. What is important, and something you can effect, is how they react to it. Bring them up to know right from wrong and you'll be fine. You cant wrap them up in cotton wool all of their lives otherwise when they do venture away from the norm and the protection of their parents then they will be utterly bamboozled by the whole situation. Its much better to make them worldly wise IMHO but just manage how much of the World their ears hear / eyes see.
But if you do go, as WSS says, sit in the family stand it should be ok there. Maybe take the missus as well so she's reassured. Just make sure the game isn't Palace at home!
I must admit to having a few misgivings about sitting there with her before we actually did but (touchwood) we've never had a problem and love it there. My daughter goes off on her own at half time to buy a drink or whatever if she feels like it and has been happy to do so almost from day one.
She's been to the Valley quite a few times, hence her moral stance!
I've moved back about 10 rows now but where I used to sit there was guy that brought his young daughter to every game and he would shout every word under the sun in front of her.
I think that is what has got my girlfriend thinking.
I'm sure they will hear swearing elsewhere, and will pick this up and use it if it suits them, but not if it doesn't. There's not many places though where it will be with the same frequency or intensity, so the the key thing is how will your child react to it? My two have reacted in totally different ways. My eldest enjoys it, and finds it funny (just as I do in a childish way).
My youngest on the other hand was completely put off of football because he found "the sweary man" in M Block too threatening. This complete a***hole could not stop swearing (except when he had his own daughter with him). I spoke to him a couple of times, about it. He apologised, but then started again a few minutes later as if nothing had happened. Anyway, the upshot of it is we've now moved seats, but my youngest still doesn't want to go back. I imagine this bloke thinks he's one of Charlton's greatest supporters, but in reality he has cost the club a fan, quite possibly for life.
I guess after all this I'd say give it a go, but do bear in mind what it is like where you sit.
I shouldn't have used the word arguing really, just having different views on a subject.
but you're probably right, I'll forget about it until I've successfully impregnated her!...
anyone else find that line funny! hehe, sorry stig you make a valid point but that made me chuckle.
my dad used to take me football and we sat in the lower west.
he has never ever sworn in front of me, and my mum doesn't swear either -ever, he used to change words so they weren't so rude. twot, etc this was when i was 18.
still never heard him swear.
i think it is a valid point raised by your missus i tend not to curse when NLJR is with me but by the time the poxy addicks have messed up my head again i do tend to lapse, i do try to pay attention to whom is within ear shot but i do also swear and then realise too late,
i think the onlty sane argument in favour of it is for you to highlight every time you here or see something that you wouldnt want your kids to hear or see that is not at a footie match and then she will see that footie is no worse than most aspects of life, i did it to my missus and it worked
1. CAFC has a family stand where if anyone is belting out stings of swearies they'll quickly get marching orders
2. When I was a kid I'd hear pretty distasteful religious bile/swearing. TBF that's Glasgow for you anyway. I don't recall thinking ah, the bloke next to me called such and such a fenian c**t or a different bloke an orange tw*t, therefore I can get away with it. Kids aren't as soft as we think. They generally learn pretty quickly what's past the line.
I would say that if you choose to go someplace other than the Family area that you have no right to moan about what your youngsters are expsed to. At the end of the day there's a family enclosure for a reason and there's a singing end for a reason. I'm annoyed at the number of people who should be in the family end who want to go into the North Upper because they like the atmosphere, then complain about aspects of the atmospher. You can't have it both ways.
Then again what you should really do is tell her that she's correct and good kids shouldn't go to football. Then, if you have kids with her and if those kids want to go to games then she'll struggle to stop you. It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission.
Now thats probably worst case scenario, for your son/daughter copying the swear word during a football match,if anything its good for them to know from an early age that these words are swear words... as i never used a swear word infront of my mum and dad, after that moment, until when i was about 17.
Spot on I'd say.
Then took her to her first propper match against Bolton in the prem now she is a season ticket holder aged 7 (She is a Charlton stat)
Took my son to his first game last Saturday 2 weeks before his 4th birthday and even though we lost he loved every minute of it!
His first words on Sunday morning when he woke up was "We going to Charlton today dad?"
Took Henry Jnr when he was 3 and bit. Beat Chelsea 2 -1 (Euell got both). Walked down with my dad which was quite moving for me, doing with my son what my dad have done many years before.
As for the swearing I think you hear far too much and used with such a lack of wit ( "W*****, W******" is such a pathetic chant) but swearing goes on all round us, not just at football and my son know all the words already (I think). We were watching Forrest Gump and he laughed and said "he said the F word" so at least he knows it is not acceptable everywhere.
I swear and so does my dad but never in front of my mum although she is quite aware of the words. Just an old fashioned Woolwich working class thing. My Dad said people from Deptford were really rough "swear in front of their wives".
He might have boys who hate football! I did! That said,i took my brother in laws before they were 10, my nephews and my kids all of whom heard the swearing,that did not mean that they thought it was acceptable. It was usually recieved with a sneaky grin, they knew that iot was not acceptable behaviour and they would be hung drawn and quartered if they were to swear... kids are not stupid they know when adults are being knobs
It's difficult. I haven't got kids but if I had I'm not sure I'd want them exposed to 'The Bloke Behind Me' who calls everyone a c##t every few seconds. I started going in the 70's and although I'm sure I must have heard all sorts of language back then that one in particular seems to have crept into much wider useage now. IMO the joy of a being a lifelong Addick(!!!?) out-weighs her concerns over the bad langauge but I can see where she's coming from on this. It's just a case of trying to minimise it like everyone else has said.
If you have slight concerns about language and behaviour, then don't sit in the North. If you have serious concerns about language and behaviour, then sit in the Family Enclosure, it is what it is there for.
Kids as just as likely to be exposed to the same language on the bus, in the shops at school etc. The parent / child bonding that goes with going to football far outweighs and potential negatives IMO.
Also gives the Mrs a chance for some down time.
Not too bad where I sit at the top of the North West apart from a certain 'Cheeserolls' charactor!
Cant really say anything to him as I knicked his seats from last season!
It's all about training your kids to not 'do as they do'.
Easier said than done, though!
Mind you I will be wondering if my bruv MCS will curb his language when MCS Junior arrives?
If anyone knows him, you'll know what I am talking about!!!!!
Me and my old man were as close as could be and a lot of it was down to him taking me to football.
Sit in the East so not much bad language heard and it wouldnt bother me anyway (see Charlton Dans post)
She also loves going north stand upper for the atmosphere, she will ignore the swearing if she hears it.
She also loves going to away games and she has been to a few now.
You have to make your own judgement as he or she will be exposed to it at some point or time in life.
I try not swear too much when kids are around me at matches but I go to football to let off steam so its all part of going to matches imo. Like you say, they're gonna hear it anyway, I learnt to swear at school, from TV and at work, not at football.
This is the best post I've read on this. I have a son, he comes to football, he already knows pretty much all the swear words, he sometimes uses them with his friends in the playground/park - I don't have a problem. He uses them at the dinner table - I do have a problem. It is my job as a parent to help him to understand about appropriateness of the use of such words. I refuse to be hypocritical and pretend that I never swear. I have used the F word twice ever in his ear shot when I was extremely angry/stressed out (not by him). I explained to him why. He gets extremely stressed out, which is part of the condition he has and swear words come out. What he is learning though, when he's not under great stress, is that he shouldn't use them around the house or in public like at a football ground.
As regards him going to football, as he has chosen to support the Addicks and wants to come, I'd rather have a magical dads and lads time supporting our beloved team, something which will develop as he grows older, just as I did with my Dad, and he with his Dad before him, rather than worry about a few Anglo Saxon and Dutch loan words.