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Am I being unreasonable?

I'm not known for my straight thinking, so would appreciate some thoughts, around what might seem a petty neighbour dispute?

My flat is one of four within a terraced house.

A couple of years ago, I had my pushbike stolen from the communal hall of the building. This prompted having an additional lock added to the front door of the building. Great from a security perspective but the downside being, it disabled the intercom system. Meaning one had to go and physically open the front door to allow visitors in. Personally I don't find it an inconvenience but then again, I'm not very popular.

About 4 months ago, a new neighbour moved in above me, a largish Canadian women and her son and now the problems start.

Despite there being a notice on the inside of the front door, reminding everyone to double lock the door because of the break in, I'm forever finding the front door only partially locked.

I know the longer standing occupants wouldn't leave it unlocked, not on a consistent basis, nor is it me. So I thought it must be the new neighbour and gave her some leeway and just gently reminded her,to turn both locks.

Four months later and after many discussions, it's clear that she leaves the door unlocked wilfully, she admitted it.

To be sympathetic to her, she did explain that she has dodgy hips and says she gets lots of deliveries, mostly takeaways in the evening and going up and down the stairs is not easy. I did point out to her, that her son, who is maybe 17 and at home, almost all of the time, could do it for her.

I also said I'd be willing, if I was at home to be relaxed about the door not being fully secured but wasn't happy if out, knowing that it wasn't and nor would the other occupants.

My argument, is really about the security of the building and my home. I do have contents insurance but am worried, that should I be burgled and it can be proved that the main door wasn't secured properly, then my insurance would be null and void. I have pointed this out to her and asked if she would be willing to pay for any missing items but she declined to answer!

So am I being unreasonable insisting the front door be properly secured, even thought she has dodgy hips but does have a son that can fetch and carry for her?



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Comments

  • No you're not being unreasonable. Tell Bill Werbeniuk in drag to cut down on the takeaways. It'll help with the hips.

    Seriously, IMO it sounds like you've been very reasonable about it.
  • edited September 15

    Tell the fat fucker to lock the door and suggest that she might find it easier to get up and down if she didn't eat so many takeaways

    Too bloody right.

    Being serious, you are being totally reasonable.
  • You're being totally reasonable, but I don't see how you can make her lock the door.

    My 25 year old son still goes out and leaves the front door open occasionally, which drives us mad, but there's little I can do about it, other than keep reminding him.
  • Teach her how to use a bucket on a rope out of the window like a dumb waiter.
  • You're being totally reasonable, but I don't see how you can make her lock the door.

    My 25 year old son still goes out and leaves the front door open occasionally, which drives us mad, but there's little I can do about it, other than keep reminding him.

    Give him some tough love and ground him :wink:
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  • edited September 15

    You're being totally reasonable, but I don't see how you can make her lock the door.

    My 25 year old son still goes out and leaves the front door open occasionally, which drives us mad, but there's little I can do about it, other than keep reminding him.

    I agree it will be difficult to get her to lock the door but there is a building management company and so I was going to inform them, don't particularly feel comfortable squealing.

    Just needed to be sure I wasn't being unreasonable.
  • Chizz said:

    Check the insurance issue with your insurer. If they confirm that leaving the door unlocked nullifies your insurance, write to all of the building's other three householders. That should (a) make it more likely it gets locked and (b) demonstrate you've done everything you can to ensure it's locked (should you need to make a claim).

    Get in the habit of going downstairs yourself to check it's locked when you hear her come home or get a delivery. It will be a pain for you, but a bigger pain for her when she can't get her regular deliveries. Eventually she'll cotton on.

    Finally (and this is the really difficult bit) try not to let it stress you out. I know I would find it irritating and I'm sure you do too. But you should try to avoid something like that causing your blood pressure to go up, if you can.

    But, whatever you do, be in no doubt: you're in the right.

    Thanks for your input Chizz and a good idea about double checking the insurance and informing the other residents.
  • edited September 15
    Thanks to everyone else for your confirming I'm not being a hunt!!!
  • You're being totally reasonable, but I don't see how you can make her lock the door.

    My 25 year old son still goes out and leaves the front door open occasionally, which drives us mad, but there's little I can do about it, other than keep reminding him.

    I agree it will be difficult to get her to lock the door but there is a building management company and so I was going to inform them, don't particularly feel comfortable squealing.

    Just needed to be sure I wasn't being unreasonable.
    Give her one more chance and put it in writing that you will be informing the management company if it happens again, after having requested x amount of times.
  • Tell the fat fucker to lock the door and suggest that she might find it easier to get up and down if she didn't eat so many takeaways

    And then a swift kick in the c***?
  • 1StevieG said:

    Tell the fat fucker to lock the door and suggest that she might find it easier to get up and down if she didn't eat so many takeaways

    And then a swift kick in the c***?
    Classy stuff 1SG!
  • edited September 15

    I seem to be in the minority here, but I really can't see its such an issue. You've obviously have a lock on YOUR own front door, so whats the problem. If you're that concerned about security then put an extra lock on YOUR door. You've already buggered up the intercom (and thus making people having to physically open the main door instead of being able to buzz people up) because you left YOUR bicycle in the COMMUNAL hallway, and now you want a physically impaired lady to keep traipsing up & down the stairs just so you have peace of mind that a burglar isn't going to steal your bike, which is probably covered by your insurance anyway - which leads me to the bigger question.....

    Is your bike still kept in the COMMUNAL hallway (assuming that you replaced it) ?? I'm sure the other tenants love tripping over it every day they come home from work. Why not just do the sensible & honourable thing & keep in it your flat.

    Firstly, I got permission to keep it there. Nobody tripped over it. I did replace it but it got nicked again, so didn't get another

    I do have a double lock on my door.

    But this isn't just my issue, there are others in the building who are affected by it.

    And if I'm being honest I'm not convinced she is that impaired, she moves around seemingly freely.

    From people I've spoken too, that have the same impression as me, that she's a Prima Donna and a lard arse!
  • Security camera?
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  • edited September 15

    I seem to be in the minority here, but I really can't see its such an issue. You've obviously have a lock on YOUR own front door, so whats the problem. If you're that concerned about security then put an extra lock on YOUR door. You've already buggered up the intercom (and thus making people having to physically open the main door instead of being able to buzz people up) because you left YOUR bicycle in the COMMUNAL hallway, and now you want a physically impaired lady to keep traipsing up & down the stairs just so you have peace of mind that a burglar isn't going to steal your bike, which is probably covered by your insurance anyway - which leads me to the bigger question.....

    Is your bike still kept in the COMMUNAL hallway (assuming that you replaced it) ?? I'm sure the other tenants love tripping over it every day they come home from work. Why not just do the sensible & honourable thing & keep in it your flat.

    Firstly, I got permission to keep it there. Nobody tripped over it. I did replace it but it got nicked again, so didn't get another

    I do have a double lock on my door.

    But this isn't just my issue, there are others in the building who are affected by it.

    And if I'm being honest I'm not convinced she is that impaired, she moves around seemingly freely.

    From people I've spoken too, that have the same impression as me, that she's a Prima Donna and a lard arse!
    So, once again I don't see your problem. I do concede that if all the other occupiers feel that the door needs to be double locked all the time them you should have a meeting & explain to the poor lady that its 3 to 1 & she needs to get her act together.

    However, I still think you're making a mountain out of a mole hill.....or is it that you just dont like fat people ?
  • Tenants have a reasonable expectation that they can use their own intercom, especial if they're disabled. Maybe you should get that fixed rather than make everyone subject to your rules.

    You did leave your bike in a communal area
  • Living in a communal building with an intercom, my insurance (which I only renewed recently which is why I remember) is entirely based on the locks to my own flat, not the communal door, so I doubt you've got a leg to stand on there. And given how often we get the "don't leave stuff in the communal areas, it's a fire hazard" reminders I'm amazed your management company were so sanguine about it.
  • aliwibble said:

    Living in a communal building with an intercom, my insurance (which I only renewed recently which is why I remember) is entirely based on the locks to my own flat, not the communal door, so I doubt you've got a leg to stand on there. And given how often we get the "don't leave stuff in the communal areas, it's a fire hazard" reminders I'm amazed your management company were so sanguine about it.

    Exactly the same for me

    Regardless of it being a fire hazard, it's also pretty annoying when people clutter communal areas with shit they can keep in their own flats
  • edited September 16
    Bloody cyclists denying Bessie Bunter her daily diet of saturated fat.
  • Sorry Martin,
    a bike in a communal hallway is breaking fire regs and looks unsightly anyway. I think it's down to you to get the intercom repaired if you dismantled it.
    As someone else mentioned, secure your own front door.
  • Sorry Martin,
    a bike in a communal hallway is breaking fire regs and looks unsightly anyway. I think it's down to you to get the intercom repaired if you dismantled it.
    As someone else mentioned, secure your own front door.
  • But he said the bike isn't there any more.
  • But he said the bike isn't there any more.

    But it was and the intercom is still broken, I'd be pretty furious about that.

    I'd suggest you get the intercom fixed, explain to her that it's been done so she doesn't have to get up and down the stairs anymore, she can just buzz people in, that way you should both be happy.
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