"...unfortunately the £10 million gained from the Lookman sale is allocated to the ongoing Sparrows Lane development. We have a contract with Burnley to provide them with 2 players every season and SL will support this. With regard to recruitment our chief scout Mr. Driesen, has been extensively playing FIFA Ultimate Team and from there has identified several players in the game who are currently out of contract in real life."
What else do you think was in this email?
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Comments
They will need to be trained and I have a Belgian trainer who knows the special things that work with them, like a good diet and regular exercise. Do not think I am dictating to you but if you pick 11 of them that is the optimum number for a soccer team. You may want to place them in lines across the pitch so that they do not all run after the ball at the same time as I have observed young people doing in my local park when I am driven through it. I will be watching for you on the live stream when you play MK Dons AFC on Sunday, so please give me the traditonal English wave with your two fingers I always get from the good Charlton fans.'
Chicken Chow Mein
Crispy chilli beef
King prawn sate
Special fried rice
Seaweed
"you like huh?"
It must be a big day for you on Saturday, facing your old team. Well don't worry, I'll hev the team sheet to you by 1pm. If things aren't going so well on they day don't worry you can always do what I do. Find a little restaurant and have a live feed while the match is on. Chimay and mussels, that's the way to live.
I recently had to gaffa tape my shoes back together so dont go crying about lack of funds for a midfielder that can read a football match to the press. I will be happy however to supply a crayon drawing to our existing fit midfield of the sort of thing i require.
Anything else, the useless looking article that swans in around 11am twice a week will be happy to fuck up.
The clock is ticking.
Roland
Over in Belgium, one of the players is called a goalkeeper, he wears a different colour shirt and is allowed to handle (use his hands) the ball. Please ensure this happens on Saturday.
Roland
My statistical analysis shows that League One is conquered by having a strong spine in the team. The formation this week should be a 1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1 line up. We might be vulnerable down the flanks but we will be invincible down the middle.
I've just seen your contract. WTF? Excuse my French. I said to give you a two-and-a-half month contract and that dozy bint put years! You won't mind sorting it out by resigning at the end of January, will you?
Your pal on in Belgium,
Roland
Great to have you back, hope you and Katrien are getting along. Was great to see you, and man your looking well, couple of pounds gone on and you seem to have forgotten how to speak Flemish ? Anyway, keep up the good work, we get the team sheet to you by 10 on Saturday morning. An KAREL, never forget, get the lads to spread out a bit !
All best Roland
This article is about the overall concept of games called football. For specific versions of the game, the balls themselves and other uses of the term, see Football (disambiguation).
Several codes of football. Images, from top down, left to right: association football, Australian rules football, international rules football, a rugby union scrum, rugby league, and American football.
Football is a family of team sports that involve, to varying degrees, kicking a ball with the foot to score a goal. Unqualified, the word football is understood to refer to whichever form of football is the most popular in the regional context in which the word appears. Sports commonly called 'football' in certain places include: association football (known as soccer in some countries); gridiron football (specifically American football or Canadian football); Australian rules football; rugby football (either rugby league or rugby union); and Gaelic football.[1][2] These different variations of football are known as football codes.
Various forms of football can be identified in history, often as popular peasant games. Contemporary codes of football can be traced back to the codification of these games at English public schools during the nineteenth century.[3][4]
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As i'm sure you've been very busy i've taken liberties again and got our chief scout to do analysis on your opposition for Saturday as I suspect you haven't had time.
He said they aren't very good, in fact below average, their last manager was really poor apparently, we've had a few of these over the last few years, how difficult can it be to follow simple instructions? He also says we are more than average so you shouldn't have any trouble winning this. He played the game out on his playstation thingy and got a 7-1 win so I've got my wife to put a £100,000 on that result.
He's also suggested due to their inefficiencies you may want to experiment with the following lineup
We kick off (don't lose the toss, double headed coin in the Ref's draw so make sure Johnnie calls heads this time) in a 4411 formation and just run towards their end, much like they do in Rugby. The group should form as we push up in a 2242 formation with the 4 in the famous rectangular position (it's like a square but wider), whoever is the quickest should go first so i've arranged a 100m dash test for Friday. If at any point during the game the opposition get the ball then everyone should run back in a 721 formation, or was it 127, I can't recall now, he says thats the best defensive unit you can have anyway and sure you understand what he means.
He mentioned that O'laughlin has a better voice than you so he should give the orders from the touchline, Karel had a lot of success with the instruction 'spread out' so you might want to get Chris to try that, in fact maybe you should sit up with Katrien in the box by the window and help her entertain the other managers we have coming to the games, do keep an eye out for any fans hanging their washing above though, they are a 'weird' lot of people down there, who'd bring their washing to football to hang out to dry, the only thing we hang out to dry at charlton are out managers. Last time it was bed sheets with arrows on, do people really need direction to where the bed is over there?
Anyway, good luck with it, i'll be over next week to the sparrows den facility and can run through some instructions I have for you. I'll probably email you during the game with some further instructions anyway so please keep your company smartphone with you and hand it back to security before you leave the ground, we don't want these emails getting into the wrong hands.
Lastly, a lot of Charlton fans I think were from Europe as since the brexit business they can't come anymore so we'll only open two stands, should be plenty as Katrien has been a great success as you know and with the 20k group we seem to have now finally reached our target of 20,000 empty seats, she's a real achiever is my Katrien. Don't know what i'd do without her, thank god I met her in that night club when I did.
Yours
Roly.
Please can you place on Ebay anything left in the office from the previous incumbent. This will form the basis of your January transfer fund*
Best reagrds,
RolAND
Unfortunately he has only managed to pull Peter Parsley and Nabby Sarr from all those packs, is currently bottom of Division 10 but we have learnt from our mistakes.
Thomas has been scouting this weeks opponents Milton Keynes extensively on football manager and goals on 5. To put it bluntly he knows them better than you and will send you the team and formation for the weekend on Friday.
Regards,
Roland
PS - If you're getting a taxi watch out for that pesky red and yellow one.
As we say in Belgium, a shoe is not dead while the sole survives.
I am pleased you have taken my suggestion to keep Chris onboard.
I think there are many cheap players in Europe and Driesen can help you with finding a football team organisation for the games that utilises the best of this cheaper talent.
I know you will work with Katrien to ensure that the playing budget is significantly reduced again in January.
You will remember that we discussed that money from player sales does not add to this budget, it is the weekly expenses that we are most concerned with. Of course a return to the championship is ever more likely as you and Driesen work together on the new team organisation.
Now that you have met Tony Keohane, I'm sure you agree he can help to shape the off pitch activities and matchday experience with you. Katrien has nothing but good words for him and I think you will easily be able to see what an asset to the club he is.
I hope the matchday experiences continue to improve.
I look forward to seeing them all at some point and to catching up with you should either the results not go your way or should some of the fans once again disturb my home town.
I have one motto here and that is I am the boss. Other than that you are free to ask Chris if you want to change anything.
M. Duchatelet
Here in Belgium, we get all the players together each day in a field, or park, for a sort of rehearsal for the game, or 'training'. Everyone puts on football kit, runs around and kicks the ball, almost like a real match.
Thomas says that apparently 'bibs' can be helpful here. I told him that judging by your ill-fitting suits you must have no problem getting food into your mouth, but I'm sure he'll explain on Monday. He said to meet in 'Sharon's Lane' - there's a spare building site with loads of room.
Roland