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The spoils of a night out
MrOneLung
Posts: 26,853
Ok. @AFKABartram posted on another thread ‘Woke up with a pair of oversize joke shop glasses next to my bed so must have been a good night!’
What are the most random things you have found the morning after the night before?
What are the most random things you have found the morning after the night before?
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Once woke up with an 8ft black and yellow car park barrier in the bedroom.9
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Two full boxes of floor tiles ... came in very useful for a job that needed doing
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The barmaid of the Pickwick.MrOneLung said:Ok. @AFKABartram posted on another thread ‘Woke up with a pair of oversize joke shop glasses next to my bed so must have been a good night!’
What are the most random things you have found the morning after the night before?25 -
One of the tannoy speakers from the old valley floodlights during our exile. A couple of my mates climbed to the top and one had a piss. I got about halfway and saw sense (shit myself).
No Henry I, I haven’t still got it!9 -
Not me but my gay mate went out last night and pulled this short bloke.
He said the sex was amazing but his large pair of outrageous glasses had been stolen.63 -
Newcastle United FC's Christmas tree in mid January in Spital Tongues.5
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Something everyone’s come home with after a night out:
A traffic cone
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An overweight bird that chatted nothing but filth in your ear all night.16 -
I found that I didn’t have a phone, after waking up in gillingham on a train (I live in New Eltham)
And for sale signs, done that a couple times when first dabbling with booze in my teens. Apologies to anyone whose house is between Delano’s in Bromley and Chislehurst is was on the market longer than anticipated.1 -
A giant no smoking sign from the local gas mains works. A shopping basket holder with wheels that I rode all the way home and told everyone that it was in fact a Segway.
Pockets full of tealights recently (seemingly from the pub) - just why.3 -
A half-eaten kebab on my chest and a traffic cone next to the bed.1
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I'd like to be able to say I once woke up with a 5 foot ornamental brass lamp post in my bedroom, but it never actually came to that.
One misty autumn evening many many tears back I stopped off for a pint in the Leather Bottle in Belvedere.
At the time they had an ornamental brass lamp post in one of the bars, vaguely similar to the one pictured below.
This particular night the pub was rammed with a large crowd of drunken revellers, it might have been pre-xmas I am not sure now.
At some point one or more of the crowd must have made off with the lamp, though god knows how it went unnoticed.
As I departed and started to make my way home I suddenly spotted the lamp, discarded in somebodys front garden.
I toyed with the idea of taking it home for a laugh (which would have qualified me for this thread)
In the end I thought better of it and decided to do the decent thing and carry this bloody great lamp back to the pub, which was something of a local for me at the time.
As turned the corner into Heron Hill somebody yelled out from a passing car "It ain't that fucking foggy mate"
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Much to my shame, I woke up one morning after a heavy night when I was about 18 with this at the end of my bed.
No idea where it was from or how I got it home.
Managed to smuggle it out of the house without my parents knowing about it and left it outside the Oxfam shop in Eltham High Street about 2.00am the following morning.18 -
A bay tree in a pot1
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Puke all over my room. Never did get it all out of the carpet.0
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A text message from my mate that I was sharing a hotel room with, complaining that he'd returned to the room at 4am to find me pissing in his suitcase.13
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Did the shower half way refresh youDaveMehmet said:One of the tannoy speakers from the old valley floodlights during our exile. A couple of my mates climbed to the top and one had a piss. I got about halfway and saw sense (shit myself).
No Henry I, I haven’t still got it!1 -
Garden Bench... In my room in a house I rented a room in. Thing was I have no idea who's garden it came from... No one on any of the roads from the pub to home had one? At least not out the front...0
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An airgun. Sitting in the King's Arms at closing, my mate gave it to me and told me to 'look after it for him'. Looked like a real pistol to the untrained eye (ie me). He'd had it in his work bag (he was a sparky working on a first fit in a basement and had been using it to shoot rats) and was going on to a club after.
Walked through Greenwich and down Creek Road then home to my mum's in Deptford with it tucked in my jeans like a fucking gangster. Woke up the next morning and there it was on the floor next to the bed.
This is 25 years ago mind - if I'd done that now I'd have been shot by the gavvers before I reached the bridge...
Simpler times.6 -
Bloke I used to work with dropped acid round his mates then cut though Goddington park in Orpington on his way home in the early hours. He said there must have been some sort of bungled bank job/ drug deal gone wrong as he came across reams and reams of £10 notes strewn all across the park.
He spent a good hour stuffing every pocket, sock, jacket opening with the readies and even said he filled his boxers with them before finally home. Couldn't believe his luck.
Next morning he was rudely awakened by his irate mother who was shouting "John!!! Why the **** is your room covered in leaves?!!!"72 -
Mate after a very heavy night woke up the next morning with a half eaten raw potato by the side of his bed13
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Ended up with one of them big Men at Work signs in me garden from a night out the other week...a dare from the Mrs apparently...so being a few sambucas over I took up the challenge...,do I keep it or put it bak is the question...?0
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A stuffed cat.
Was a very weird moment taking it back to the pub the next day and apologising.
Luckily saw the funny side and didn't bar us as it was a good pub.0 -
Sun lounger.
Don’t ask.1 -
A signed picture of Jimmy White after accidentally crashing the world snooker championships party.
Mates managed to get a dentists chair back to theirs, up some stairs and into their second floor flat.0 -
Woke up on my bed once, under a shopping trolley.
Had to wait for my mates to surface to ask questions but none of us could remember how, where, why, when.
Absolute all-dayer bank holiday blackout!2 -
Proper Trollied then...The Organiser said:Woke up on my bed once, under a shopping trolley.
Had to wait for my mates to surface to ask questions but none of us could remember how, where, why, when.
Absolute all-dayer bank holiday blackout!14 -
So the Essex girl scarpered after she dropped her kebab on you?The Red Robin said:A half-eaten kebab on my chest and a traffic cone next to the bed.
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Many years ago a bunch of us had a weekend away in Great Yarmouth. When we arrived we all noticed a model of a man with a mechanical arm that waved non stop whilst pointing at a sign saying “Welcome to Great Yarmouth “. This geezer must have stood 8 feet high.
After a heavy night on the piss I woke up and looked at the bottom of my bed and there he stood. The arm was not waving as he was not plugged in.
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Either the bollard or the lamp post. Both took some shifting afterwards.oj
My brother and a mate once stole a beer barrel and rolled it a couple of miles. The police pulled up just as he was getting home and made him roll it all the way back, whilst following him.6 -
I woke up to find some of those smelly things you get in urinals in the bottom of my toilet. I dread to think how this happened!7
