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The Best Most Biaised Match Report EVER

Just been reacquainted with this absolute beauty following a Charlton Supporters vs Crystal Palace Supporters Match in 2002 (I think). It was posted on their forum by some wetwipe origami expert called ‘Anti-Addick’, who’d spent months in the build up stoking hatred with pikey abuse.

Have a read of this :-)

Crystal Palace 1 Charlton Athletic 3 (halftime 0-2)

The return leg of this league derby was won in the end by Charlton but not without a tantrum from the travellers first. Palace started brightly and pressed the visitors despite being outnumbered at home by the 'johnny-come-lately' Charlton support and their volleys of abuse. After 5 minutes Palace had to defend and a good cross to the back post grazed the
post, a warning shot to the defence. Not letting the crowd intimidation get to them Palace set about their pacy attacks with Mark Wallis, Ben Couchman, Paul Hepburn and Darren Skinner all joining in the fray. Charlton did their best to spoil Palace's flowing moves with numerous stud's up and late challenges that the referee let go. Indeed on 10 minutes it was a nothing
challenge on the right flank in Palace's half that was given as a free kick to the Addicks and by pure fluke the attempted cross looped over James Taylor-Nye and into the far top corner. It was debatable as to whether or not the referee had indicated that the kick be direct or not but the goal stood.

Palace pressed on and put the throw-in skills of Ben Couchman to the test who bulleted the ball into the Charlton box with ease. Chris Lansdown
connected but his header was wide.
Charlton then had a short spell of pressure and yet another debatable decision came, Jim Tanner removed the ball from the Addick winger who appealed that the ball had crossed the byline. Tanner and the 'keeper were sure it hadn't, the Charlton linesman himself didn't say it had but the ref gave a corner which they duly scored from with a free header. Thus, Palace
found themselves 2-0 down in the most wrongful of circumstances. The rest of the half was dominated by Palace but they just couldn't find the back of the net.

Palace started brightly in the second half but found themselves to be butchered all over the pitch with late challenges, this was also accompanied by cheering at each piece of cheating from the Charlton group. The finest
example of this came when Palace debutant Neil Curtis showed his pace down the wing but was sythed from behind by one, he carried on and them 2 defenders both took a go each at the same. Amazingly the ref waved play on
yet such were the blatancy of the tackles that each one brought an individual cheer from the Charlton 'faithful' (ho ho ho). When Palace
decided to retaliate for themselves the visitors quite literally threw baby-like tantrums.

The referee did in the end make some amends when Curtis was pushed to the ground in the box and he rightly pointed to the spot. This decision was greeted in Roy Keane-esque proportions by every Charlton player and
supporter. Even their linesman threw his flag in the air in a paddy and volleyed expletives across the field at the top of his voice, this really
had to be seen to be believed.

After Darren Skinner hammered home the penalty kick sending the 'keeper the wrong way the abuse continued and the tackles worsened. Palace then had a series of several corners whilst the visitors were still crying, Jim Wallis
headed just wide, Paul Hepburn and Ben Couchman both had a shot saved each although Palace came closest to the equaliser through Charlton captain Graeme Williams who's desparate clearance was nearly hooked into his own net.

The visitors sealed the game near the final whistle when they cleared from a corner, broke down the left to cross and the header was neatly despatched into the top corner leaving James Taylor-Nye no chance.

Anyone who thinks Charlton aren't worth worrying about/bothering with should have come to this match. Shame they could manage about 15 'supporters' and we had M.Hep. When the penalty was given it looked like they were going to all steam in.

Well played lads, we'll have our day
Did anyone else notice how Darren Skinner took it upon himself to
cover the entire length of the pitch when he was Linesman in the second
I had to laugh when I saw two linesman on opposite sides of the pitch both
flagging for offside!
Don't worry we'll get our revenge on those cheating scumbags in the
Some of those Charlton players certainly carried a few pounds didn't they?!!
I'm suprised that fat one who's shirt didn't fit him properly lasted the

It's a shame we couldn't get enough support together to even the crowd up a
bit. As Anti pointed out "the only reason they have a big following is
because they all travel together in their mobile homes".


  • Seems fairly reasonable and well balanced. They got beaten by a fat bloke whose shirt didnt fit.
  • Lol that’s brilliant 
  • edited January 2020
    Sounds like our twitter feed on a Saturday......... :wink::wink::wink:
  • The flag throwing Lino was @Riscardo

    The funniest thing, this ridiculously biased referee was one of their own subs!
    I seem to recall him stating, while throwing that flag in the air, "Keep on and I'll stick this fucking flag up your arse"

    I think the report neglected to mention the absolute heroics of the CAFC keeper in the first half! I can say that I've never concerted a goal against Palace!!

    BTW - while transferring some files to a new hard drive the other day, I came across the team photo from the match. Will find it again and post it here.
  • I'm really fcked off there is a Palace fan with the name skinner. 
  • edited January 2020
    Great pic @church-lane !! 

    Can see myself, you, @Riscardo @ricky_otto  @Oakster and @iansarge there

    I look young there!
  •  That's well funny

  • Why was Karl Robinson playing for us? Good headlock on him though.
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  • Great pic @church-lane !! 

    Can see myself, you, @Riscardo @ricky_otto  @Oakster and @iansarge there

    I look young there!
    Christ - You look about 15. And I had hair.....
  • Great pic @church-lane !! 

    Can see myself, you, @Riscardo @ricky_otto  @Oakster and @iansarge there

    I look young there!
    Christ - You look about 15. And I had hair.....
    I thought AFKA was the one at the front in the white shirt.
  • Tbh if you’ve just been beaten by a team that includes a fat bloke whose shirt doesn’t fit properly, and features players who have tantrums, can’t play as well as you, and nearly score own goals to help you, it doesn’t really suggest you have been brave and have gone down fighting. It rather suggests instead that you are a bunch of wankers. 🙂👍🏻
  • I remember a particularly robust challenge that we put in one of their players. When I say robust it was practically GBH. Not content with almost maiming the palace player, our boy leaned over the palace player who was clearly hurt, and screamed “get the £uck up you ****” or words to that effect.... not getting a response our player said “are you £ucking deaf?” The palace player rolled to his side and revealed a hearing aid. 
  • Sounds like we were lucky. Little did the author know that 2-3 years later he would have to get more irritated by Fortune’s goal.
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