Tinker’s cusses

Monkey's Spank = Wank (can I say that nowadays?)

You can’t have your cake and eat it. Why would you want cake you can’t eat?

Not enough room to swing a cat.
Nothing whatsoever to do with cats.
It’s yet another expression from the long list of Navy related ones.
The cat being referred to is in fact, “the cat o’ nine tails.”

Scoham said:

thai malaysia addick said:

You can’t have your cake and eat it. Why would you want cake you can’t eat?

You can't have your cake and eat it (too) is a popular English idiomatic proverb or figure of speech.[1] The proverb literally means "you cannot simultaneously retain your cake and eat it".

Thanks. I'm going to use this version from now on. 

thai malaysia addick said:

You can’t have your cake and eat it. Why would you want cake you can’t eat?

I believe we've gone round the houses (there's another one for you) on having your cake and eating it. You are absolutely right @thai malaysia addick, it should be "you can't eat your cake and have it", but at some point in history, someone who couldn't give a tinker's cuss for logic switched the words around, everybody followed suit (there's another one) and Bob's your uncle... (and onother). 

This fun sentence takes on seven different meanings depending on which word is emphasized: 

[I] never said she stole my money. — Someone else said it. 

I [never] said she stole my money. — I didn't say it. 

I never [said] she stole my money. — I only implied it. 

I never said [she] stole my money. — I said someone did, not necessarily her. 

I never said she [stole] my money. — I considered it borrowed. 

I never said she stole [my] money. — Only that she stole money,  not necessarily my own. 

I never said she stole my [money]. — She stole something of mine, not my money. 

Discuss.

sillav nitram said:

You can ‘sling your hook’ is it a reference to the Captain in Peter Pan?

No! Think it MIGHT be another old naval term, possibly to do with rigging your hammock?

I am standing by waiting be corrected.

SuedeAdidas said:

“Cheap at half the price”.......this one never makes sense to me in the context in which it is used. 

Seems to me like it it should be “Cheap at twice the price”?!?

The word cheap has changed meaning, it used to mean substandard. So really the saying is meaning it would still be crap at half the price. 

"Just sell the club and fuck off" is an old Flemish saying meaning, just sell the Club and fuck off.

addick05 said:

sillav nitram said:

You can ‘sling your hook’ is it a reference to the Captain in Peter Pan?

No! Think it MIGHT be another old naval term, possibly to do with rigging your hammock?

I am standing by waiting be corrected.

I used to think that chiropractors were useless, but I stand corrected.

Enough is all you get.....?

There's an Elephant in the room.

A jumbo problem which really should be dealt with. 

Where did this idiom come from ?

Acab said:

SoundAsa£ said:

Not enough room to swing a cat.
Nothing whatsoever to do with cats.
It’s yet another expression from the long list of Navy related ones.
The cat being referred to is in fact, “the cat o’ nine tails.”

Where is ‘the neck of the woods’?

Just below Chris's head.

SoundAsa£ said:

Not enough room to swing a cat.
Nothing whatsoever to do with cats.
It’s yet another expression from the long list of Navy related ones.
The cat being referred to is in fact, “the cat o’ nine tails

Another nautical saying, " Who's turn in the barrel." Apparently this refers to having to do an unpleasant job.

In olden days they used to take turns in a barrel with a hole in it, due to the lack of women on ships.