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A Seasonal Tale - Bruge ( A Christmas Karel)

edited December 2015 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
Hope this brings a smile to someone:

Bruge ( a Christmas Karel)
( with a little help from C Dickens)

Scene 1
Roland Bruge is in a meeting about crowd attendance figures

RB: So we're getting 1500 carbon based entities attending home matches are we? That's completely unacceptable! You told me we would have the infestation down into double figures by Christmas!
KF: Well, I've got the team playing as shit as I can, boss, but there's a bastard hardcore of support that just won't shift!
RB: Have you tried erasing their hard drives and rewriting their software?
KM: Er........
RB: Well?
KM: Great idea!

Suddenly a small figure appears in red.

RB: Who is that little turd and why is he dressed like that!

KF: That's the Charlton kit,boss.

Figure in Red: I am Captain Kinsella, the ghost of Charlton Past!

( Roland Bruge is transported back to Charlton v Man City it's 4-0)

RB: What are all those idiots doing on the grass based showcase area?

CK: They're playing competitive football, Mr. Bruge.

RB: And why are all these carbon based entities here? And why are they shouting?

CK: They're cheering and they're happy because it is their team they are doing well and they feel part of something, part of that success. It feels like it is their club. They will all be back next week for more. Win or lose.

(The scene changes. It is now the Valley in 15 years on. It is a wilderness, with tumbleweed)

RB: What's this? Where's it all gone?

CK: I'm afraid you f***ed it all up. This is Charlton Future.

RB: What? Didn't I sell this place off for development?

CK: Nope. It was blocked after you put plutonium in The Keith Peacock Lounge to get rid of the last few supporters.

RB: What !! The carbon based entities stopped me from building up the greatest Academy the Conference League has ever known!

CK: They're people, Bruge, not carbon based entities, they have these things called feelings. And they were here supporting this club and keeping it alive, before you were even a test run run on a circuit board.

RB: Oh, I see......

( It now come back to Charlton Present)

CK: So, Mr Roland Bruge, have you seen the error of your ways, have you realised your plan for Charlton is not the way forward?

RB: Have I f***! I have had another great idea. Let's divert the Thames a bit and turn the Valley into a harbour! Everyone has a yacht these days!

KM : Great idea!

The End. Literally.
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Roland Out Forever!