Want to know what Katrien Meire got up to on some of the two days off every week which she keeps ‘free from appointments’ before she went to Dubai? Read on.
We are sure that everyone by now knows that Katrien Meire recently received an award for her ‘achievements’ from her former University in Belgium. What is less well known is that she harbours a desire to be a TV celebrity and not content with her Sky Sports News feature (which profiled women in sport last year) she has now gone on to appear in a special edition of the BBC’s Mastermind programme recorded over two days in Manchester during March.
This special Championship football orientated edition of the show retained the rather intimidating format. Thus, John Humphrys was the host and the infamous ‘approaching menace’ music accompanied the start of the proceedings.
The twist was that the four invited guests had to answer specialist subject questions on their own club followed by a general knowledge round but where these questions were still all of a footballing nature.
The four ‘celebrity’ contestants were: Assem Allam, owner of Hull City, Massimo Cellino, the owner of Leeds United, Pete Winkleman, the owner of MKD Dons and our very own Katrien Meire the CEO of Charlton Athletic who the was last to be called to the chair. In the earlier rounds Cellino top-scored with 17 points, Allam got 12 points and Winkleman only 2 points (mainly because he refused to answer any questions which included the word Wimbledon). Want to know how our CEO got on? Well here goes.
John Humphrys: I will now call to the chair Mademoiselle Katrien Meire the CEO of Charlton Athletic in South East London. The Club currently sit in the bottom three of the English Championship division* but she assures me that the word relegation for her has the meaning of ‘opportunity’. Katrien Meire was a lawyer in her native Belgium and she describes herself as a people-person always willing to engage, listen and learn from others. She tells me she has endeared herself with the Charlton fans by bringing in a sofa to the ground and next season I hear it’s going to be a personalised cushion for the Season Ticket Holder.
(*note: this was recorded in March 2016).
Lights dim. Spotlight on Meire………..
John Humphrys: Mlle. Meire, for your specialist subject you will be answering questions on the history and players of Charlton Athletic - and your time begins now.
In what year was Charlton Athletic Football Club formed?
Katrien Meire: I don’t care.
JH: I’m sorry but I must press you for an answer or you may say ‘pass’.
KM: Pass.
JH: Whom did Charlton Athletic defeat in their first professional game at The Valley?
KM: I don’t care.
JH: I’m sorry but once again I must press you for an answer or you may say ‘pass’.
KM: Pass.
JH: What was Charlton’s highest post-War League finish and who was manager at the
time?
KM: I don’t ca………….Pass.
JH: Charlton Athletic returned to The Valley on the 5th December 1992. At which ground
had they played home games earlier that season prior to returning?
KM: Ahh. I happen to know this from Richard Murray. It was the Crystal Palace
ground………is it called Celtic Park?
JH: Incorrect. From 18th August1991 to 14th November 1992 Charlton played their home
games at the Boleyn Ground, Upton Park – West Ham United.
JH: In which year did Charlton Athletic win the FA Cup?
KM: Oh, I don’t know……….2004.
JH: Incorrect, the answer is 1947.
JH: In 1998 Charlton took part in one of the greatest games seen at Wembley. Who scored
a hat-trick that day?
KM: Hurst was it? Geoff Hurst.
JH: Incorrect. It was Clive Mendonca.
JH: At the front entrance to the Club there is the statue of which famous player?
KM: Bertrand?
JH: I’m sorry, I can’t accept that. The answer is Sam Bartram.
JH: Which former player at the club later returned as manager in 2011?
KM: Was it Alan Par….ummm Par… Par…..Partridge? Alan Partridge.
JH: I’m sorry, it was Chris Powell.
JH: What proposa…….
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JH: I’ve started so I’ll finish and you may answer the question. What proposal from an outside ‘investor’ was put to the Charlton owner Roland Duchâtelet in August 2015?
KM: A new billboard?
JH: Incorrect, I would accept either potential buy-out or major investment into the Club.
JH: Katrien Meire, on your specialist subject, the history and players of Charlton Athletic,
you have scored no points. Unlucky! You passed on three: Charlton were formed in
1905, their first professional victory at The Valley was a 3-1 defeat of Southern League Brighton and Hove Albion in September 1920 and they finished 5th in the the old 1st Division in 1953 under manager Jimmy Seed. Please remain in your seat for the general knowledge of football round where your time begins now.
JH: In football, the pitch is what?
KM: Selling an idea to stakeholders or to our customers.
JH: Incorrect. The pitch is the surface on which the game is played.
JH: Many professional football clubs coach players from a young age. By what name are
those players normally known?
KM: Profit margins?
JH: Incorrect. They are generally known as Academy Players.
JH: What is the average lifespan in office of a Championship manager?
KM: Well, I think it used to be measured in years but thanks to me I think it’s now under
5 months…ha, ha ….err
JH: I must accept the first answer you give………...
KM: Thinks out loud: Let’s see Karel was 3 months, Guy was 10, Bob was 9, does Jose
count twice? He was 3 months first time…………..
KM: 4 months seems to be about right, it is for us anyway, 4 months.
JH: I’m sorry, you’ve gone too low – it’s 11 months in the Championship but yes you have the correct figure for your club which is currently 4 months over a 2 year period.
JH: In a match, when the ball is passed from one player to another this is known as a what?
KM: Pass.
JH: Correct and that brings us to the end of the contest where, Katrien Meire you have
scored a total of 1 point.
A board is raised reading: Applaud now!
JH: Katrien, my producer informs me that Massimo Cellino has left the building as his points total of 17 was an unlucky number for him and I gather that Mr Allam has been taken to hospital after having been mauled by a tiger borrowed from Manchester Zoo and smuggled onto the programme as a publicity stunt whilst Pete Winkelman has been kidnapped by fans dressed as Wombles.
Therefore, Katrien Meire, I declare you the winner of this special edition of Championship Footballing Mastermind and here to present your prize, and we know it will be a big surprise to you as you have seen him only once in the past year, is your boss at Charlton Athletic, flown over from Belgium especially for this event but only able to get here in time for the presentation – Roland Duchâtelet.
A board is raised reading: Applaud now!
Roland
Huh, forsure, I knew already Katie would win. Huh, doesn’t she always? Ha, Ha, Ha. As we say in Belgium Een blind man schiet somtijds wel een kraai (Even a blind man will sometimes shoot a Crow).
Katrien, I am awarding you now this trophy which is half-size replica of the winners’ cup in England Championship. Huh, maybe we put in our cabinet at The Valley and tell the Premiership boys we won the League – funny Yes? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha. Ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha. Ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha. Ha, ha.
JH: Mlle. Meire, in addition to the trophy you win a season-ticket to a Championship Club of your choice.
A board is raised reading: Applaud now!
KM: Thank you Jonnnn, Thank you Rollon. I give the season ticket to you Rollon so you can see a Championship team when you are next in London – so sorry - but it will not be Charlton…..ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
They both laugh.
Comments
This was a Lone Gunman special written some weeks ago and destined for VOTV but now unable to appear there.
Intended to discredit KM further in a comic fashion in the eyes of the fans it is incredible that reality has overtaken fiction and Meire has gone way beyond any jokey invented faux pas and has perpetrated the ultimate insult by going on holiday at this time and now surely cannot in all seriousness return to the club.
time?
KM: I don’t ca………….Pass.
"they finished 7th in the Premiership in 2004 under manager Alan Curbishley"
Mastermind need to sack their researchers : - )
yes. Mastermind have issued an apology unlike KM
The e-mail apology is being cut and pasted together today and will appear some time next week.
Hope that helps
The Mastermind viewers relations Team
But can't face bumping into Henry Irving in the North Upper so going in the East for Derby - got dog's abuse from some there v Boro though for blocking their view when I left my seat for the walk-out.
You mean Wendy's gone there too ?