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Moral Dilemma Time: Should I pay for this?
JiMMy 85
Posts: 10,196
Two and a half years ago I scratched a neighbour's car while parking. I put a message in the road's group chat saying it was me and the owner should let me know. A day later the owner got in touch and said it was his car but he couldn't see the scratch. I regretted telling him at this point!
A month later he replied again to say he had taken a closer look and that he will need to get it fixed. I asked him to get a quote and then I would figure out how I would go about dealing with it (almost certainly not through insurance). I didn't hear back. I moved out that road a couple of months later.
Today. exactly 28 months later, I received a message from him:
Basically, we're being offered £300-£500 less, depending on who to believe, than what the value of our car should be with our retailer.
If you think you'd be happy to offer a contribution, after all this time, I'd really appreciate it. I'll leave it with you. Thanks."
He included the screengrab of the message he got from the dealer. "The Skoda would have been £10k if it were not for the scuffs and scratches". I don't know if I am responsible for the entirety of what is being referred to there.
What would you do? What do you think I should do?
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Comments
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Tell him to do one.11
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Agree with this. How do you know what damage may have been caused in the intervening time frame. He’s had enough time to sort it out but he obviously wasn’t that bothered about it. If it eases your conscience a bit then offer him say £100, take it or leave it.Curb_It said:Tell him to do one.7 -
A short message along lines of "Too long has passed, 'mate' sorry. Those various scuffs and scratches as you have now noticed, could have been from all sorts of causes in the natural course of driving, aka wear and tear."1
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I'd suggest after all this time it is not your responsibility. I'd ignore him.
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Ignore it .2
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Block him and be done with it5
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I'd say unfortunately the cut off time was 27 months 🤷♂️5
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Not a chance and it shouldn't be a moral dilemma. That is hilarious0
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Ignore1
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Ask him again for a quote first fixing the damage you caused. That's what you owe him. And you're prepared to pay someone whose job it is to fix things like that. Or, at least you were.
You don't owe him anything at all for depreciation.1 - Sponsored links:
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Block his number. I assume he doesnt have a forwarding address.0
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Do you have any ongoing relationship with this guy? If not I’d just ignore it. If so, I’d just ignore it.2
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This is ludicrous. Do not reply.0
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I’d reply back to him…. In about 28 months time and tell him to do one.8
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Mate, I would have preferred it if you had kept my request private.
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I would refer him to the reply given in the case Arkell v Pressdram.2
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Where I believe it was held that the claimant should “go fuck himself”.bobmunro said:I would refer him to the reply given in the case Arkell v Pressdram.0 -
Trade proce to respray a panel of a car is about £100.
You have done the decent thing, he has been bone idle in getting it dealt with. Leave it a couple of years and reply, seems fair given the circumstance. There is a chance you will see this layabout in Sainsbury's one day so may wish to avoid any awkwardness, if you really want to avoid that offer him £50 and long out any reply but if I'm being hard-nosed ignore it. You did the decent thing at the time and that was over 2 years ago1 -
SuedeAdidas said:
Where I believe it was held that the claimant should “go fuck himself”.bobmunro said:I would refer him to the reply given in the case Arkell v Pressdram.
An unlikely piece of British legal history occurred in what is now referred to as the "case" of Arkell v. Pressdram (1971). The plaintiff was the subject of an article relating to illicit payments, and the magazine (Private Eye) had ample evidence to back up the article. Arkell's lawyers wrote a letter which concluded: "His attitude to damages will be governed by the nature of your reply."The magazine's response was, in full: "We acknowledge your letter of 29th April referring to Mr J. Arkell. We note that Mr Arkell's attitude to damages will be governed by the nature of our reply and would therefore be grateful if you would inform us what his attitude to damages would be, were he to learn that the nature of our reply is as follows: fuck off."
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I don’t think he’d struggle to find me if he really wanted to. But gut feeling is he wouldn’t bother.JohnBoyUK said:Block his number. I assume he doesnt have a forwarding address.Appreciate all the replies. On my own tonight and I ate an edible so it did feel like a quandary. Reading the comments makes me realise how obvious it is that it’s an easy decision.I’m going to leave it for two and a half years then reply.6 - Sponsored links:
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Offer to tally up EVERY single scruff and scratch on the car. Divide it into £300 and tell him you'll pay for your scratch.1
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🍄1
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No chance.
Alternatively, ask him for his bank details so you can make the payment, then pass them onto me so I can tell my cousin Femi in Lagos.0 -
You’re giving it consideration because you’re a decent fella.But you were being decent in the first place in making clear you’d be happy to help. Pretty much everything in life has an expiry and anything beyond 3-6 months of your original offer was it for something like this.You were happy to make a contribution then, but you don’t feel its valid now and I suspect deep down they know that full well. Wish them well and move on0
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It reminds me of when I sold my car privately many years ago.
The bloke asked to test drive it and I agreed as long as I went with him.
He drove ridiculously aggressively over speed humps etc and I was biting my tongue not to say something.
He bought the car, sold as seen.
Some months later his alleged girl friend turned up claiming the gear box had gone and asking me to pay up.
I told her to do one.0 -
As an act of v goodwill you offered to pay for the repair at the time not any loss in value. It was his choice not to have it repaired. Ignore him.1
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To be fair to him, he could have asked for money when you offered and he didn't which makes me think he is probably a decent enough fella.
His text is out of the blue and way too late, not sure what he is trying to achieve now and clearly the £500 is a lot of scratches etc not just yours.
I would either ignore completely or offer a small, say £50 amount if you feel appropriate.
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If you still have the message of you asking for a quote, I would find and reply to that message you sent him to remind him you asked for a quote, didn't receive a response and since it's been over a month without response you consider the matter closed now. Then just ignore any further requests.
I asked chat GPT if dialogue between two people in business comes to a stop, how long until the matter is considered closed so based on the below, even though its not the business world I would still say 4 weeks max is fair, he can't expect you to have kept money aside for this for over 2 years. One month/paycheque is enough.💼 Typical Timeframes
Situation When to Consider It Closed Routine or low-stakes communication (e.g. confirming a date, minor clarification) After 5–7 business days with no response Moderate importance (e.g. proposal, follow-up on an idea, client response) After 10–14 business days with no reply despite a follow-up High-stakes or ongoing partnership (e.g. contract negotiation, key decision) After 3–4 weeks of silence and at least one polite follow-up or “closing the loop” message 0 -
This ⬆️Kap10 said:As an act of v goodwill you offered to pay for the repair at the time not any loss in value. It was his choice not to have it repaired. Ignore him.0 -
Personally i would consider telling him to do one, but would probably, if i could afford it at the time, offer him £100 as I had caused damage to his car.I'd point out i felt under no obligation given the time elapsed to make any payment at all and it easnt clear the scratch o had made, which he had said he couldnt see at the time was that being referred to for the reduction in the value.
i'd then feel pleased I had done the right thing and you know karma can be a right bitch and i don't fancy coming back as a layer of car paint.0
