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Scouser Joke

edited January 2009 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
A scouser walks into the local Job Centre, marches straight up to the counter and says,

'Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing benefits. I'd really rather have a job.'

The benefits worker behind the counter says,

'Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting Salary is £200,000 a year.'

The guy, wide-eyed, says, 'You're bullshittin' me!'

The benefits worker says, 'Yeah, well... you started it.'


  • LOL

    Thought you was going to say FRANCIS JEFFERS for a minute.

    Good one.
  • What does Cristiano Ronaldo's Ferrari have in common with his free kicks?

    Used to seem very impressive, but look a lot less so now after being repeatedly driven into the wall.

    *gets coat*
  • I heard Ronaldo complained to the police, as the wall wasn't back 10 yards.

    "Shares cloakroom with Mclovin"
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Roland Out!