32) When you come out of the away end at Rotherham, someone has painted "Barnsley Fc" in three foot high letters on the wall. It is very impressive. That is true or at least it was in 1998
33) Barnsley are the only known English club to have imposed a ban on their players from having any intimate contact with their sheep 48 hours prior to any match.
34) Barnsley has the worlds largest population of lamb loving Siemese twins. High demand on local butchers led to the development of the now famed "Barnsley Chop".
35. Barnsley is the home of Mrs Posy Drive who is in the Guinness book of records for owning the largest collection of screwdrivers in the world. She is also the holder of the less honourable record of most husbands - 22. On the two subjects she quipped, "I get them nailed down as a good one to keep, but my obsessive collecting seems to have driven them all mad. It's not like I've got a screw loose."
10 of her husbands killed themselves, one leaving a note saying "If I hear another pun about screwdrivers I shall go mad." Ironically, the rope he used was not strong enough and he fell onto the largest screwdriver of his wife's collection impaling him in a horrific death. Mrs Drive commented, "It was my favourite screwdriver as well, but afterwards I couldn't face looking at it so I buried it alongside him. It seemed appropriate as it was his undoing - such a twist of fate."
40. thereds is the only person in Barnsley with internet access. dreamboy is currently sitting next to him waiting for his turn for a go on the commodore 64.
44. Hovering over Off_it's (sorry - I'm not picking on you!) user name brings up a picture remarkably similar to a girl I pulled on an away trip to Barnsley. Twice.
It is a little known fact that applicants wishing to nominate themselves for the local council have to undergo various tests and initiation ceremonies. Firstly they have to bear their backside to a packed townhall and show off their left buttock which has to be tattoed with a large red Toby Tyke (a local interbread variation on a rabid bulldog). They also have to swear allegance to peoples independant socialist republic of the Dearne valley. At their initiation ceremony they will be taken to the Klondyke club in Royston wearing only a Donkey jacket and a pair of pit boots (they may insist on calling them booits). There they will be forced to drink 25 pints of whallop (with a Cherry B chacer) whilst arm wrestling the whole committee. They will then be forced to eat a 10 sausage butty at the (not very) chinese takeaway across the road. Farting and belching will be encouraged but vommiting will lead to immediate disqualification. It is thought that the proceedure for male applicants is much tougher.
[cite]Posted By: softsoutherntyke[/cite]bear their backside to a packed townhall and show off their left buttock which has to be tattoed with a large red Toby Tyke
48. Another well known phrase that was born in Yorkshire's finest town. People who get this wrong were known to have "made a right arse of themselves."
i know most of these are far-fetched affairs, but insinuating that the good traditional folk of Barnsley would even consider allowing WOMEN to stand for councillor roles, well that's just a step too far....
Not many know that colossal internet auction site e-Bay was founded in Barnsley by two ex-glassworks employees who branched out on their own to form an online double glazing manufacturing and distribution company in 1967. The business took off like a whippet through an aqueduct and the two Barnsley lads made good. Very good, that is, before disaster struck in the form of the great double glazing dot com bubble bust of 1966, which left Barnsley's online glass retail and manufacturing industries in tatters.
Some years later, t'site was re-branded as e-Up-Bay.co.uk, a general glass products auctioneering site. Though it was successful for a period, the site suffered along with the rest of Barnsley's web commerce and technological industries, which floundered during the coal mining crisis of the early 1980s *(footnote). But, despite withstanding the most damaging effects of the coal crisis, the two found the online glass products auction business hard going and they were never able to re-capture the levels of their amazing success between the years 1967-86 due in large part to the dwindling supply of coal based computers in the area.
In a moment of seemingly good fortune, e-Up-Bay was sold to two American Mormons who were passing through Barnsley en route to speak at a conference at The University of Leeds on the historical ramifications of Jesus' visit to the Peak District in 1 AD. They were fascinated by the local's seemingly alien technology and absorbed themselves for hours in all sorts of newfangled "websites". So wrapped up in the experience the two Mormons forgot about the conference and continued their marathon sessions at the computers. It was during this session that one of the Americans saw a curious link marked Guurgle.com, a site developed by and for locals to aid in searching the plethora of websites about the local area which had sprung up in the years between 1974 and 1986 (Generally sited as the period of Barnsley's greatest online commercial growth financed almost entirely by young and reckless local venture capitalists come good on whippet racing). Through that search site the young Mormons found a number of sites, like riverdearne.com (a local book dealer) and Wahey! (local and regional news portal), but none caught their eye like e-Up-Bay. The Mormons immediately recognised the potential for the site to include much more than double glazed snow domes, window panes and fittings. They wanted to take e-Up-Bay and coal based computing global. The locals laughed. What would anyone outside of Barnsley want with a computer? For a small price, the Mormons took the hapless site back to America. But without the rich Barnsly coal ore, they had no viable way to showcase their site. They waited for the technology to reach a viable point with the advent of Silicon based computing in California in the late 1970s. After re-coding the site for the new silicon platform, in 1995 they renamed the project e-Bay and the rest is history.
Though it has been successful on the world stage, e-Bay has yet to reach the lofty heights set by the two Barnsley lads in the early stages of the business before the Barnsley dot com bubble burst of 66 and the demise of coal based computing in 86.
*(footnote) Of course, at that time the Barnsley economy accounted for 3/4s of the UK economy, due almost entirely to the new technologically innovative computer industries based there. The nearby coal deposits were needed in the production of computer chips to drive the local computing industry based at Coal Valley, before the advent of the relatively inefficient and cumbersome Silicon based computers. When these were cut off, so were the hopes of the young and brash technology entrepreneurs, who lost their fortunes and turned to the budding welfare state for comfort. Ramifications of this were quickly felt throughout the land and it wasn't until many years later that the internet was reborn and introduced again, but this time throughout the UK (via America). In a twist of fate, it was the pioneering locals of Barnsley who were last to receive the contemporary internet service in 2001. Though inferior in scope and quality the contemporary internet has proved popular with Barnsley natives, largely because they remain ignorant of their foreparents' history as leaders in the computer industry.
50. The offical language in Barnsley is called T'lish. Where you place the letter T before every 'english' word. as herd at oakwell last season, "Com'on T'lad were gona be T'late for T'Kick off" "Ok T'pa let me just put T'kes back in T'coal shed".
51, A legend telling the story of how Barnsley was giving its name as a town... A young wippersnapper (or should it be whippetsnatcher?) by the name of Lee one dark day led his young innocent pooch into a deserted Barn in order to have his wicked way with her. He was allegedly caught by a couple of pals and they nicknamed said barn "The Barn of Lee" (not very original those northerners it must be said)! Anyway over time it was shortened to "Barnlee" and then eventually evolved to the Barnsley we know today.
It is said that the Barn itself was later knocked down and Oakwell Stadium was built on its site, a minute silence is observed every year on the 26th April in memory of the poor canine that was so awfully brutalised on that day many many years ago.
Comments
10 of her husbands killed themselves, one leaving a note saying "If I hear another pun about screwdrivers I shall go mad." Ironically, the rope he used was not strong enough and he fell onto the largest screwdriver of his wife's collection impaling him in a horrific death. Mrs Drive commented, "It was my favourite screwdriver as well, but afterwards I couldn't face looking at it so I buried it alongside him. It seemed appropriate as it was his undoing - such a twist of fate."
37. barnsley will win 2-0 tomorro
UP THE REEEEDDDDSSS
Nice to see you entering into the spirit.
38. Barnsley will not be playing in red tomorrow. FACT.
"Better buy back Barnsley's big barnacles bob"
...five times quickly.
http://download.howden.press.net/actim/Champ_index_top100.pdf
However, the aforementioned chippy shuts at 1.30 pm on a Saturday so get in early folks.
45. according to that benjani is the 2nd best player in the premier leugue. WTF
You mean he isn't?!?!?!
48. Another well known phrase that was born in Yorkshire's finest town. People who get this wrong were known to have "made a right arse of themselves."
i know most of these are far-fetched affairs, but insinuating that the good traditional folk of Barnsley would even consider allowing WOMEN to stand for councillor roles, well that's just a step too far....
Not many know that colossal internet auction site e-Bay was founded in Barnsley by two ex-glassworks employees who branched out on their own to form an online double glazing manufacturing and distribution company in 1967. The business took off like a whippet through an aqueduct and the two Barnsley lads made good. Very good, that is, before disaster struck in the form of the great double glazing dot com bubble bust of 1966, which left Barnsley's online glass retail and manufacturing industries in tatters.
Some years later, t'site was re-branded as e-Up-Bay.co.uk, a general glass products auctioneering site. Though it was successful for a period, the site suffered along with the rest of Barnsley's web commerce and technological industries, which floundered during the coal mining crisis of the early 1980s *(footnote). But, despite withstanding the most damaging effects of the coal crisis, the two found the online glass products auction business hard going and they were never able to re-capture the levels of their amazing success between the years 1967-86 due in large part to the dwindling supply of coal based computers in the area.
In a moment of seemingly good fortune, e-Up-Bay was sold to two American Mormons who were passing through Barnsley en route to speak at a conference at The University of Leeds on the historical ramifications of Jesus' visit to the Peak District in 1 AD. They were fascinated by the local's seemingly alien technology and absorbed themselves for hours in all sorts of newfangled "websites". So wrapped up in the experience the two Mormons forgot about the conference and continued their marathon sessions at the computers. It was during this session that one of the Americans saw a curious link marked Guurgle.com, a site developed by and for locals to aid in searching the plethora of websites about the local area which had sprung up in the years between 1974 and 1986 (Generally sited as the period of Barnsley's greatest online commercial growth financed almost entirely by young and reckless local venture capitalists come good on whippet racing). Through that search site the young Mormons found a number of sites, like riverdearne.com (a local book dealer) and Wahey! (local and regional news portal), but none caught their eye like e-Up-Bay. The Mormons immediately recognised the potential for the site to include much more than double glazed snow domes, window panes and fittings. They wanted to take e-Up-Bay and coal based computing global. The locals laughed. What would anyone outside of Barnsley want with a computer? For a small price, the Mormons took the hapless site back to America. But without the rich Barnsly coal ore, they had no viable way to showcase their site. They waited for the technology to reach a viable point with the advent of Silicon based computing in California in the late 1970s. After re-coding the site for the new silicon platform, in 1995 they renamed the project e-Bay and the rest is history.
Though it has been successful on the world stage, e-Bay has yet to reach the lofty heights set by the two Barnsley lads in the early stages of the business before the Barnsley dot com bubble burst of 66 and the demise of coal based computing in 86.
*(footnote) Of course, at that time the Barnsley economy accounted for 3/4s of the UK economy, due almost entirely to the new technologically innovative computer industries based there. The nearby coal deposits were needed in the production of computer chips to drive the local computing industry based at Coal Valley, before the advent of the relatively inefficient and cumbersome Silicon based computers. When these were cut off, so were the hopes of the young and brash technology entrepreneurs, who lost their fortunes and turned to the budding welfare state for comfort. Ramifications of this were quickly felt throughout the land and it wasn't until many years later that the internet was reborn and introduced again, but this time throughout the UK (via America). In a twist of fate, it was the pioneering locals of Barnsley who were last to receive the contemporary internet service in 2001. Though inferior in scope and quality the contemporary internet has proved popular with Barnsley natives, largely because they remain ignorant of their foreparents' history as leaders in the computer industry.
From the Charlton OS match preview:
"Barnsley are a good side and they've got a couple of outstanding players, Brain Howard in particular, who we're going to have to keep an eye on.
(actually says that right now, LOL)
Barnsley magic
It is said that the Barn itself was later knocked down and Oakwell Stadium was built on its site, a minute silence is observed every year on the 26th April in memory of the poor canine that was so awfully brutalised on that day many many years ago.