In these days of not much joy on the pitch, a bit of light-hearted storytelling might not go amiss so let me tell you of the Wealdstone Raider doppelganger and his exploits at a petrol station at Exeter this very morning.
At least, I assume it wasn't the infamous internet/You-Tube sensation himself, but the sub's appearance, stature, glasses, manner of speech and belligerence gave me pause to think, more especially as I inadvertently got caught up in the ensuing altercation which I will describe below.
Here is what happened - related whilst still fresh in the mind (at about 11am this morning).
Popping into Tesco's garage to fill up before petrol prices rise to levels requiring a lottery win, I went into the kiosk to pay.
Now you need to be aware that this Tesco garage still operates a Covid-related one-way system to pay the cashier - you go in by one door and out by the other.
Arriving at the 'in door' a chap swept past me coming out and yelling something inaudible.
I go in, only to be confronted by, when he turned around, none other than the Wealdstone Raider (or said substitute)
What did you say?, says The Raider.
There then follows a long pause, as with the still open door now in my hand I assume he is talking to someone behind me so I look behind only to return to his gaze when no further interchange between us occurs.
I didn't say a word, says I rather lamely, and at this stage still utterly bemused by what is going on.
There then follows what was probably only 10 seconds but seemed like much longer as The Raider sizes me up.
This is where I'm fully expecting the classic: You want some, I'll give it yer.
You went out of the in door says the Raider and you said something.
Ahhhh. now all the mists clear and it all makes sense. The Raider has mistaken me for the chap who swept past me as I entered and who no doubt had told the weasely one to **** off. Now this chap, (i.e. now me in Raider's eyes) had obviously returned to challenge the Raider for having been told to 'go out by the other door'!
By this time, the real 'culprit' is long gone but I say in my defence... you must mean that guy out there (note - there was no guy now anywhere to be seen).
Clearly dissatisfied with this explanation the Raider turns to complete his petrol payment with the very patient lady cashier who must have been as baffled as anyone else who had witnessed this bizarre exchange.
The Raider turns, doesn't look at me, offers no apology, and leaves by the correct door, probably still convinced that I should be 'getting some'.
To Charlton fans in the West Country, and there are many, a word of warning, the WR doppelganger is out there.
As for the real one - well at least we won't be playing Wealdstone anytime soon.......................and......oh........er...........wait......
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