Attention: Please take a moment to consider our terms and conditions before posting.
Options

Jokes..

1152153155157158282

Comments

  • Options
    Token Essex girl joke:

    Sandra: 'Ere Trace I gotta new ringtone'
    Trace; 'Have you bleached it then Sarn?'
  • Options

    Token Essex girl joke:

    Sandra: 'Ere Trace I gotta new ringtone'
    Trace; 'Have you bleached it then Sarn?'

    I am friends with both of these girls and they come from Croydon
  • Options

    Token Essex girl joke:

    Sandra: 'Ere Trace I gotta new ringtone'
    Trace; 'Have you bleached it then Sarn?'

    I am friends with both of these girls and they come from Croydon
    As in 'kiss me where it smells'
  • Options

    Token Essex girl joke:

    Sandra: 'Ere Trace I gotta new ringtone'
    Trace; 'Have you bleached it then Sarn?'

    I am friends with both of these girls and they come from Croydon
    As in 'kiss me where it smells'
    Don't knock it till you try it
  • Options

    I went to a sperm bank the other day
    The lady at the desk said to me sir would you like to masterbate in a cup.

    I said I am good but not sure if I am ready to enter a tournament just yet

    Brilliant!

    In the spirit of festive forgiveness, I'll reprise from last years my favourite Gary Delaney gag.

    In B and Q
    'I'd like a Christmas tree please'
    'Certainly sir, are you going to put it up yourself?'
    'No, in the living room.'

    Brilliant. Very underrated comedian he is.
  • Options
    Excerpts of Elizabeth Fritzl's diary have been released -

    Wednesday - Dad locked me in the basement and told me this is where I will now be living.

    Thursday - Dad came down to the basement and beat me.

    Friday - Dad came down to the basement and beat me harder.

    Saturday - I ran away and went to see my beloved Crystal Palace, wished I stayed at home.
  • Sponsored links:


  • Options
    Somebody told me a joke about the best thing about Christmas Dinner. It's a cracker.
  • Options
    Not a joke, but keeps me amused.......Every time it snows I post a picture of our Xena-Powell playing in the snow and every time someone say's "Where"??imageimage
  • Options
    edited December 2017
    T_C_E said:

    Not a joke, but keeps me amused.......Every time it snows I post a picture of our Xena-Powell playing in the snow and every time someone say's "Where"??imageimage

    That's not a cat!
  • Options
    T_C_E said:

    Not a joke, but keeps me amused.......Every time it snows I post a picture of our Xena-Powell playing in the snow and every time someone say's "Where"??imageimage

    To be fair it could have been a lush green field and would struggle to see the dog.
  • Options
    Solidgone said:

    Isn’t it odd that the the human mind doesn’t register the the fact that “the” was used twice each time in this sentence?

    My mind didn't miss it, does that mean I'm not human?
  • Options
    edited December 2017

    Solidgone said:

    Isn’t it odd that the the human mind doesn’t register the the fact that “the” was used twice each time in this sentence?

    My mind didn't miss it, does that mean I'm not human?
    As they say, there’s always one ;0)
  • Options
    T_C_E said:

    Not a joke, but keeps me amused.......Every time it snows I post a picture of our Xena-Powell playing in the snow and every time someone say's "Where"??imageimage

    Is that a female action hero / boy scout cross?
  • Sponsored links:


  • Options

    T_C_E said:

    Not a joke, but keeps me amused.......Every time it snows I post a picture of our Xena-Powell playing in the snow and every time someone say's "Where"??imageimage

    Is that a female action hero / boy scout cross?
    She's a rescue, Xena was her name when we got her. Powell as in Chris as all our dogs have a Charlton related name. ;)
  • Options
    Did you know Kinder Surprise is German for "unwanted pregnancy''?
  • Options
    I was thinking of running a marathon, but I think it might be too difficult getting all the roads closed and providing enough water for everyone.

  • Options
    edited December 2017
    I sent a food parcel to my former wife. Fed Ex.

  • Options
    edited December 2017
    T_C_E said:

    Not a joke, but keeps me amused.......Every time it snows I post a picture of our Xena-Powell playing in the snow and every time someone say's "Where"??imageimage

    Where??
  • Options
    Halix said:

    T_C_E said:

    Not a joke, but keeps me amused.......Every time it snows I post a picture of our Xena-Powell playing in the snow and every time someone say's "Where"??imageimage

    Where??
    This reminds me of the old New of the World, 'Spot the Ball' competition.

    Ray, perhaps you could start a new one, Spot the Dog.
  • Options
    If you think I'm quoting that @DaveMehmet. I really don't need @Tom-Se9 ringing me again. ;)
Sign In or Register to comment.

Roland Out Forever!