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“we are now approaching…Kidbrooke”

PragueAddick
PragueAddick Posts: 22,185
in Not Sports Related
And as we rolled in, on our way to take my sister to birthday dinner in Borough Market, we looked across to the opposite platform. There a mań standing near the edge of the platform,  has taken out his dick and commences to take a piss. It is a very long piss. It takes as long as most of the time our train stays. At the end he carefully waggles his dick to ensure every last drop is expelled. Then he zips up, and rolls along the platform. Nobody else on the platform appears to notice. 

Welcome to Kidbrooke. Welcome back to Plague Island.
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Comments

  • Six-a-bag-of-nuts
    Six-a-bag-of-nuts Posts: 8,133
    Classy.
    Just goes to show, you can take the piss out of Kidbrooke but you can't take Kidbrooke out of the piss  ;)
  • Six-a-bag-of-nuts
    Six-a-bag-of-nuts Posts: 8,133
    The soul of the Ferrier lives on 
  • iaitch
    iaitch Posts: 10,274
    Maybe he got caught out by your train being on time?
  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,131
    edited March 2022
    PragueAddick said:
    And as we rolled in, on our way to take my sister to birthday dinner in Borough Market, we looked across to the opposite platform. There a mań standing near the edge of the platform,  has taken out his dick and commences to take a piss. It is a very long piss. It takes as long as most of the time our train stays. At the end he carefully waggles his dick to ensure every last drop is expelled. Then he zips up, and rolls along the platform. Nobody else on the platform appears to notice. 

    Welcome to Kidbrooke. Welcome back to Plague Island.
    Wasn’t me .. MrDick is innocent 
  • oohaahmortimer
    oohaahmortimer Posts: 34,226
    Oh South London …. Is wonderful 
  • SporadicAddick
    SporadicAddick Posts: 6,911
    PragueAddick said:
    And as we rolled in, on our way to take my sister to birthday dinner in Borough Market, we looked across to the opposite platform. There a mań standing near the edge of the platform,  has taken out his dick and commences to take a piss. It is a very long piss. It takes as long as most of the time our train stays. At the end he carefully waggles his dick to ensure every last drop is expelled. Then he zips up, and rolls along the platform. Nobody else on the platform appears to notice. 

    Welcome to Kidbrooke. Welcome back to Plague Island.
    An amusing story, and I'm sure the highlighted part was meant in good spirit, but despite some of the cretins that live on this fair isle, it's still one of the greatest countries on earth in which to live.  
  • mendonca
    mendonca Posts: 9,423
    Train station toilets are usually closed and most trains do not have any toilets on them!

    Bit of a dilemma I would say? The last 4 pints always catch up!

  • SuedeAdidas
    SuedeAdidas Posts: 7,763
    PragueAddick said:
    And as we rolled in, on our way to take my sister to birthday dinner in Borough Market, we looked across to the opposite platform. There a mań standing near the edge of the platform,  has taken out his dick and commences to take a piss. It is a very long piss. It takes as long as most of the time our train stays. At the end he carefully waggles his dick to ensure every last drop is expelled. Then he zips up, and rolls along the platform. Nobody else on the platform appears to notice. 

    Welcome to Kidbrooke. Welcome back to Plague Island.
    A clear sign of gentrification. 

    He’d have been curling one out back in the Wat Tyler days. 
  • Davo55
    Davo55 Posts: 7,847
    Are you sure you weren't at.....

    TfL Press Release - Cockfosters becomes 80th step-free London Underground station TfL Image - Cockfosters


  • bobmunro
    bobmunro Posts: 20,907
    oohaahmortimer said:
    Oh South London …. Is wonderful 
    or

    [Name of a very nice area] is a shithole, I wanna go home.

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  • Raith_C_Chattonell
    Raith_C_Chattonell Posts: 5,705
    Sounds risky to me.  

    Water and electricity don't mix well.  I mean I don't suppose it'd be a pleasant jolt, penile electrocution is very painful ... so I've been told  :/. 
  • Dizzle
    Dizzle Posts: 5,190
    Raith_C_Chattonell said:
    Sounds risky to me.  

    Water and electricity don't mix well.  I mean I don't suppose it'd be a pleasant jolt, penile electrocution is very painful ... so I've been told  :/. 
    You’ve tried the old piss on the electric fly catcher bat things haven’t you 
  • Acab
    Acab Posts: 726
    Driving down Upper St Martins Lane one day mid summer afternoon at the junction of Long Acre,  Garrick,Crabourne street in the middle of junction hundreds of tourists about a guy doing a Kidbrooke in the middle of road not a soul said a word.
  • Chunes
    Chunes Posts: 17,412
    When I was in Shanghai people were just doing that in the road willy nilly. 
  • Mendonca In Asdas
    Mendonca In Asdas Posts: 22,673
    edited March 2022
    PragueAddick said:
    And as we rolled in, on our way to take my sister to birthday dinner in Borough Market, we looked across to the opposite platform. There a mań standing near the edge of the platform,  has taken out his dick and commences to take a piss. It is a very long piss. It takes as long as most of the time our train stays. At the end he carefully waggles his dick to ensure every last drop is expelled. Then he zips up, and rolls along the platform. Nobody else on the platform appears to notice. 

    Welcome to Kidbrooke. Welcome back to Plague Island.
    Yeah, sorry about that, the welcome to Kidbrooke part, to avoid confusion.
  • PragueAddick
    PragueAddick Posts: 22,185
    Raith_C_Chattonell said:
    Sounds risky to me.  

    Water and electricity don't mix well.  I mean I don't suppose it'd be a pleasant jolt, penile electrocution is very painful ... so I've been told  :/. 
    Thats what we were all thinking, but he seemed to be conscious of that much, he wasnt standing right on the edge, his piss fell on the studded part of the platform next to the edge.

    @SporadicAddick, yes I know, right now wandering around my childhood home I can agree but I only flew in yesterday afternoon, first time in 2.5 years, and, well….
  • SporadicAddick
    SporadicAddick Posts: 6,911
    PragueAddick said:
    Raith_C_Chattonell said:
    Sounds risky to me.  

    Water and electricity don't mix well.  I mean I don't suppose it'd be a pleasant jolt, penile electrocution is very painful ... so I've been told  :/. 
    Thats what we were all thinking, but he seemed to be conscious of that much, he wasnt standing right on the edge, his piss fell on the studded part of the platform next to the edge.

    @SporadicAddick, yes I know, right now wandering around my childhood home I can agree but I only flew in yesterday afternoon, first time in 2.5 years, and, well….
     :)

    I hope he washed his hands afterwards. 
  • Macronate
    Macronate Posts: 12,914
    Much like Hawaiians do when they place a garland around your neck to welcome you to their island, this is Kidbrooke's way of doing it.
  • seth plum
    seth plum Posts: 53,448
    Are you sure it wasn’t a plastic dick, like a Theatre prop?
    Perhaps you should have given it a squeeze to check?
  • Dave Rudd
    Dave Rudd Posts: 2,868
    seth plum said:
    Are you sure it wasn’t a plastic dick, like a Theatre prop?
    Perhaps you should have given it a squeeze to check?
    @seth plum ... what kind of 'theatre' do you go to?

    "Oh, yes ... it's one of those theatrical dicks.  I'm an actor, you know."

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  • eaststandmike
    eaststandmike Posts: 14,956
    Mr Largo is quiet, he often complains about no toilets on trains, maybe he was squeezing one out before boarding. 
  • Friend Or Defoe
    Friend Or Defoe Posts: 18,125
    PragueAddick said:
    And as we rolled in, on our way to take my sister to birthday dinner in Borough Market, we looked across to the opposite platform. There a mań standing near the edge of the platform,  has taken out his dick and commences to take a piss. It is a very long piss. It takes as long as most of the time our train stays. At the end he carefully waggles his dick to ensure every last drop is expelled. Then he zips up, and rolls along the platform. Nobody else on the platform appears to notice. 

    Welcome to Kidbrooke. Welcome back to Plague Island.
    Back to the tracks I presume? 

    There was a time when the back seats of the nightbus were regularly used for this, a mate claims he saw a bloke doing something more substantial. Vile blokes.
  • seth plum
    seth plum Posts: 53,448
    If you point it at the live rail does electricity snake back along your wee?
    Is that the origin of the term ‘boil my piss’?
  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,770
    PragueAddick said:
    And as we rolled in, on our way to take my sister to birthday dinner in Borough Market, we looked across to the opposite platform. There a mań standing near the edge of the platform,  has taken out his dick and commences to take a piss. It is a very long piss. It takes as long as most of the time our train stays. At the end he carefully waggles his dick to ensure every last drop is expelled. Then he zips up, and rolls along the platform. Nobody else on the platform appears to notice. 

    Welcome to Kidbrooke. Welcome back to Plague Island.
    Could have been worse, he could of been just pulling out of Lee.
  • Saulc23
    Saulc23 Posts: 685
    He was just using the urination station.
  • PopIcon
    PopIcon Posts: 5,970
    In Hackney I once saw a woman take a dump in the middle of the street.
    She casually plopped her shopping on the ground, squatted, pulled her draws down and took a massive shit. To make matters worse it was broad daylight, and i was sitting just a few feet away.
  • MrWalker
    MrWalker Posts: 4,137
    Maybe it was an art installation like this one in Prague?

  • iaitch
    iaitch Posts: 10,274
    They should have a medical judging by the colour of their pee.
  • MrLargo
    MrLargo Posts: 7,995
    eaststandmike said:
    Mr Largo is quiet, he often complains about no toilets on trains, maybe he was squeezing one out before boarding. 
    Wasn't me mate, I'm far too civilised for that sort of behaviour. Prague's original post doesn't specify, but I'd presumed it was one of the ticket office staff emptying his bladder after a day of sitting on his arse drinking tea and being of absolutely no use at all to the travelling public.
  • cafcnick1992
    cafcnick1992 Posts: 7,451
    Wait, he was pissing on the track?! 

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