- Get our house finished - Stick £5m in some sort of bank account - Sort family and friends out (clear debts, pay off mortgages, hire hitmen for). _ Then give the rest to a couple of small charities, were'd I'd see it make a difference
Well, I’d just be happy to win enough for a downpayment on a mortgage (#millennial)
But yeah, top quality care for nan, house for Mum, houses for both my sisters, house for my brother (but in my nephew’s name so my brother doesn’t fuck that up!). Money in a trust fund for said nephew. House in Spain, house in Italy and one in Scandinavia somewhere (Christmas card shit).
Then I’d go back to uni and do degrees in computer engineering and history.
Oh, and a mountain of drugs, pay for my best mate to have his dream wedding to his missus and then take all my mates on one hell of a stag for him.
I have a big plan in place. It's boring, but oh well. Given lottery winners are tens or hundreds of times more likely to be murder victims; robbed; die of a drug overdose; be kidnapped; bankrupted; and so on - I've needed a cast-iron plan.
These numbers, of course, aren't exact.
1a. TELL NO-ONE. (At least, not immediately, despite the likely urge.)
1b. Get on to Camelot. They know what to do. Insist on anonymity when they come round, and all that.
1c. Hire a lawyer. Ideally a proper big nob lawyer, partner at a firm, that sort of thing.
2. Still TELL NO-ONE. I'm not going public. I'm probably not telling family or friends yet, as much as is possible. I will "fall ill", or something.
3a. Tell my lawyer I intend to give £15m of this jackpot to family and friends. This will NOT be in the form of a lump sum. I may, however, clear a few debts (student loans, mortgages, what have you).
Trust funds going through stock indices and what have you shall be set up for my cousins; money shall go toward an annuity from which my brother can pull money out of/house deposit/that sort of thing, if he so wants; and for my parents and other relatives etc etc.
Get lawyer/accountant to sort all that out. This leaves £73m.
3b. I'll take £3m to myself "for the time being" (immediate expenses e.g. my lawyer, maybe an accountant, buying a property quickly so I can do all this in private). This leaves £70m.
(Might have to do 3b immediately post-Camelot as part of step 1, but who knows)
4. If possible, dump £15m in UK government bonds that should be paying at around 2-3% (or another govt, if possible). That should be a bona fide income of, hopefully, £300k-450k a year. That is rock solid money. If the UK stops paying on their government debt, then money is nowhere near our biggest worry. This leaves £55m.
5. Be boring again and dump £30m into an index fund, with low fees. Hopefully said fund will pay out at around 4%. In 20 years, that £30m becomes £65m. Tidy. This leaves £25m.
------------
So - I have now, hopefully, guaranteed myself an income of at least £300k a year unless the Bank of England is burning; provided for family and friends in a way they would never have imagined; and I have a huge pot in the form of an index fund that will keep growing at market rates.
Life is good, so step 6:
------------
6a. Donate perhaps £10m, if that, to charity. Likely contenders are Anthony Nolan, Alzheimers Research, and NSPCC.
6b. Tell everyone I've won £8m* on the lottery, and do what I want! Buy a couple of houses here and abroad, go on holidays to wherever, party with mates, maybe invest in a couple of fun-looking startups, maybe even go back to university.
(*£8m being roughly the sort of amount I reckon would set oneself up for life - I'd still have £7m left.)
I’d blow the vast majority of it on animals. I don’t mean I’d spend it on buying a camel or a hippo or anything but on setting up an animal sanctuary and education centre in the UK, lots of land for rescued factory farm animals etc plus I’d like to start a charity that helps to support the strays on the Greek islands. A big donation would go to Animal Aid Unlimited, a charity in India that does the most incredible work.
I’d also like to start a chain of vegan fast food restaurants to cater for our growing numbers.
How much does your lovely government take of £88M?
None as far as I know,
Damn! Here you pay Federal Taxes. Say bye bye to 35% of it.
Stupid rule. I'm sure that, is the competition is open to anyone and everyone, no tax is paid on the winnings, but nor doubt someone will be along shortly to put me right......
I have a big plan in place. It's boring, but oh well. Given lottery winners are tens or hundreds of times more likely to be murder victims; robbed; die of a drug overdose; be kidnapped; bankrupted; and so on - I've needed a cast-iron plan.
These numbers, of course, aren't exact.
1a. TELL NO-ONE. (At least, not immediately, despite the likely urge.)
1b. Get on to Camelot. They know what to do. Insist on anonymity when they come round, and all that.
1c. Hire a lawyer. Ideally a proper big nob lawyer, partner at a firm, that sort of thing.
2. Still TELL NO-ONE. I'm not going public. I'm probably not telling family or friends yet, as much as is possible. I will "fall ill", or something.
3a. Tell my lawyer I intend to give £15m of this jackpot to family and friends. This will NOT be in the form of a lump sum. I may, however, clear a few debts (student loans, mortgages, what have you).
Trust funds going through stock indices and what have you shall be set up for my cousins; money shall go toward an annuity from which my brother can pull money out of/house deposit/that sort of thing, if he so wants; and for my parents and other relatives etc etc.
Get lawyer/accountant to sort all that out. This leaves £73m.
3b. I'll take £3m to myself "for the time being" (immediate expenses e.g. my lawyer, maybe an accountant, buying a property quickly so I can do all this in private). This leaves £70m.
(Might have to do 3b immediately post-Camelot as part of step 1, but who knows)
4. If possible, dump £15m in UK government bonds that should be paying at around 2-3% (or another govt, if possible). That should be a bona fide income of, hopefully, £300k-450k a year. That is rock solid money. If the UK stops paying on their government debt, then money is nowhere near our biggest worry. This leaves £55m.
5. Be boring again and dump £30m into an index fund, with low fees. Hopefully said fund will pay out at around 4%. In 20 years, that £30m becomes £65m. Tidy. This leaves £25m.
------------
So - I have now, hopefully, guaranteed myself an income of at least £300k a year unless the Bank of England is burning; provided for family and friends in a way they would never have imagined; and I have a huge pot in the form of an index fund that will keep growing at market rates.
Life is good, so step 6:
------------
6a. Donate perhaps £10m, if that, to charity. Likely contenders are Anthony Nolan, Alzheimers Research, and NSPCC.
6b. Tell everyone I've won £8m* on the lottery, and do what I want! Buy a couple of houses here and abroad, go on holidays to wherever, party with mates, maybe invest in a couple of fun-looking startups, maybe even go back to university.
(*£8m being roughly the sort of amount I reckon would set oneself up for life - I'd still have £7m left.)
Sorted.
No coke and whores?
Youngsters today eh Daz! No point in winning if you're not gonna snort n shag! Shocking !
How much does your lovely government take of £88M?
You won’t pay tax on the winnings but I guarantee you pay heaps of tax on virtually everything you buy with the exception of baked beans and salad. On the plus side you’ll have enough money and it won’t be a problem.
I have a big plan in place. It's boring, but oh well. Given lottery winners are tens or hundreds of times more likely to be murder victims; robbed; die of a drug overdose; be kidnapped; bankrupted; and so on - I've needed a cast-iron plan.
These numbers, of course, aren't exact.
1a. TELL NO-ONE. (At least, not immediately, despite the likely urge.)
1b. Get on to Camelot. They know what to do. Insist on anonymity when they come round, and all that.
1c. Hire a lawyer. Ideally a proper big nob lawyer, partner at a firm, that sort of thing.
2. Still TELL NO-ONE. I'm not going public. I'm probably not telling family or friends yet, as much as is possible. I will "fall ill", or something.
3a. Tell my lawyer I intend to give £15m of this jackpot to family and friends. This will NOT be in the form of a lump sum. I may, however, clear a few debts (student loans, mortgages, what have you).
Trust funds going through stock indices and what have you shall be set up for my cousins; money shall go toward an annuity from which my brother can pull money out of/house deposit/that sort of thing, if he so wants; and for my parents and other relatives etc etc.
Get lawyer/accountant to sort all that out. This leaves £73m.
3b. I'll take £3m to myself "for the time being" (immediate expenses e.g. my lawyer, maybe an accountant, buying a property quickly so I can do all this in private). This leaves £70m.
(Might have to do 3b immediately post-Camelot as part of step 1, but who knows)
4. If possible, dump £15m in UK government bonds that should be paying at around 2-3% (or another govt, if possible). That should be a bona fide income of, hopefully, £300k-450k a year. That is rock solid money. If the UK stops paying on their government debt, then money is nowhere near our biggest worry. This leaves £55m.
5. Be boring again and dump £30m into an index fund, with low fees. Hopefully said fund will pay out at around 4%. In 20 years, that £30m becomes £65m. Tidy. This leaves £25m.
------------
So - I have now, hopefully, guaranteed myself an income of at least £300k a year unless the Bank of England is burning; provided for family and friends in a way they would never have imagined; and I have a huge pot in the form of an index fund that will keep growing at market rates.
Life is good, so step 6:
------------
6a. Donate perhaps £10m, if that, to charity. Likely contenders are Anthony Nolan, Alzheimers Research, and NSPCC.
6b. Tell everyone I've won £8m* on the lottery, and do what I want! Buy a couple of houses here and abroad, go on holidays to wherever, party with mates, maybe invest in a couple of fun-looking startups, maybe even go back to university.
(*£8m being roughly the sort of amount I reckon would set oneself up for life - I'd still have £7m left.)
Sorted.
No coke and whores?
Youngsters today eh Daz! No point in winning if you're not gonna snort n shag! Shocking !
I have a big plan in place. It's boring, but oh well. Given lottery winners are tens or hundreds of times more likely to be murder victims; robbed; die of a drug overdose; be kidnapped; bankrupted; and so on - I've needed a cast-iron plan.
These numbers, of course, aren't exact.
1a. TELL NO-ONE. (At least, not immediately, despite the likely urge.)
1b. Get on to Camelot. They know what to do. Insist on anonymity when they come round, and all that.
1c. Hire a lawyer. Ideally a proper big nob lawyer, partner at a firm, that sort of thing.
2. Still TELL NO-ONE. I'm not going public. I'm probably not telling family or friends yet, as much as is possible. I will "fall ill", or something.
3a. Tell my lawyer I intend to give £15m of this jackpot to family and friends. This will NOT be in the form of a lump sum. I may, however, clear a few debts (student loans, mortgages, what have you).
Trust funds going through stock indices and what have you shall be set up for my cousins; money shall go toward an annuity from which my brother can pull money out of/house deposit/that sort of thing, if he so wants; and for my parents and other relatives etc etc.
Get lawyer/accountant to sort all that out. This leaves £73m.
3b. I'll take £3m to myself "for the time being" (immediate expenses e.g. my lawyer, maybe an accountant, buying a property quickly so I can do all this in private). This leaves £70m.
(Might have to do 3b immediately post-Camelot as part of step 1, but who knows)
4. If possible, dump £15m in UK government bonds that should be paying at around 2-3% (or another govt, if possible). That should be a bona fide income of, hopefully, £300k-450k a year. That is rock solid money. If the UK stops paying on their government debt, then money is nowhere near our biggest worry. This leaves £55m.
5. Be boring again and dump £30m into an index fund, with low fees. Hopefully said fund will pay out at around 4%. In 20 years, that £30m becomes £65m. Tidy. This leaves £25m.
------------
So - I have now, hopefully, guaranteed myself an income of at least £300k a year unless the Bank of England is burning; provided for family and friends in a way they would never have imagined; and I have a huge pot in the form of an index fund that will keep growing at market rates.
Life is good, so step 6:
------------
6a. Donate perhaps £10m, if that, to charity. Likely contenders are Anthony Nolan, Alzheimers Research, and NSPCC.
6b. Tell everyone I've won £8m* on the lottery, and do what I want! Buy a couple of houses here and abroad, go on holidays to wherever, party with mates, maybe invest in a couple of fun-looking startups, maybe even go back to university.
(*£8m being roughly the sort of amount I reckon would set oneself up for life - I'd still have £7m left.)
Sorted.
At 3a, one of your cousins sells your story to The Scum for £3k (you know which one it would be), you’re kidnapped, taken to a favela in Abbey Wood, stripped and force fed pot noodle until you cough up the key to your safety deposit box, all because you didn’t force your family into signing NDA’s and behaviour agreements......
I would just buy a new set of golf clubs - I'm easily pleased.
Maybe Carnoustie, Royal Lytham & St Annes, Turnberry, Wentworth and Pebble Beach.
Surely first port of call should be forking out to get proper broadband installed at your place? Admittedly that'd probably cost you as much as buying a golf club, particularly if BT are involved.
I have a big plan in place. It's boring, but oh well. Given lottery winners are tens or hundreds of times more likely to be murder victims; robbed; die of a drug overdose; be kidnapped; bankrupted; and so on - I've needed a cast-iron plan.
These numbers, of course, aren't exact.
1a. TELL NO-ONE. (At least, not immediately, despite the likely urge.)
1b. Get on to Camelot. They know what to do. Insist on anonymity when they come round, and all that.
1c. Hire a lawyer. Ideally a proper big nob lawyer, partner at a firm, that sort of thing.
2. Still TELL NO-ONE. I'm not going public. I'm probably not telling family or friends yet, as much as is possible. I will "fall ill", or something.
3a. Tell my lawyer I intend to give £15m of this jackpot to family and friends. This will NOT be in the form of a lump sum. I may, however, clear a few debts (student loans, mortgages, what have you).
Trust funds going through stock indices and what have you shall be set up for my cousins; money shall go toward an annuity from which my brother can pull money out of/house deposit/that sort of thing, if he so wants; and for my parents and other relatives etc etc.
Get lawyer/accountant to sort all that out. This leaves £73m.
3b. I'll take £3m to myself "for the time being" (immediate expenses e.g. my lawyer, maybe an accountant, buying a property quickly so I can do all this in private). This leaves £70m.
(Might have to do 3b immediately post-Camelot as part of step 1, but who knows)
4. If possible, dump £15m in UK government bonds that should be paying at around 2-3% (or another govt, if possible). That should be a bona fide income of, hopefully, £300k-450k a year. That is rock solid money. If the UK stops paying on their government debt, then money is nowhere near our biggest worry. This leaves £55m.
5. Be boring again and dump £30m into an index fund, with low fees. Hopefully said fund will pay out at around 4%. In 20 years, that £30m becomes £65m. Tidy. This leaves £25m.
------------
So - I have now, hopefully, guaranteed myself an income of at least £300k a year unless the Bank of England is burning; provided for family and friends in a way they would never have imagined; and I have a huge pot in the form of an index fund that will keep growing at market rates.
Life is good, so step 6:
------------
6a. Donate perhaps £10m, if that, to charity. Likely contenders are Anthony Nolan, Alzheimers Research, and NSPCC.
6b. Tell everyone I've won £8m* on the lottery, and do what I want! Buy a couple of houses here and abroad, go on holidays to wherever, party with mates, maybe invest in a couple of fun-looking startups, maybe even go back to university.
(*£8m being roughly the sort of amount I reckon would set oneself up for life - I'd still have £7m left.)
Sorted.
At 3a, one of your cousins sells your story to The Scum for £3k (you know which one it would be), you’re kidnapped, taken to a favela in Abbey Wood, stripped and force fed pot noodle until you cough up the key to your safety deposit box, all because you didn’t force your family into signing NDA’s and behaviour agreements......
Comments
- Stick £5m in some sort of bank account
- Sort family and friends out (clear debts, pay off mortgages, hire hitmen for).
_ Then give the rest to a couple of small charities, were'd I'd see it make a difference
But yeah, top quality care for nan, house for Mum, houses for both my sisters, house for my brother (but in my nephew’s name so my brother doesn’t fuck that up!). Money in a trust fund for said nephew. House in Spain, house in Italy and one in Scandinavia somewhere (Christmas card shit).
Then I’d go back to uni and do degrees in computer engineering and history.
Oh, and a mountain of drugs, pay for my best mate to have his dream wedding to his missus and then take all my mates on one hell of a stag for him.
I’d also like to start a chain of vegan fast food restaurants to cater for our growing numbers.
And a kayak. Definitely a kayak.
I’d pay for a week’s car parking in a UK seaside resort
I’d by my mates a round of drinks in a London pub
I’d do a food shop from Marks & Spencer’s
I’ll by a ‘cheeky’ Nando’s instead of a KFC
I’d take the kids to the cinema and let them have a large popcorn and coke
I’d take the wife for a meal up town without a Buyagift or Groupon discount voucher
That should take care of about £85m
No point in winning if you're not gonna snort n shag!
Shocking !
Maybe Carnoustie, Royal Lytham & St Annes, Turnberry, Wentworth and Pebble Beach.
On the plus side you’ll have enough money and it won’t be a problem.
Explains wealth without them expecting large cuts of my cash.