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Appalling and sweeping generalisation alert!!

HalixHalix
edited April 2018 in Not Sports Related
After careful consideration and a dreadful journey, I have concluded that there are three categories for appalling drivers, far worse than your sterotypical white van man or teenage yobo:-

1/- Useless and unaware (two telltale signs, wearing a hat in the car and/or driving with sunvisor down on a non sunny day). Often has stickers in rear window about cats, National Trust and slowing down for horses.
2/- Agressive, tailgating and inconsiderate (Usually driving BMW, Merc (typically Silver),and especially Audis) particularly adept at cutting across lanes to use exit sliproad at last minute.
3/- Skip Lorries.

Im sorry it had to be said.
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Comments

  • addick05addick05
    Not going to argue with that - and there are people STILL using mobile phones when behind a wheel!
  • StigStig
    A new broom sweeps clean.
  • Super_Eddie_YoudsSuper_Eddie_Youds
    Silver Mercedes drivers are a category to themselves
  • Missed ItMissed It
    As an Audi owner that drives a bit like an old lady these days, I would say I am the one exception that proves the rule as far as twatbastard flash German car drivers goes.
  • HalixHalix
    bobmunro said:

    I drive a German skip lorry, and I love horses.

    Do you want some?? ;-)

    If you drive a skip lorry you have probably already given my car some!
  • HalixHalix
    edited April 2018
    killerandflash said:

    Can I add Toyota Priuses with TfL stickers on them (often Ubers) parking on double yellows with their hazards on...

    Categary 2 but smug with it, because they are saving the planet.
  • colthe3rdcolthe3rd
    Category for black cab drivers as well.
  • HalixHalix
    Super_Eddie_Youds said:

    Silver Mercedes drivers are a category to themselves

    Agreed amended accordingly.
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  • AlgarveaddickAlgarveaddick
    Missed It said:

    As an Audi owner that drives a bit like an old lady these days, I would say I am the one exception that proves the rule as far as twatbastard flash German car drivers goes.

    Then buy a fucking hat ...
  • PaddyP17PaddyP17
    colthe3rd said:

    Category for black cab drivers as well.

    I fucking HATE hackney carriages. They're unbelievably entitled and aggressive. I once crossed a road not at a crossing, but where there was a massive buildup behind a red light. The cabbie I attempted to cross in front of had left a yard between him and the car in front, but on seeing me crossing, moved forward so I couldn't get past. He then unleashed some choice swear words. Might have had a racial edge to it, but I don't know - there have been too many occasions where cabbies have told me to fuck off back to my own country, or asked my mates to do the same, or otherwise complain about "the foreigners".
  • ValiantphilValiantphil
    For category one, you need to add:
    Rear wiper working when it is not raining.
  • GreenieGreenie
    I pay my road tax*...ergo I own the road.

    I also ride a motorbike, a bloody great big one, I assume ALL car drivers are myopic, I have to believe it and am seldom proved wrong.

    May I also add middle plane hoggers, Ive got a mate and as soon as he gets on the motorway hits the middle lane and trundles along at between 60-65 oblivious to the tailback behind him.
    I was in his motor and pointed it out to him, 'fuck 'em' was his reply!!

    *Cue bellend who will say theres no such thing as road tax.
  • StigStig
    bobmunro said:

    I drive a German skip lorry, and I love horses.

    Do you want some?? ;-)

    Does he want what - a skip full of horse shit?
  • RedChaserRedChaser
    colthe3rd said:

    Category for black cab drivers as well.

    image
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  • bobmunrobobmunro
    robinofottershaw said:

    Those that sit in the middle lane of the motorway with nothing in front of them and no one on the inside lane drive me bonkers. Especially when I am stuck behind them with a line of cars flashing past in the outside lane.

    No, no - when you drive a big 4x4 you need the space either side that the middle lane affords you.
  • iamdaniamdan
    I own a 3series, yes I am a selfish bastard.
  • SE7toSG3SE7toSG3
    Nissan Micra's, 4 or 5 occupants, centre lane regardless of anything else.
  • blackpool72blackpool72
    A category for drivers who cannot park properly in supermarket car parks.
    The lines are clearly painted so you can park between them not on them.
    Wa#%#$RSVP.
  • TalalTalal
    Signals in general. It's either the lack of them or incorrect usage (saw someone do a turn in the road with hazards on the other day).
    Then you get bus drivers and mopeds, usually takeaway drivers, who often fail to cancel them for a considerable time.
  • soapy_jonessoapy_jones
    Greenie said:

    I pay my road tax*...ergo I own the road.

    I also ride a motorbike, a bloody great big one, I assume ALL car drivers are myopic, I have to believe it and am seldom proved wrong.

    May I also add middle plane hoggers, Ive got a mate and as soon as he gets on the motorway hits the middle lane and trundles along at between 60-65 oblivious to the tailback behind him.
    I was in his motor and pointed it out to him, 'fuck 'em' was his reply!!

    *Cue bellend who will say theres no such thing as road tax.

    robinofottershaw said:

    Those that sit in the middle lane of the motorway with nothing in front of them and no one on the inside lane drive me bonkers. Especially when I am stuck behind them with a line of cars flashing past in the outside lane.

    THIS BIGTIME
  • ForeverAddicktedForeverAddickted
    robinofottershaw said:

    Those that sit in the middle lane of the motorway with nothing in front of them and no one on the inside lane drive me bonkers. Especially when I am stuck behind them with a line of cars flashing past in the outside lane.

    Cars should be fitted with a device at the front of the vehicle

    If someone is driving in the middle for no reason in front of you, the device automatically reaches out and flips their vehicle into the side of the road and out of everyone's way!!
  • bobmunrobobmunro
    Greenie said:

    I pay my road tax*...ergo I own the road.

    I also ride a motorbike, a bloody great big one, I assume ALL car drivers are myopic, I have to believe it and am seldom proved wrong.

    May I also add middle plane hoggers, Ive got a mate and as soon as he gets on the motorway hits the middle lane and trundles along at between 60-65 oblivious to the tailback behind him.
    I was in his motor and pointed it out to him, 'fuck 'em' was his reply!!

    *Cue bellend who will say theres no such thing as road tax.

    There's no such thing as road tax.

    Doh...
  • soapy_jonessoapy_jones
    edited April 2018
    Those yellow hatched no entry boxes at junctions that a surprisingly high percentage of the car driving population seem to ignore and thus block the flow of traffic.

    Now, show me the link to a petition I can sign to have six foot long spikes or "man traps" for the want of a better two words, to fire out of the road and skewer these retards and their vehicles after say, 2 minutes. Then we could all have the pleasure of watching their useless decomposing carcasses for weeks, this would also act as a deterrent to even the most selfish of twats out on the roads...

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