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The CL coffee time discussion - How do you greet your mates?

edited January 2016 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
Was listening to David Mitchell talking about civility on the radio earlier and he was talking about how we greet people we know.
Now we are all sensitive new men in touch with our inner feelings on here so I was wondering how do you greet your mates these days?
Hug?
Arm round the shoulder?
Manly handshake?
Affectionate headbutt?
A mumbled "Alright?"
Or as my mum used to say to me - " Morning, wanker."
The thing is, it has got quite tricky in the last few years, I shake hands with some of my mates, hug a couple, and my best mate I normally give him a pat on the back. The worst one is a mate started hugging me every time we met the few times each year, then the bastard looked at me in shock the last time when I had already committed to moving in to give him the "hug" to demonstrate I could do this new thing too. Awkward. Maybe he just wanted to shower on his own, who knows ;-).
Anyway, I have decided to start asking people what they do, so feel free anyone to share your views and experiences, which will only ever be used for the purposes of blackmail :-)
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Comments

  • With most of my mates I would say it is the new style of handshake that the footballers have started doing before games.

    I don't actually agree that they should do this handshake though! It's a bit informal and although it is pretty inconsequential it should be a proper handshake before a game IMO, but what do I know?
  • Yeah usually a mumbled hello...

    Although when I go round my mates flat I usually press the buzzer until he opens the door so he usually answers by telling me the f**k off
  • Friends I see all the time and acquaintances a handshake, those that are closer friends but I don't see often (which is quite common living so far away) a butch hug... :wink:
  • Butt squeeze

    Can I be your friend?
  • depends on the mate. some would want a quick hug. some did hold on for a bit too long though. most of the time it's a simple alright, possibly followed with a handshake.

    with my best mate to this day I still do the fresh prince handshake though...



  • It might be an age thing for me, but generally I like the handshake. Straightforward, you know where you are. But for a lot of my close friends, we don't bother. It is only recently I have even patted my best mate on his back.
  • Tongues - every time! It does no harm to express the effeminate side of your nature that all fellas possess!! In fact, I would even suggest that suppressing it is actually bad for your health!!!

    Right, who's up for a pre match 'meet and greet' then? ;-)
  • Tongues - every time! It does no harm to express the effeminate side of your nature that all fellas possess!! In fact, I would even suggest that suppressing it is actually bad for your health!!!

    Right, who's up for a pre match 'meet and greet' then? ;-)

    I'd probably need a photo first tbh...;-)

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  • I tend to reciprocate. I wouldn't normally be a hugger, but there's a mate who I know is going to go in for one so I just get on with it. I probably shake hands on most occasions, but, not being the most tactile person, I would be just as happy shouting hello from the other side of the room.
  • The weird arm wrestle grip/hug thing or a standard hand shake.
  • Fondle their nuts
  • edited January 2016
    Uboat said:

    I tend to reciprocate. I wouldn't normally be a hugger, but there's a mate who I know is going to go in for one so I just get on with it. I probably shake hands on most occasions, but, not being the most tactile person, I would be just as happy shouting hello from the other side of the room.

    image
  • Dazzler21 said:

    The weird arm wrestle grip/hug thing or a standard hand shake.

    Good description, well done...

    That is the one I meant.
  • I dont like any of them, so I ignore them........tossers.
  • This sort of thread is maybe why there should be a Winter Break in England.

    The Christmas period means that there is a game nearly every two days so we've constantly got Football to discuss, go back to normal and this happens
  • This sort of thread is maybe why there should be a Winter Break in England.

    The Christmas period means that there is a game nearly every two days so we've constantly got Football to discuss, go back to normal and this happens

    How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood?
  • A barely perceptable nod of the head.
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  • I am a hand shaker. It's been told to me before that I love a handshake but I think it's a respectful gesture to someone you've not met before and a nice touch of acknowledgement to an existing comrade.

    I don't advocate the arm-wrestle shake. I prefer the old school firm grip meeting open palms.

    2 things I don't like about this though. Those who grip and squeeze your fingers before palms have touched giving the impression of a limp fish handshake from me and a false impression of dominance and power from the opposite shaker.

    And an actual fanny, limp, weak, drippy gripped handshake.

    No problem with genuine palm to palm crushing handshakes, they make the world go round

    Or if I'm meeting @DaveMehmet it's a quick ball squeeze and a kiss on both cheeks
  • I stand perfectly still until the other person does something. If they want a handshake they can have a handshake. If they want a hug I guess we're doing that. If they want to do that weird half a handshake into a one armed hug thing we're probably going to bump heads but I'll try. If they don't make the first move then fine, I guess we're standing awkwardly forever. I've been burned too many times going for a handshake and getting my arm pinned against me in a forced hug, I'm not risking it anymore.
  • Arm wrestling chest bumps all round for me, unless I don't know you that well in that case it's a nod and an "alright mate"

    Many of my best mates are women so they get a hug, a peck on the cheek and sometimes even a cheeky pat on the bum.
  • If the NHS were to issue guidelines on this I think the fist bump would win out.

    Its quick, clean and easy. No clasping of dirty hands, hugging of soiled, germ ridden clothing or exchanging of bodily fluids involved. The handshake, hug and kiss have had their day.
  • Hug and hold for 4-5 seconds to maintain dominance
  • Strong, firm handshake with the whole of the hand, not the odd "finger grab". And the modern man hug is simply ridiculous, in my last days in the City, some of the younger brokers would hug each other every bloody day! I refuse to get involved.
  • Yo Bro how's it hanging ma man..................................
  • edited January 2016
    Riviera said:

    Strong, firm handshake with the whole of the hand, not the odd "finger grab". And the modern man hug is simply ridiculous, in my last days in the City, some of the younger brokers would hug each other every bloody day! I refuse to get involved.

    Even though I am not a "hugger" either by nature or instinct I know what to do when I next visit the Long Pond:-)
  • I have a friend who shakes hands in a fairly normal way but with his left hand he grabs my upper right arm firmly to restrict the handshake. Once the handshake is "frozen", he then moves briefly to my right shoulder. I never know how to respond to this.
  • Uboat said:

    I tend to reciprocate. I wouldn't normally be a hugger, but there's a mate who I know is going to go in for one so I just get on with it. I probably shake hands on most occasions, but, not being the most tactile person, I would be just as happy shouting hello from the other side of the room.

    image
    Jonjo coming home as well blimey this is a blinding transfer window
    Makienok doesn't seem all that pleased to meet him.
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