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The Worlds Best Pub ?

Goonerhater
Goonerhater Posts: 12,677
edited May 2008 in Not Sports Related
If you create the Worlds best boozer what would it have in it etc ?

1/ Big but lots of snug bars and annexes.
2/ cart loads of TRAINED bar staff that speak English as a first language (note gansta aint a language).
3/ Large screen TV in the larger areas of the pub. Not by the main door.
4/ Smaller TVs everywhere else.
5/ The Worlds biggest Juke box.
6/ Proper restaurant area and rolls etc on every day £2 a pop to be sold at the bar.
7/ Island type bar all sides with loads of bar staff.
8/ garden area with good seating and shade.
9/ Sunday free nibbles-- roast pots, cheese, prawns, roll mops, nuts etc.
10/ All female bar staff must have a good cleavage .
11/ Gooners banned.
12/ Small stagged area for bands.
13/ No pool tables.
14/ Tom and Billy on the door .
«134

Comments

  • leftbehind
    leftbehind Posts: 8,581
    sounds about right

    2 being the main one
  • Goonerhater
    Goonerhater Posts: 12,677
    Cider on tap.
  • Goonerhater
    Goonerhater Posts: 12,677
    No such thing mate, and asking for it brings instant ban. Go to boozer down the road which sells "Irish cider" and "English Guiness".
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 58,139
    Don't care where someone is gone as long as they are an efficient barman.

    Please tell me of any pub you have been in where the barman speaks 'gangsta' because i cannot think of one ???
  • Goonerhater
    Goonerhater Posts: 12,677
    edited May 2008
    Royal Oak.
    Init nuff respect.


    ohhh yes an UBoat commanders --- banned
  • uncle
    uncle Posts: 4,209
    It used to be the morris in harold hill but its a dive now
  • Goonerhater
    Goonerhater Posts: 12,677
    Uncle-- it dont exist mate we/you are making building it.

    anyone singing Bubbles is banned as well.
  • CHG
    CHG Posts: 4,534
    6) Rolls, great shout, I only drink in the Albert in Greenwich on the back of that.
  • Goonerhater
    Goonerhater Posts: 12,677
    edited May 2008
    Garden would have to have a BBQ area as well for the one week whenit can be used.


    Large view of Sir Clives 3 goal at Wembley, over bar.

    Real huge log fire in one bar with huge arm chairs

    Lots of shelves etc all over to rest your beer on.
  • Goonerhater
    Goonerhater Posts: 12,677
    Landlord that actually seems glad people are using the pub and is friendly.

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  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 58,139
    Snacks are very important:

    Crisps will be either Golden Wonder or Tavern, proper pub crisps, and with only 4 flavours on sale:

    Salt n Vinegar
    Cheese n Onion
    Prawn Cocktail
    Beef

    Anyone ordering Mediterrean Tomoto and Basil, or Chilli flavoured, will be pinned to the dartboard

    Nuts will be KP only, and will be salted for the ladies, dry roasted for the men, honey roasted for the metrosexuals

    Only other snacks will be Pork Scratchings and Monster Munch Flamin Hot

    Crusty rolls wrapped in clingfilm will be:

    Cheese and onoin
    Cheese and pickle
    Ham and tomato
    Roast beef and horseraddish

    Note: Tuna or prawn munchers not welcome. No plaice for fish, in a roll, in a pub
  • Ketman
    Ketman Posts: 6,796
    15/ Decent Quality Sound System (Not Bass Heavy they sound Shite)
    16/ Discrete High Spec small DJ Booth in Corner (Live DJ's Create a better Atmostphere)
    17/ Bouncers on Door with Common Sense
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 58,139
    [cite]Posted By: Ketman[/cite]15/ Decent Quality Sound System (Not Bass Heavy they sound Shite)
    16/ Discrete High Spec small DJ Booth in Corner (Live DJ's Create a better Atmostphere)
    17/ Bouncers on Door with Common Sense

    All banned from my pub, open a discoteque if you want to be a ponce.
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 58,139
    Meat raffle on a Sunday lunch

    Band playing on a bank holiday lunchtime
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 58,139
    Quiz night (Sunday only, first sunday in the month)
  • The Equaliser
    The Equaliser Posts: 762
    Happy Hour.
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 58,139
    Sweepstake for the sunday afternoon game
    Some form of 100 club
    A dart team (men only)
    A sunday football team
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 58,139
    That's the problem, with all that high-tech music shite, you won't be able to 'hear,hear'.

    Jukebox with not to big a selection. Pub anthems, Bowie, soft rock, bit of Marley if there are ladies present, Meatloaf, Britpop - (NOW albums banned)
  • adamtheaddick
    adamtheaddick Posts: 8,664
    meat raffle ha ha ha, i went to a pub in gillingham last year for a bit of sunday lunch and they were having a meat raffle it was fecking hilliarous!! they were lapping it up!!! my dad said he hadnt seen a meat raffle in pub since 1985. good to see the folks down there are keeping it real.
  • The Equaliser
    The Equaliser Posts: 762
    edited May 2008
    Soap in the toilets, especially if serving food.

    Have plenty of bad habits but that it isnt one of them.

    I'm definitely getting old.

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  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 58,139
    [cite]Posted By: adamtheaddick[/cite]meat raffle ha ha ha, i went to a pub in gillingham last year for a bit of sunday lunch and they were having a meat raffle it was fecking hilliarous!! they were lapping it up!!! my dad said he hadnt seen a meat raffle in pub since 1985. good to see the folks down there are keeping it real.

    The William Camden in Bexleyheath still do on a sunday lunchtime i think during the football season (their team run it to raise funds). We used to always pop in after our game. Trouble was it was normally the start of an all-dayer and we'd be moving from pub to pub carrying legs of lamb and packs of sausages....
  • Goonerhater
    Goonerhater Posts: 12,677
    edited May 2008
    Over 21z only.

    Already said Tom and Billy on door. Curb-It as the inside female bouncer.

    Snacks as AFKA said.

    Meat raffle defo.

    Darts in an annenex but no pool tables.

    50/60z music nite

    Curry nite in restaurant area.


    ALL STUDENTS BANNED.
  • Goonerhater
    Goonerhater Posts: 12,677
    Toilets have to be spotless. Proper paper towels. proper soap. HOT WATER !
  • adamtheaddick
    adamtheaddick Posts: 8,664
    Lock in's for the lads.
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 58,139
    Late licence for St Patricks Day, and free Guinness hats for all patrons
  • Goonerhater
    Goonerhater Posts: 12,677
    edited May 2008
    any one called AFKA shot on sight on site.
  • DA9
    DA9 Posts: 11,109
    On tap taxi service outside and Kebab shop no more than 10 feet away, oh yeah, the lib & the cons
  • Ketman
    Ketman Posts: 6,796
    [cite]Posted By: AFKABartram[/cite]
    [cite]Posted By: Ketman[/cite]15/ Decent Quality Sound System (Not Bass Heavy they sound Shite)
    16/ Discrete High Spec small DJ Booth in Corner (Live DJ's Create a better Atmostphere)
    17/ Bouncers on Door with Common Sense

    All banned from my pub, open a discoteque if you want to be a ponce.

    You are Creating a Wetherspoons = No Atmostphere type pub sounds like a bleedin working man's club.

    I am not talking about a huge 10K system I am talking about the speakers that play good quality music that you DONT HAVE TO SHOUT OVER because it is not invasive. Pub with no Music equals a Chavspoons or Old man's Pub with no Women FACT !
  • T_C_E
    T_C_E Posts: 16,450
    [cite]Posted By: Goonerhater[/cite]Landlord that actually seems glad people are using the pub and is friendly.

    Now thats pushing it a bit!!!!! ; )
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 58,139
    Decent pot plants and hanging baskets gracing the front.

    Car park sign saying non-patrons and palace fans will be clamped / clumped

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