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Has the Jokes thread disappeared?
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I used to go fishing all by myself .. but now I go with Annette.6
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That last one made me wonder. We haven’t heard from Seth lately. Hope he’s ok.2
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Two cricketers meet each other in the street..one says to the other " I going to have a net later " ..the other one says " lucky fella Annette's a lovely girl "1
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He's currently serving a ban mate.Blackheathen said:That last one made me wonder. We haven’t heard from Seth lately. Hope he’s ok.0 -
Thanks bollox. I’m not up with these things.0
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First time tonight I've actually had a look through this thread.
And to the OP I can confirm, yes it has.4 -
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I've heard of a bandmate but not a ban mate. That's what I like about this forum, people are so friendly.bolloxbolder said:
He's currently serving a ban mate.Blackheathen said:That last one made me wonder. We haven’t heard from Seth lately. Hope he’s ok.0 -
I was helping Cat Stevens on a camp site this morning
His awning had broken12 -
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I told my wife to embrace her mistakes ... she gave me a hug.7
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So I went to this Eskimo restaurant.I asked to see the menu.The waiter said "we don't have a lot of options, so l'll just call them out to you""We have Whale Meat steaks, we have Whale Meat Curry, we have Whale Meat stir-fry and of course we have the Vera Lynn"I said "what's the Vera Lynn?"He said "Whale Meat again"20
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The Rocky Horror Picture Show is the only Rocky film without Sylvester Stallone.0
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I spent £300 on a limo and found out the fee doesn't include a driver. I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.14
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Evidence of alien abduction on the Walworth Road.2 -
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I am getting totally fed up with people complaining about the price of things.£1.25 for a cup of tea.£1.75 a cup of coffee.Slice of cake £2.50.Parking 75p an hour.Any more of this, I’m not inviting them round anymore22
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Sister Mary entered the Monastery of Silence.The Priest said, 'Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so.'Sister Mary lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her, 'Sister Mary, you have been here for 5 years. You can speak two words.'Sister Mary said, 'Hard bed.''I'm sorry to hear that,' the Priest said, 'We will get you a better bed.'After another 5 years, Sister Mary was called by the Priest. 'You may say another two words, Sister Mary.'Cold food,' said Sister Mary, and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future.On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary into his office. 'You may say two words today.''I quit,' said Sister Mary.'It's probably best', said the Priest, 'You've done Nothing but fucking moan since you've been here.'20
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I'm afraid that joke has already been on here. Great joke mind.0
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Rang the RSPCA to say I’d seen a suitcase full of kittens on the side of the road.“Were they moving?” They asked
i said “I don’t know for sure but guess that would explain the suitcase!!”7 -
My Mums parents were called Pearl and Dean but to me they were Grandma and Grandpapapapapapa
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“Man walks into a restaurant with a crab under his arm and says, ‘Do you make crab cakes?’ Manager answers, ‘Yes, we do.’ ‘Good,’ says the man, ‘because it’s his birthday.’”
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The doctor liked to go to a cocktail bar near the hospital after his shift for an Almond Daiquiri.
One day the bartender ran out of almonds but had some hickory nuts instead, so used that.
When the doctor tasted his cocktail he asked the bartender if it was his usual Almond Daiquiri, ‘no’ was the reply ‘it’s a Hickory Daiquiri Doc’.5 -
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Baby Changing Stations are the biggest hoax. The parents always come out with the same kid.7
