Izabel Laxamana

Chizz

RIP

You know when you open a thread on CL that is just a name, you often wonder whether it's going to be about something scandalous or about a death. This time, sadly, it's both.

Izabel Laxamana was a teenager, living in Tacoma, Washingston State. In her thirteen years, there appears to have been nothing particularly dramatic about her life. Until her father, Jeff, posted a fifteen second video on YouTube.

He had videoed her, sitting in a chair, looking very sorry for herself, with very short hair. He recorded their conversation, which went:

The consequences of getting messed up, man, you lost all that beautiful hair. Was it worth it?

No

How many times did I warn you?

A lot

The camera pans down to the floor, to show piles of freshly-cut hair.

There is no detail on the video to explain what she might have done to "deserve" a punishment like having her hair cut off; and to have that punishment exacerbated by being shared on YouTube. Days later, Izabel Laxamana took her own life.

Jeff Laxamana was right: there are consequences to actions. If only he had heeded that lesson sooner.

The original video has been taken down from YouTube. But Mr Laxamana hasn't stopped using the internet completely. A "GoFundMe" account has been set up, asking for money to cover expenses related to the death.

cfgs

Horrible

ShootersHillGuru

I can't find words quite honestly.

dancafc

ShootersHillGuru said:

I can't find words quite honestly.

I can as a father to 4 kids he's a fucking scumbag

Exiled_Addick

There seems to be a growing trend for parents using the Internet to shame their kids as a punishment for things. Humiliation as punishment is the kind of dehumanisin tactic totalitarian regimes use and has no place in any parenting manual, but this added step of taking it online to go 'viral' is a new level of awful.

creepyaddick

I wish I'd never opened this thread now, rip young lady

kentaddick

Don't understand people that constantly put up pics and videos of their children on Facebook. Me and the missus have agreed if and when we have kids we won't put them up on Facebook until they're old enough to use it themselves - which I wouldn't say until they're 12-13 at the very earliest.

Kap10

kentaddick said:

Don't understand people that constantly put up pics and videos of their children on Facebook. Me and the missus have agreed if and when we have kids we won't put them up on Facebook until they're old enough to use it themselves - which I wouldn't say until they're 12-13 at the very earliest.

I can easily understand it, I don't understand those that never check their security settings and share personal stuff with the world

Exiled_Addick

kentaddick said:

Don't understand people that constantly put up pics and videos of their children on Facebook. Me and the missus have agreed if and when we have kids we won't put them up on Facebook until they're old enough to use it themselves - which I wouldn't say until they're 12-13 at the very earliest.

Genuinely interested to know what you think the harm in it is?

golfaddick

Not saying that its a good thing that she is dead, but apart from putting the video up on youtube I cant see that the father did much wrong. He had a problem child & he did what he thought was best at controlling her. Some parents might have grounded her, some may have smacked her, other may have done nothing. parenting doesn't come with a manual or guide book - you just have to do what you think is right.

I once washed my sons mouth out with soap after he started swearing (using the f word at age 5!!) - he & his siblings never forget this & I've never heard him swear since. I'm not one to use youtube but if I had posted a video of that & he then went on to do something silly, is it really all my fault.............

nth_london_addick

Golfie

You can not honestly be saying that a father cutting the hair from his daughters head is an acceptable form of punishment, no matter what this child done,

It's not right that a parent uses this or any style physical abuse ,

To then humiliate her on the Internet is worse than what he originally done

I.hope the poor child is now in peace after living with such an animal and I hope that someone gets this scum and tortures him until he doesn't breath again

AFKABartram

Bit too heavy for here to be honest

T_C_E

Surely using your status as a parent to humiliate is bullying?
I got made to smoke a cigar after getting caught smoking at 7! Achieved nothing I still went on to smoke....... If you or my Grandfather did something like that these days I'm sure it would involve the respective authorities...... As for who's fault it is when someone commits suicide, lots of parties should take a look at theirselves when someone so young deems the only solution is to end their life.

JiMMy 85

golfaddick said:

Not saying that its a good thing that she is dead, but apart from putting the video up on youtube I cant see that the father did much wrong. He had a problem child & he did what he thought was best at controlling her. Some parents might have grounded her, some may have smacked her, other may have done nothing. parenting doesn't come with a manual or guide book - you just have to do what you think is right.

I once washed my sons mouth out with soap after he started swearing (using the f word at age 5!!) - he & his siblings never forget this & I've never heard him swear since. I'm not one to use youtube but if I had posted a video of that & he then went on to do something silly, is it really all my fault.............

Next time you start a sentence with "I'm not saying it's a good thing she's dead.." I would recommend stopping right there and closing the window.

kentaddick

Exiled_Addick said:

kentaddick said:

Don't understand people that constantly put up pics and videos of their children on Facebook. Me and the missus have agreed if and when we have kids we won't put them up on Facebook until they're old enough to use it themselves - which I wouldn't say until they're 12-13 at the very earliest.

Genuinely interested to know what you think the harm in it is?

just find it uncomfortable that you're putting stuff online, pictures and videos etc without the consent of the child. Who knows who's viewing your photos (even if you do have your privacy settings set). You're creating an online persona for your child before they've even learnt how to be a person. I'm comfortable with the risk and responsibilities i must have if i want to post stuff online, assuming a small child is as comfortable is a bit odd. I don't judge those that do do it, and there are a lot (which is also really irritating) i just think the risks outweigh the narcissistic thrill of posting your kids online. If you wanna share pictures with family members, there's always email.

JiMMy 85

kentaddick said:

Exiled_Addick said:

kentaddick said:

Don't understand people that constantly put up pics and videos of their children on Facebook. Me and the missus have agreed if and when we have kids we won't put them up on Facebook until they're old enough to use it themselves - which I wouldn't say until they're 12-13 at the very earliest.

Genuinely interested to know what you think the harm in it is?

just find it uncomfortable that you're putting stuff online, pictures and videos etc without the consent of the child. Who knows who's viewing your photos (even if you do have your privacy settings set). You're creating an online persona for your child before they've even learnt how to be a person. I'm comfortable with the risk and responsibilities i must have if i want to post stuff online, assuming a small child is as comfortable is a bit odd. I don't judge those that do do it, and there are a lot (which is also really irritating) i just think the risks outweigh the narcissistic thrill of posting your kids online. If you wanna share pictures with family members, there's always email.

I agree with this. We all joined the interwebs long after we had grown up, but imagine if every stage of your life was documented in public rather than stored in a drawer in your parents' garage. That's quite a big difference. But then again, it depends on what your privacy fear is; even if you restrict the sharing to email, that's not even close to private.

Exiled_Addick

golfaddick said:

Not saying that its a good thing that she is dead, but apart from putting the video up on youtube I cant see that the father did much wrong. He had a problem child & he did what he thought was best at controlling her. Some parents might have grounded her, some may have smacked her, other may have done nothing. parenting doesn't come with a manual or guide book - you just have to do what you think is right.

I once washed my sons mouth out with soap after he started swearing (using the f word at age 5!!) - he & his siblings never forget this & I've never heard him swear since. I'm not one to use youtube but if I had posted a video of that & he then went on to do something silly, is it really all my fault.............

Well, personally I would never even do that, but washing out a kid's mouth with soap is not the same thing as changing their appearance in an embarrassing way and then sending them out into the work to be humiliated - do you not remember how horrendous school can be if you are singled out as the kid that is 'different'? Then add to that the fact you are 13 and probably emotionally messed up from puberty. And then add to it that your Dad of all people, i.e. one of the two people in your life who are always supposed to be looking out for you, is the one who put you in that position. How do you think that would make you feel?

I don't suppose for a second the guy intended it to end this way, but whatever she did that was not the way to handle it.

The gofundme things stinks of a bit of a lack of remorse, but it's hard to judge as there are some mighty poor folk in the US and not a lot of social supports.

LargeAddick

I'm glad I don't Facebook or Twatter. An interesting article with Frank Lampard in the sub Standard the other week and when asked what advice he'd give to any young pro's at Chelsea he said 'don't get involved in social media'. This guy may have been disciplining his child but to then plaster it over Facebook and humiliate her was irresponsible, cruel and stupid.

RIP Izabel.