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Food principle please

See, everyone else seem to have one and I want one too but I want my Kebab.
So far my attempts have yilded very little according to my saintly wife.
I first came up with what proved to be too restrictive as it forbids me to eat any animal that's got an ass. Went on Google and found they all got one so back to the chopping board...
But hey, how bout 'not eating any animal that is capable of sitting'.
That way I can still have my curry and my pet will survive (not sure about circus elephants though).
You think you can come up with a better one?
let's have it. But hurry, these pints won't last forever...

Comments

  • edited September 12
    WTF!!
  • No animals that can competently speak the English language, that should leave you free and easy to eat pretty much what you like provided you avoid the cast of the Lion King and Aslan.
  • Hal1x said:
    WTF!!
    Makes sense to me - I think the answer is badger.
  • edited September 12
    Hal1x said:
    WTF!!
    Makes sense to me - I think the answer is badger.
    saw a live one yesterday, makes a change from the usual roadkill.
  • edited September 12
    The British Veterinary Association this week said that boiling lobsters alive was cruel and should be outlawed.
  • se9addick said:
    No animals that can competently speak the English language, that should leave you free and easy to eat pretty much what you like provided you avoid the cast of the Lion King and Aslan.
    pretty sure you could still eat the lion king cast. I'm not sure on the original language it was filmed in but it's definitely dubbed into English, if you check IMDB Matthew Broderick and James Earl Jones did some of the dubbing
  • Lenny, if you're out with Ollie you can only eat stag on a stag do, just like you can only eat Easter eggs at Easter.
  • Stig said:
    Lenny, if you're out with Ollie you can only eat stag on a stag do, just like you can only eat Easter eggs at Easter.
    What if he’s attending a cock fight?
  • Stig said:
    Lenny, if you're out with Ollie you can only eat stag on a stag do, just like you can only eat Easter eggs at Easter.
    What if he’s attending a cock fight?

    He has a fight?
    No?
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  • Hal1x said:
    Hal1x said:
    WTF!!
    Makes sense to me - I think the answer is badger.
    saw a live one yesterday, makes a change from the usual roadkill.
    Come to my garden, you can see the fuckers dig it up every night...
  • Stig said:

    Literally every time I see a kebab shop, I do the gog "I want a kebab Jeremy"
  • Prawns cocktail definitely involves sitting surely 
  • Huskaris said:
    Stig said:

    Literally every time I see a kebab shop, I do the gog "I want a kebab Jeremy"
    Whenever I see one I remember a strange altercation I witnessed in the kebab shop by Welling's ground after a pre-season friendly. A guy came in and asked for a kebab, instructing that his bread should be burnt. It came back well done but not burnt and the bloke went off into one. The kebab man protested that if he did it any more it would be spoiled. At this point, I was expecting it to turn into some elaborate complaint about some previously overdone food, but no - the guy kept on going on that he liked burnt bread. Two or three times it went back and came back more overdone and looking more disgusting. Still the argument went on. I'm not sure how it all ended up, I think the bloke might have stormed out. 
  • Well, the search goes on. All of you're suggestions have still got some way to go before penetrating my wife's morals, but fear not, you're in good company. The Brexit one came close, but Boris for breakfast..? Keep trying
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