The weaknesses of a perfectionist

Dave2l

Does anyone on here consider themselves to be a perfectionist?

I think it is more of a negative attribute that can cause a lot of problems, and the trait will probably damage an individual.

I've recognised a bit of it within myself and it has made me understand things a bit more.

Footballers will likely carry a lot of this trait.

I think it can also cause problems with finances and it may have a link to gambling problems.

Any thoughts?

Draizetrain

Dennis_inthelastmin

A very good piece of advice I was once given is  -   "seek excellence not perfection"  -  perfection is a game you just cant win, there will always be some aspect of your life that is not the way you would want it, and in tasks you undertake achieving perfection every time is simply not possible.
The key to happiness is to try and be happy in the present and accept what you cant change, and just like in football despite your best efforts you may not achieve the outcome you are looking for.

Try and avoid seeking perfection, excellence is good enough !

Raith_C_Chattonell

I aim for average - no need to take any risks either way 

bobmunro

Raith_C_Chattonell said:

I aim for average - no need to take any risks either way 

Likewise - I've striven all my life to be adequate, and sometimes succeed.

EugenesAxe

I used to be indecisive but now I’m not so sure

IdleHans

Don't let perfect be the enemy of good

For example, Mrs Idle has a tendency to agonise over holiday choices looking for the perfect thing. In the meantime, lots of very good options get booked up and we end up taking somethinganything before there's nothing left.

Henry Irving

Underachiever and proud of it.

valleynick66

You are supporting the wrong football club if you are a perfectionist 😀

AddicksAddict

bobmunro said:

Raith_C_Chattonell said:

I aim for average - no need to take any risks either way 

Likewise - I've striven all my life to be adequate, and sometimes succeed.

And what's your partner's opinion on that?  "Well, the earth moved an adequate amount."

SoundAsa£

Draizetrain said:

Fucking brilliant! 😂😂😂

eastterrace6168

Oh lord it's hard to be humble..
When your perfect in every way..
I can't wait to look in the mirror..
'Cos I get better looking each day..
To know me is to love me..
I must be a hell of a man..
Oh lord it's hard to be humble..
But i'm doing the best that I can....

Dave Rudd

Yes, it's probably wrong to strive for perfection.  To have high standards that you attempt to surpass.

Much better to trot out the mantra that allows you to hide behind mediocrity.

Point out the weaknesses and you have justified lack of effort, inertia, abdication of responsibility and sloth.

Perfect. 

Greenhithe

I literally couldn’t give a shit about anything. Have a laugh, predominately at yourself I say.

NOTHING is important or real. It’s all an illusion. We are talking monkeys hanging on to a rock hurtling through nothing. Blow a raspberry and hang on.

if at first you don’t succeed then perhaps failure is your style.

Gribbo

Greenhithe said:

I literally couldn’t give a shit about anything. Have a laugh, predominately at yourself I say.

NOTHING is important or real. It’s all an illusion. We are talking monkeys hanging on to a rock hurtling through nothing. Blow a raspberry and hang on.

if at first you don’t succeed then perhaps failure is your style.

Would love to be like that

SuedeAdidas

I wouldn't say perfectionist....but I used to strive for certain goals in my younger days.

Life got a lot easier when I acknowledged that most often I had neither the talent or aptitude to achieve most of them.

I wouldn't say that I just accept what life throws at me....but I have learnt to recognise that I am doing OK in life and am generally pretty happy with my lot.

This kind of acceptance is quite liberating.

seth plum

I thought the trick was to strive for perfection, but be zen about it if it doesn’t happen.
Climbing the mountain half way means at least you gave it a go.

rananegra

I'm not a perfectionist, don't have the patience, would rather get something done than not. My partner has elements of perfectionism, will spend ages on something that I'd give up on after a while. It doesn't always work but I'm glad we have a balance. 

Greenhithe

Gribbo said:

Greenhithe said:

I literally couldn’t give a shit about anything. Have a laugh, predominately at yourself I say.

NOTHING is important or real. It’s all an illusion. We are talking monkeys hanging on to a rock hurtling through nothing. Blow a raspberry and hang on.

if at first you don’t succeed then perhaps failure is your style.

Would love to be like that

It does have its down sides at times because I literally can’t take anything seriously. It was also made even worse by the death of 2 friends and watching both my parents die.  Focuses the mind a bit of death. 

Gribbo

I'd say that I'm probably a perfectionist and the problem I find with it is that you sometimes take longer doing something, even starting something, because you haven't got the right bits for it.

Where others make do with using an alternative, I find that really difficult and want the right things in place before starting.

mistrollingin62

I'm going down the allotment and hope to see Spanish Maria (Plot 36A) now she's perfection

Gribbo

mistrollingin62 said:

I'm going down the allotment and hope to see Spanish Maria (Plot 36A) now she's perfection

Known for her prize winning pumkins

mistrollingin62

It's pumpkins, and how the bloody hell did you know?

Dave2l

SuedeAdidas said:

I wouldn't say perfectionist....but I used to strive for certain goals in my younger days.

Life got a lot easier when I acknowledged that most often I had neither the talent or aptitude to achieve most of them.

I wouldn't say that I just accept what life throws at me....but I have learnt to recognise that I am doing OK in life and am generally pretty happy with my lot.

This kind of acceptance is quite liberating.

Yeh that makes sense to me.

I believe we all need days of simply just doing "nothing".

A typical Sunday of only relaxing, resting and watching TV. It regenerates the mind and helps put things into perspective

charente addick

Take up golf - that will soon drive out any perfectionist tendencies!

Dave2l

charente addick said:

Take up golf - that will soon drive out any perfectionist tendencies!

Agreed

cabbles

Definitely not a perfectionist, but having had a career in sales, I find it very hard to switch off.  Certainly as I am just over a year into a new job and really like it, but it’s tough.  Really tough to get traction sometimes and it can leave me constantly thinking about it.  Very frustrating 

bromleyjohn

Look at being stoical and you can let go of being perfectionist. You simply do the best you can do. It’s all about maximum effort and preparation and not the ideal of perfection which never is achievlable

LennyLowrent

Someone here mentioned a mountain and having a go climbing it.
Agree.
I would add to that: while climbing, look around you - there's plenty of beauty at even the foot of a mountain.
I go to my piano (now here's a mountain...) every evening for anything from 10 minutes to 3hours.
I will be doing this untill I run out of Baba Ganoush.
I'm an eternal beginner.
But even the great Glenn Gould told us "no composer has ever improved on his opus 1" (not one for controversy was our Glenn...)
In the words of one of my clients:
 "Nobody is perfect and I am nobody"

jimmymelrose

Gribbo said:

mistrollingin62 said:

I'm going down the allotment and hope to see Spanish Maria (Plot 36A) now she's perfection

Known for her prize winning pumkins

No, that's the other Maria on 36G