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How long is too long to stay living with parents?

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  • Moved out when I was 22 into a flat with the missus, had a kid few months later and we all moved back to my parents for a year due to complications with my son. Was pretty difficult after having the freedom, but don't think we could survived without the year back at my parents. 26 now and we own our house with no mortgage so obviously incredibly lucky. Looking back wish we didn't rush to move in together and waste a year renting, so expensive.
  • My daughter is 21 in July - son just turned 18 - I cannot see them moving out until they (via my wife and I) start inheriting from grandparents - sad but this is the world now

    My wife and I bought our first house in Crayford in 1996 with a 5% deposit that we saved for a year plus some money from parents and grandparents on a house that cost £56k - houses in that street are now at least £250k

    Something has gone wrong in our society
  • I left home when i got married at 22, as my dad was disabled and had to give up work at 50, didn’t have the advantage of the bank of Mum and dad, I used to pay my parents rent when I was at home.

    I decided if I ever had kids that when they got a job they would pay rent, which I would put aside for them, as a deposit towards a mortgage or a wedding.

    My eldest son was not too impressed that the day after he got his first job I took him to his bank to set up a standing order, he whinged like mad about the principle of paying anything, and thought he should live here rent free.

    Every time he has got a pay rise the rent has gone up, and now he just accepts paying out for stuff is a part of life.

    Best to get them used to it at a young age, rather than getting into trouble when older.

    I’m pleased for him he’s no where near ready to move out, but he’s done well, I think he would have blown the lot if he wasn’t paying rent.

    I think it’s unbelievably tough these days to get started in property unless you inherit from parents / grandparents.
  • Paid rent and moved out at 24. Brought a house with a mate so we could get on the ladder. Brought a doer upper and sold after 2 years with enough to go our separate ways. Still the way to go IMO.

    Mum had saved all the rent I had given her which was a fantastic and most welcome help.
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  • Maybe because some don’t want to spend their whole life lining someone else’s pockets or maybe because some don’t want to get to 50 with nothing to show for it. Just two ideas off the top of my head.
  • SE23 said:

    Why own somewhere that you do not really own ?

    What ?
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  • SE23 said:

    JaShea99 said:

    Maybe because some don’t want to spend their whole life lining someone else’s pockets or maybe because some don’t want to get to 50 with nothing to show for it. Just two ideas off the top of my head.

    Am not lining anyone's pocket! Rent is regulated and is at least half as cheap as in the UK and my pension will be at least twice as much! The buying culture in England holds no dividends now unless you are very lucky.
    So when you retire and maybe want to move, your landlord will reimburse all your rent to the tune of £250K, as he insisted that you didn't line his pockets :smile:

    And your new landlord will let you live there rent free, as he wouldn't want you to be at a disadvantage to all those homeowners, who have paid off their mortgages and no longer have to pay for their accommodation.
  • can't ever see a point where my kids will be able to afford to move out!.

    I bought my first place when I was 23....just won't happen nowadays

    They could rent?
  • I've just turned 23. Moved out to go to uni but moved back in when I graduated as had no choice. Couldn't afford anywhere else even though I went straight into a grad job.

    Been at home for nearly a year now and saved decent money by being fairly careful and not being an idiot. I do pay rent but only to cover the costs of me being at home. My parents don't make anything from me. If anything I reckon they underestimate it.

    I'm moving out in august with the missus. Have budgeted that we will rent for a year (max 18 months) and then buy somewhere small and in need of some work but a place we can call ours.

    We are lucky that we both have grad jobs (and I've been promoted early) and that my grandfather who died recently (one of my huge inspirations in life - started from nothing, pre welfare state in a poor family who lived off the eggs of the few chickens they kept in their yard, worked his socks off his whole life. Eventually became a lawyer and did well for himself. Every penny he has he cared for and accounted for in order to ensure his children and grandchildren would never have the start to life that he did - but that's a whole different story) left me some money to help us out.

    Without that luck - and a hell of a lot of hard work (I have worked full time every summer since I was 15 and saved the cash - worked my way through uni and minimised debt - worked my arse off to get a graduate job) it wouldn't have been even within our dreams.

    I thought you lived on a train ?
    Feels like it. I'm on one now.
  • I left home at 17 but kids now can’t even leave school until they are 18 and are far less socially aware than we were thanks to being stuck in front of computers and games consoles all their spare time . I full expect my kids to be in the house well into their 20’s but 30 is far too long.

    I left home when I finished school at 18.

    I had the social awareness of a potato.
  • The previous tax benefits for buy to letting owners were way too beneficial and have distorted the residential property market across the UK, as have the crazy low interest rates on mortgages.

    If you rent in the UK, you have been lining someone’s pocket.

    The European market is very different as far as I know. Rents are lower and affordable as per @se23’s post above. Returns expected by owners are of a much lower yield with no potential capital gains.

    Margaret Thatcher’s governments placed the idea of home ownership as a keystone policy to bring in voters from wards that previously had collective ideals.

    Alongside cutting tax relief for scientific research and other actions benefitting the country in the medium term, one of the main failures of government policy in my lifetime.
  • Left home when I went to uni, came back and moved in with the (ex)Mrs for a year and a bit (don't do it @cantersaddick, theyre all mental) ... That went Pete Tong and moved back in with the rents for 2 months, then was lucky enough to get offered a job out in Switzerland... Now renting a nice pad out here, buying not even remotely an option...20-30% deposit and extorionate prices. Plan on buying a place in the UK to rent out to my younger sister and her fella at some point. Without hard graft and (a lot of) luck it's nigh on impossible for youngsters to get on the property ladder and maintain a decent social life unless it's a silver spoon jobbie nowdays.
  • Went to uni at 18, moved back in on graduating when 20.

    Left to travel at 21, moved back in on my return at 23.

    Left for good at about 28 I think.

    Should have rented between 23-28 looking back though.

    Parents never charged rent but I voluntarily paid into an account a few hundred a month and gave it to them when I moved out.

    Got a mate still at his folks and turns 40 soon, way too old and he is in a proper rut and could probably do with his folks forcing the issue.
  • The previous tax benefits for buy to letting owners were way too beneficial and have distorted the residential property market across the UK, as have the crazy low interest rates on mortgages.

    If you rent in the UK, you have been lining someone’s pocket.

    The European market is very different as far as I know. Rents are lower and affordable as per @se23’s post above. Returns expected by owners are of a much lower yield with no potential capital gains.

    Margaret Thatcher’s governments placed the idea of home ownership as a keystone policy to bring in voters from wards that previously had collective ideals.

    Alongside cutting tax relief for scientific research and other actions benefitting the country in the medium term, one of the main failures of government policy in my lifetime.

    This ^^^^^^ with knobs on.
    Governments, (all colours but mostly ours), have an annoying habit of making short term policies for short term power.
    I’ve often wondered why we admire the German economy so much but never think of copying them.
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  • My niece's rent in Battersea is 10 times my mortgage payment! Her Dad is Dutch and renting was the norm in Amsterdam, but the worry is what happens if she no longer has a salary that pays the rent because the State pension won't scratch the surface and when you are living hand to mouth a personal pension isn't a priority/reality.
  • can't ever see a point where my kids will be able to afford to move out!.

    I bought my first place when I was 23....just won't happen nowadays

    They could rent?
    Think I’d rather they stayed with us and tried to save for a deposit to buy, mortgage and rent payments won’t be any different - it’s the deposit that’s the killer
  • I rented for about 5 years from the age of 25-30 after a promotion at work put me in a position where I felt I could afford it- turned out to be pretty tough for a single guy at the time, half my money went to rent, plus adding in all the other assorted bills/council tax/food etc meant I had very little disposable income or money to save - at one point as little as £30 a week to put by, or for a rare night out. Wasn't much of a life and felt like I was just working for my landlord to live the luxurious life! (owned a crappy fiesta for a car by the way and had a pay as you go mobile) The thing that killed me was the rent increases each year - went up by £25 quid a month each year without fail which you really notice after a couple of years when rent is sky high to begin with.

    Anyway I was made redundant in my job at 30, 3 weeks before Christmas. Decided to go into a new field starting at the bottom, wouldn't have been able to do it if I hadn't moved back to my mums place for 18 months or so whilst I trained up and broke in but was best decision I ever made. Was much lower paid than previous role and yet in that time I still managed to save half of my wages each month, pay my way to my mum (I paid £350 a month which was as much as she would accept) and still had money to socialise and do what I wanted without having to worry about affording it which was a stark contrast to when I was renting. (I also did my share of cooking and hovering, not washing/ironing though I'm hopeless!!)

    Ended up saving enough for a deposit on a lovely one bed flat (still required help from an inheritance though or it would have taken another year) and have a mortgage now paying way less than my rent was to start with, am now in a better job and doing ok for myself. Wouldn't have done that without a year and a half back at my mums at 30 though, and all of that stigma and shame I felt at the time for having to do it - well it all seems a bit silly now.

    In hindsight if I had stayed with mum instead of bowing to societal pressures (never from her she never pushed me out) at 25 I think I would have been a lot further down the line of owning my place outright by now - renting at 25 ended up setting me back at least 3 years of mortgage payments I'd say - i'd never recommend it.

  • And that's just it with renting in this country. It's bloody expensive! It is for those who cannot afford or be eligible for a mortgage and those who like to move around.

    Europe is a completely different dynamic as someone has already pointed out. Landlords are prevented from taking the piss. Not to say I think all landlords over here take the piss however when I see a 2 bed mid terrace house like my first place commanding a monthly rent of 850 quid before bills I feel very bad for those who are essentially trapped as no way could you save anytbing like the sum needed for a deposit
  • Carter said:

    And that's just it with renting in this country. It's bloody expensive! It is for those who cannot afford or be eligible for a mortgage and those who like to move around.

    Europe is a completely different dynamic as someone has already pointed out. Landlords are prevented from taking the piss. Not to say I think all landlords over here take the piss however when I see a 2 bed mid terrace house like my first place commanding a monthly rent of 850 quid before bills I feel very bad for those who are essentially trapped as no way could you save anytbing like the sum needed for a deposit

    I was paying £800 a month for a one bed by the end! It was around the corner from my job so I tried to justify it to myself as I was saving on petrol but it was extortionate really. The problem is there is no control over what a landlord can charge it is all supply and demand at the end of the day - there was so much demand they can pretty much charge what they like and somebody will pay it.

    Trapped is exactly the right word for it.
  • Moved out when I was 18 when I went to University, and barring a couple of little spells where I've been staying with parents for a few weeks here and there, I've rented ever since.

    Until last month that is when I bought my first place (30 now).

    I have a mate who is an intelligent bloke but has never had the self confidence to fulfil potential. One of those who always starts something and never finishes it. He's 30 and lives in a shed at the end of his parents garden. He has got himself into such a bad credit rating that even with a perfect lifestyle he won't be out of the red until his mid thirties.

    I know a lot of other people who unfortunately I can't see ever being able to buy and they've no idea when they'll move away from their parents or stop renting.
  • In Italy, your parents are legally obliged to have you living with them until you decide to leave.
  • From the parent's perspective - our 17 year old son is likely to leave home to go to Uni and we would like him to go to the one in our town. Fighting a losing battle there though.

    You have to let them go, but also let them know there is always a room for them.
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