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Meeting new friends

As the title says, how do you meet new friends in your 30s?
Had a few people mention how they meet new friends at work but having been in my current job for less than a year (with most of that being at home), I haven’t had any success in that department. In the past I’ve been to the odd away game by myself but don’t get talking to anyone as I am more of an east stand fan rather than a covered end fan, I’m sure most/all of you understand that reference!
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Comments

  • As someone who has never had friends I would love to know this as well lol.

    I mean, when I used to work I had work friends who I spoke to at work but never saw outside of work.

    Then obviously there is the odd 1 or 2 people I speak to now who I would call a friend.

    But seriously i have like 7 names in my contacts on my phone 4 of which are family.

    I talk to one other person from here on WhatsApp @ForeverAddickted

    And thats about it really I never socialise with anyone 
  • edited August 2020
    @paulie8290 meet @Suttonaddick, I think you would get along just fine! 

    I don't think there is a magic answer to this. Try a sport, martial art or social event that interests you thats a good way to meet like minded people. 
  • Maybe you're just choosey @Suttonaddick? Nothing wrong with that. You reap what you sow is what someone once said to me and it turns out I still think that's pretty accurate.
  • edited August 2020
    Word of warning though, if you or potential friends have left slanting handwriting the issues could be a lot deeper.

    https://www.writechoice.co.in/writechoice/left-slanted-handwriting/
  • Genuinely, take up an evening class or something like that, keep doing it until you meet like minded people who fancy a pint after.

    I tried fencing (swords not planks) recently and it had quite a good social, although I didn't try it for long after pulling a calf muscle in warm up and doing a class from a chair, martial arts too altho the group is a bit small and not that social.

    I did an evening class years back and met people this way, one bloke decent fella good drinker a fireman as I recall, then I got to know his sister 'quite' well, and erm that didn't work out - got a bit awkward and we stopped being friends for some reason after that.. So there's how to quickly make, and lose friends (not a patch on Ketman's love life..).

    Another time, we met a couple on holiday in Egypt, got on well and went on a holiday with them to Croatia, always good when your kids all get on so the adults can chill with a book.

    My missus tried to help their daughter get a job, the daughter was useless and it backfired, they stopped being our friends... I often remind my missus about mixing business with friendships, but she never listens of course.

  • edited August 2020
    Mate of mine whom I have known for years was very quiet, lived on his own and didn't go out much joined a cycling club some years back, made a bunch of friends he now cycles with every weekend and goes on holidays with.

    If you have an interest/passion find the right, sociable club to join.

    Golf clubs (obviously need the £), are good too as they organise socials, competitions etc so you get to meet plenty of people.

    Also, depending on personal circumstance (and maybe post-Covid) there are some interesting alternative rental accommodation providers, co-living space by the likes of "The Collective", "The Stay Club" and "tipi" or if you are buying then someone like "Pocket Living" where your flat will be small but in a block sold to other first time buyers who live or work in the same borough so more likely to be sociable places to live with like aged and minded people...
  • Don't want sympathy, most of my problems (not all) are self inflicted, I now live 50 miles or so from the areas where I spent the first 55 of my life (born in Lewisham Hospital, lived in St. Paul's Cray until 18, then Deptford, Catford, Sydenham) and have met a few people at Sittingbourne FC and locally. I keep in contact with them through social media. Being on my own for a few years has probably helped during this lockdown/Coronavirus, now living in a Residential Living Property, run by Optivo (not the best landlords....) I find it comforting that neighbours in this home are here if I need them and when I go shopping I ask if they need anything. 

    Not too sure what I'm trying to say, I personally have met most of the people on my contact list through CAFC or public houses. 

    Suppose I'm trying to say that work, football, pubs.

    I'll go away now. 
  • The dating app Bumble also has a friends one too, could always try that.
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  • As others have said, the best way of meeting people is to go to evening classes or join a sports club. I’m fortunate. I have a wide circle of friends. I still regularly meet up with lads I used to go to school with. I have a circle of friends that I have gone to Charlton with for 40 years. I have my rugby mates. I don’t generally socialise with people I used to work with. I avoid work Xmas parties like the plague. 

    My son, on the other hand, finds it difficult to meet people because he spent most of his teenage years in his bedroom on the XBox. I tried getting him interested in sports teams but he wasn't interested He’s friends with one boy who he used to go to the same school who’s friends with others and they all go out socialising. But the others aren’t really his friends and he would struggle to phone one of them and say fancy a pint. 

    Sports and having common interests with someone else is definitely the key forming friendships 
  • Now this is an interesting subject, as I written on here previously, I’m 67 been happily (well as much as you can be) married for 42 years worked hard all my life, and our combined number of friends is zero. I’m not certain how this has happened we both had very good friends when we meet and we all went out together, but then work, sport, kids all happened, all our close friends moved away and apart from Christmas cards we haven’t spoken for over 30 years. I’m coming up for retirement in a couple of years and the wife has decided to retire at the same time from her part time job. Because of Covid we have found we can live together which frankly was a bit of a surprise as the kids thought one of us would have murdered the other. 

    We are both fairly sociable, but mainly because of my position at work (owner of a reasonable sized company) and my probably wrong theory that you work with people and they can’t be your friends as you might have to discipline them or worse get rid of them, then that route has been denied me, probably the closest I got with work colleagues is slightly friendly, but don’t trust you / what are you after type of relationship.

    17 years ago we tried to address this problem and started cruising, we had great time, chatting etc with other couples for the duration of the holiday, but failed to convert these into friends, and we are stuck at the exchanging Christmas cards stage, which with some we still do.

    Now retirement is looming. We are having another go, we have discussed this in detail, I’m thinking of giving bowls a go, perhaps a long cruise of around 60 nights or even 140 nights as we proved we can spend that long in each other’s company (problem here is that we have spoilt ourselves and will only cruise on an American cruise line we’re 90% of passengers are American and to hear an English voice is still fairly rare), during the cruise it’s my intention to try some form of art which if I enjoy it I would follow it with night school or similar in the UK, that’s the long term plan for me. The wife hasn’t got a clue what to do, so I’ve suggested volunteer work in a shop, but she reckons that’s impossible to get into, and any idea I got for her she’s pooh poo’s. 

    Blimey I got carried away, sorry. Like others I don’t really know what I’m trying to say, but any help 9assuming you can determine the question) would be helpful.
  • The website Meetup is very good. 

    The football game I play on the heath each week was listed on there (I started playing years before that) and a lot of people joined specifically for the reason of meeting new people. 90 minute game and then a load go to the Princess of Wales. 

    There are hundreds of other things on there though, sport is by no means the biggest category. 

    A personal tip though for people meeting new people and trying to make friends. Don't force it and don't be too keen. Much like finding a lover, you will know when you "click" and it's time to slink off for a kebab a night bus.

    I'm not someone looking to make new friends at all, but have made 3 good ones through there in just a couple of years and everyone is a nice acquaintance. The people who have turned up desperate for a mate end up scaring people a lot of the time. 
  • Covid makes things harder of course but how about arranging some Charlton evenings at a pub. 
  • CL is a mine of information - a great community resource...
  • My wife is a member of a local church and has made some lovely friends.
    Joining a club where like minded people share your interest is a good avenue.
  • edited August 2020
    My wife is a member of a local church and has made some lovely friends.
    Joining a club where like minded people share your interest is a good avenue.
    Does she pray you’ll buy her a drink?
    She almost got a very big drink a few weeks back mate.
  • My wife is a member of a local church and has made some lovely friends.
    Joining a club where like minded people share your interest is a good avenue.
    Does she pray you’ll buy her a drink?
    She almost got a very big drink a few weeks back mate.
    I know mate, all good now?
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  • In the good old days, NetAddicks was always a good medium for meeting up and making friends. Think there’s been a few marriages out of the meet-ups that we used to have. @suzisausage and @les_says @Curb_It and @Tavern and @MariaCAFC and @NorthStandUltra (I think)  
  • If you want to make friends buy a football club - you only need £1. The downside is they will all hate you a month later. 
  • Other than work friends, I'd say that I once had a music/sport blog on Tumblr, and got to chat go a few people with the same interests as me on that. We ended up going to a few gigs together and stayed in touch - this was in my 30s. Best friends at the moment are probably my next door neighbours! Garden drinking during covid certainly cemented a few bonds there. Other than that, I'm married with kids so that is enough to keep me busy
  • My wife is a member of a local church and has made some lovely friends.
    Joining a club where like minded people share your interest is a good avenue.
    Does she pray you’ll buy her a drink?
    She almost got a very big drink a few weeks back mate.
    I know mate, all good now?
    Unfortunately yes.
    A bit harsh. 
    But did make me laugh. 
  • @CharltonKerry might be of interest to you, my dad is 72 and has only in the last 2 years or so got back in touch with his university friends, and now meets up with them. Might be worth seeing if those on your Christmas card list fancy a letter/phone call and you will soon pick up where you left off. 
  • I consider myself very fortunate when it comes to friends. 
    I have over 200 contacts on my phone. 
    I must know at least 40 or 50 Charlton fan's from way back who I consider my best friends and we still meet up at most Charlton games. 
    Plus as I've lived in the same area for most of my life I have plenty of friends local to where I live. 
    Plus still keep in touch with loads of old workmates from the fire brigade. 
    On top of that I have met at least 50 people from Charlton life. 
    So all in all I concider myself to be very fortunate. 
  • Some good tips, thanks. Going to try all the ideas suggested and arrange a charltonlife meet-up hopefully for the first game back in October. 
  • Trainspotting is a great way to meet people...
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