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Manager / Life Coach Vacancy CAFC Pre School

We are now accepting applications for a manager / life coach position at Charlton Athletic pre school football club.

Headmaster : Uncle Roland. Kids love him. He has duct tape for shoes.

Deputy head: Katrien Meire. She is always smiling, even when she is sad or angry.

Day to day duties will include:
Training: Regular games of dodgeball. (We are very good at this).
Tactics: Lego blocks are available.
Team spirit: if episodes of Noddy do not work then give the kids loads and loads of sugar.

Facilities: New super safe facilities are under construction (honest) with soft play areas, child size toilets and a fun bath. In the meantime please ensure you keep the children away from the ditch.
Staffing: We have a constant revolving door of supply teachers. For many of them it is their first (and last) time teaching at this level.

The school nurse: Our resident nurse has recently retired but we have a handy supply of plasters (pink cuddly bear smiles imprinted). Obviously a spoonful of sugar will help the medicine go down.

Play time: We have weekly games against similar pre schools from around the country. Opposition includes HMP Belmarsh pre school.

Local parents and fans come to watch. They bring colourful balloons and stressballs. Which adds to the fun.
The game includes pass the parcel. But the parcel inevitably ends up lost somewhere behind either young Stephen Henderson or Master Pope.
We have recently appointed a scout who will identity potential additions to the class. He has already arranged to visit a local creche.

At the end of every term, we say goodbye to our more talented children as they move on to year one.
The occasional child will move onto secondary school.

Random children from across Europe may arrive unannounced. Please accept and integrate them. Many of them are talented in different ways but please treat them all equally.

We also have a naughty corner. This can get extremely busy. We have a child called Tony who sits here on a regular basis.

We currently have a glut of older children on our books, do not be concerned, we plan to move them on as soon as possible.

Salary: 1 trillion a week#

# We use monopoly play money.

Hours: 35 hours a week but you only need to be around when the deputy head visits.#

# 2 hours a day.


  • Sounds good. What's the hours and pay?
  • iamdan said:

    Sounds good. What's the hours and pay?

    turn up when you feel like it. Payment is a free season ticket.
  • iamdan said:

    Sounds good. What's the hours and pay?

    turn up when you feel like it. Payment is a free season ticket.

    Don't worry about payment in that case. Starting Tuesday 9am.
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Roland Out Forever!