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Club cricket thread

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  • That's cricket..especially during the holiday season 
  • edited August 17
    Our twos all but completed relegation yesterday 124 all out for us , including a back to back league duck for me ffs
    2nd bottom against 3rd bottom,  they knocked em off 3 down in no time as we managed to drop 4 catches before they got to 50.

    shit season having been promoted last year , availability has been appalling and we’ve scrimped and scraped the barrel at times with players who shouldn’t be anywhere near league cricket ., the low point being a 9 man team all out for 38 
    My body is hurting but I’ll continue to give it a go, maybe a year or two more league cricket before just Sunday friendlies for me.
    waiting for little shit to grow a bit before he can play mens cricket and then I’m gonna get a Sunday game with me and the 4 boys (petrolhead can’t hold a bat but can bowl recklessly) before I retire in to the sunset 

    Ones lost a low scorer away at Tillingham and are heading for a top half finish in their first season in the mid Essex prem .
    Just looked up one of your scorecards. The way you and presumably one of your boys (WAIT NO he's been playing since 2005. Lol you have a doppelganger?) are disambiguated on the scorecard is truly magnificent work
  • oohaahmortimer said:
    Our twos all but completed relegation yesterday 124 all out for us , including a back to back league duck for me ffs
    2nd bottom against 3rd bottom,  they knocked em off 3 down in no time as we managed to drop 4 catches before they got to 50.

    shit season having been promoted last year , availability has been appalling and we’ve scrimped and scraped the barrel at times with players who shouldn’t be anywhere near league cricket ., the low point being a 9 man team all out for 38 
    My body is hurting but I’ll continue to give it a go, maybe a year or two more league cricket before just Sunday friendlies for me.
    waiting for little shit to grow a bit before he can play mens cricket and then I’m gonna get a Sunday game with me and the 4 boys (petrolhead can’t hold a bat but can bowl recklessly) before I retire in to the sunset 

    Ones lost a low scorer away at Tillingham and are heading for a top half finish in their first season in the mid Essex prem .
    That'll be worth waiting for. There can't be many teams that have fielded a father and four sons. 
  • My mates sons play for Ashtead in Surrey and they have an overseas player Simon Keene who’s been living with them last and this summer, he’s a top lad who plays for Auckland and just been called up to NZ A squad to visit SA . 
    Boffin and Peter Kay played golf with him and mates son at London club on Friday 
    He had his last match yesterday and signed off with 201(151) before he meets up next weekend with the A squad .

    bizarrely last week Ashtead  1s and 4s tied and this week their 2s and 3s tied !!
  • Leuth said:
    Our twos all but completed relegation yesterday 124 all out for us , including a back to back league duck for me ffs
    2nd bottom against 3rd bottom,  they knocked em off 3 down in no time as we managed to drop 4 catches before they got to 50.

    shit season having been promoted last year , availability has been appalling and we’ve scrimped and scraped the barrel at times with players who shouldn’t be anywhere near league cricket ., the low point being a 9 man team all out for 38 
    My body is hurting but I’ll continue to give it a go, maybe a year or two more league cricket before just Sunday friendlies for me.
    waiting for little shit to grow a bit before he can play mens cricket and then I’m gonna get a Sunday game with me and the 4 boys (petrolhead can’t hold a bat but can bowl recklessly) before I retire in to the sunset 

    Ones lost a low scorer away at Tillingham and are heading for a top half finish in their first season in the mid Essex prem .
    Just looked up one of your scorecards. The way you and presumably one of your boys (WAIT NO he's been playing since 2005. Lol you have a doppelganger?) are disambiguated on the scorecard is truly magnificent work
    There’s two David Smiths and he’s called Super and I’m the shit one 
  • Petition to have 'Shit' added to the middle of your name on play-cricket imo 
  • I’ve asked … but club chairman not keen 
  • Our twos all but completed relegation yesterday 124 all out for us , including a back to back league duck for me ffs
    2nd bottom against 3rd bottom,  they knocked em off 3 down in no time as we managed to drop 4 catches before they got to 50.

    shit season having been promoted last year , availability has been appalling and we’ve scrimped and scraped the barrel at times with players who shouldn’t be anywhere near league cricket ., the low point being a 9 man team all out for 38 
    My body is hurting but I’ll continue to give it a go, maybe a year or two more league cricket before just Sunday friendlies for me.
    waiting for little shit to grow a bit before he can play mens cricket and then I’m gonna get a Sunday game with me and the 4 boys (petrolhead can’t hold a bat but can bowl recklessly) before I retire in to the sunset 

    Ones lost a low scorer away at Tillingham and are heading for a top half finish in their first season in the mid Essex prem .
    Shane Warnes motto.." never ever give up " 
  • I’ve asked … but club chairman not keen 
    What lolwray said 
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  • My mates sons play for Ashtead in Surrey and they have an overseas player Simon Keene who’s been living with them last and this summer, he’s a top lad who plays for Auckland and just been called up to NZ A squad to visit SA . 
    Boffin and Peter Kay played golf with him and mates son at London club on Friday 
    He had his last match yesterday and signed off with 201(151) before he meets up next weekend with the A squad .

    bizarrely last week Ashtead  1s and 4s tied and this week their 2s and 3s tied !!
    I did Ashtead in a national cup game at Gravesend back in April.  Keene is a good player!
  • Tunbridge Wells won the KCL T20 finals today beating hosts Hayes in the final.  Gravesend and Sandwich were the losing semi-finalists. 
  • Congratulations to Whitstable for finishing runners up in the Championship and for joining the Champions, Sevenoaks Vine, in the Premier League next season following a thrashing of Folkestone (180 all out vs 44 all out) yesterday. Thoroughly deserved. Bickley Park will, following their defeat at the hands of Bromley Common yesterday, fight out third place with Canterbury. You don't beat the Vine and lose to them by 6 runs in the return by not having a decent team but the combination of too many players not turning up and performing on occasions and a tiny squad made things difficult for them.

    As for the Premier League, Tunbridge Wells were confirmed winners yesterday so well done to them. Holmesdale are going to have the wooden spoon but the other relegation place will be going to Blackheath (last year's Champions), Minster or Sandwich. Next Saturday is going to be a nervous day for those three sides. 
  • edited August 31
    Down to only 10 players I told skipper to not bowl or bat me cos I’m injured (fell over in the inter club match and fucked my knee up batting pissed last Sunday 🤦‍♂️)  in our dead rubber …
    oppo went from 60/6 ish to notch 150/9 in 40 overs , I was brought on first change “give it a go”and my 3 nurofen and 3 paracetamol body dragged itself through the motions to bowl a credible 8 overs 1-17 with their main scorer being dropped in his 20s and 30s off me and he went on to get 69 of their runs .
    He pissed me off not being ready twice in 4 balls when I’m as slow as fuck cos I couldn’t move properly, second time he stood away I went up and bowled underarm … then sarcastically asked if he was ready each time before I bowled the last two in the over . That wound me up and made me bowl better and go through the pain barrier …
    We did our usual chuff and went to 71/6 with just 3 wickets left but the skipper 37 and a seasons first 53 got us down to needing 5 off 5 and our in batsmen got run out so I entered the fray all set up to be the hero with 5 needed off 4 balls and me on strike I came down the track a Good couple of strides looking to target the less populated leg side boundary and with a gentle swipe of the bat duly missed it and got rapped on the pads  long way down the track .
    Scrambled back in to my crease as our umpire (young player) gave me out lbw ….
    what a complete bell I am …
    I could argue I was a long way down and could easily have been given not out but it was genuinely pathetic by me completing 3 in 4 league ducks and this one a golden to sign out for this season as my faux pas saw us go bottom of the table having finished top 12 months previous. 
    I’m going to get scanned etc to sort out my wanky knees and get my eyes sorted with some IOL so I might be able to catch or see the ball batting again and move quicker than a snail .
    Our ones had the chance to finish a creditable 3rd in their first season in the mid Essex prem playing against already relegated and bottom of the table old Chelmsfordians and we were all out for 105 and lost by 3 wickets to end the season in 4th .
  • Congratulations to Whitstable for finishing runners up in the Championship and for joining the Champions, Sevenoaks Vine, in the Premier League next season following a thrashing of Folkestone (180 all out vs 44 all out) yesterday. Thoroughly deserved. Bickley Park will, following their defeat at the hands of Bromley Common yesterday, fight out third place with Canterbury. You don't beat the Vine and lose to them by 6 runs in the return by not having a decent team but the combination of too many players not turning up and performing on occasions and a tiny squad made things difficult for them.

    As for the Premier League, Tunbridge Wells were confirmed winners yesterday so well done to them. Holmesdale are going to have the wooden spoon but the other relegation place will be going to Blackheath (last year's Champions), Minster or Sandwich. Next Saturday is going to be a nervous day for those three sides. 
    Could you talk me though Bickley 3s' day of absolute seppuku that's relegated them and rendered my lot safe from relegation, btw? Like, knowing Bexleyheath and us are playing each other on the last day and still essentially tying the noose, putting it around their neck and handing Hayes the lever? 
  • Leuth said:
    Congratulations to Whitstable for finishing runners up in the Championship and for joining the Champions, Sevenoaks Vine, in the Premier League next season following a thrashing of Folkestone (180 all out vs 44 all out) yesterday. Thoroughly deserved. Bickley Park will, following their defeat at the hands of Bromley Common yesterday, fight out third place with Canterbury. You don't beat the Vine and lose to them by 6 runs in the return by not having a decent team but the combination of too many players not turning up and performing on occasions and a tiny squad made things difficult for them.

    As for the Premier League, Tunbridge Wells were confirmed winners yesterday so well done to them. Holmesdale are going to have the wooden spoon but the other relegation place will be going to Blackheath (last year's Champions), Minster or Sandwich. Next Saturday is going to be a nervous day for those three sides. 
    Could you talk me though Bickley 3s' day of absolute seppuku that's relegated them and rendered my lot safe from relegation, btw? Like, knowing Bexleyheath and us are playing each other on the last day and still essentially tying the noose, putting it around their neck and handing Hayes the lever? 
    They've had to blood a lot of youngsters throughout the course of the year but the table doesn't lie. 
  • Leuth said:
    Congratulations to Whitstable for finishing runners up in the Championship and for joining the Champions, Sevenoaks Vine, in the Premier League next season following a thrashing of Folkestone (180 all out vs 44 all out) yesterday. Thoroughly deserved. Bickley Park will, following their defeat at the hands of Bromley Common yesterday, fight out third place with Canterbury. You don't beat the Vine and lose to them by 6 runs in the return by not having a decent team but the combination of too many players not turning up and performing on occasions and a tiny squad made things difficult for them.

    As for the Premier League, Tunbridge Wells were confirmed winners yesterday so well done to them. Holmesdale are going to have the wooden spoon but the other relegation place will be going to Blackheath (last year's Champions), Minster or Sandwich. Next Saturday is going to be a nervous day for those three sides. 
    Could you talk me though Bickley 3s' day of absolute seppuku that's relegated them and rendered my lot safe from relegation, btw? Like, knowing Bexleyheath and us are playing each other on the last day and still essentially tying the noose, putting it around their neck and handing Hayes the lever? 
    They've had to blood a lot of youngsters throughout the course of the year but the table doesn't lie. 
    But agreeing to a 22-over game then batting first! Absurd 
  • What has happened to Blackheath ? 
  • What has happened to Blackheath ? 
    They only avoided relegation on the last day two years ago; last year Champions. This year, been very difficult for them - bad start, injuries, loss of form, overseas not as good as previous, etc. 
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  • Well done Boffin! Nobody will ever be able to take that away from you and may this be the first of many.

    Dad has never really spoken about your Mum on here but it's great to read that it isn't just her intelligence, but also her sporting brilliance and selflessness, that has been passed down to you. I'm sure you've inherited some of your Dad's unique skillsets too, for example his unique way of using euphemisms when others might not be quite as subtle in describing something not particularly pleasant and of course how to best utilise your time when sitting on the khazi. 


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