In the April Fans Forum minutes, Katrien has said that as part of their learning from mistakes and planning for next season they're working with Target 20K to investigate sofa alternatives.
I thought it would be useful for the SMT if we could have a brainstorm here for some alternatives in the spirit of Pinocchio's statement that "communications between the club and supporters have not broken down"
I'll get the ball rolling -
Stocks - each week a different member of the SMT watch the game from the stocks, while the North Stand throw club-provided rotten tomatoes at them. This serves multiple purposes, as well as improving the matchday experience for the customers it also keeps the objects thrown from the stands away from the pitch and focused on Katrien's smirking mug.
Jacuzzi - open to females only, Dickie Murray chooses two ladies each week from the pie cam to sit either side of him in the hot tub while he kicks back with his aviators on, arms around them gangster style.
Any more?
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Comments
The stool football happening on the pitch would make the seat bearer really feel part of the action.
Free half time psychoanalysis, "So tell me, why do you think you still come to The Valley even though it gives you no pleasure..?"
Miniature train - Railway loving Charlton customers can indulge twin passions simultaneously, watching the game from a replica of Stephenson's Rocket
Political hot potato - fans discuss middle eastern countries whilst sat in a giant jacket potato
Dover for the continent, Upper West stand for the incontinent.
former players in full kits should be made to do keepie uppies as the real game is going on. any former player who does over 10 is rewarded with a contract with a network club. any player doing keepie uppies will however need to complete the task and stay injury free otherwise the offer of a contract is withdrawn.
former managers will be armed with a microphone and whilst the game is going on will be offfering coaching tips (for the whole stadium to hear) as play develops. Peeters (for example) will be permitted to speak up if a player messes up but has to honest with his assessement i.e. that was a fucking awful cross by Fox or, in the case of an easy chance missed will be allowed to say words to the effect-"my nan could have scored that" etc
Luzon has to participate in a crouched position, only momentarily standing up to dance to Sweet Dreams which could be played over the tannoy at any given moment.
Fraeye will be the expert on formations and any goals which may involve a laundry basket in the build-up.
Riga can model next year's Next suit collection whilst commentating.
ex-employees will have free reign to speak out (on a microphone) about the regime, pre-match, at half time and once we've lost the game. no holds barred here. during their week, a circular table will be set up so frank discussions can be held between up to 6 ex-employess (all miked up). crowd particpation is encouraged. (Louis Mend will not be invited to this).
If they were to get KM to go on the pitch at half time and publicly 'stick her fucking sofa up her arse' (sideways optional) I think we would get 20000 in the ground!
We could adapt this and use a different item of household furniture each week!
How about this... why does it need a replacement/alternative. It was fine the way it was. I loved that little spot of nothing.