As I bestrode The Valley Sward one misty Winter's Morn
I spied a Stranger lurking there, dusty and forlorn
"Did bony Camel bear you hence, guided by a Star
Or came you by more mundane means, perhaps the DLR?"
"I come from strange and distant lands, beyond your Eastern Sea
And charged with a most wondrous Quest, but first - a Cup of Tea"
"Pray tell us then, o trusty Knight, what brings you to our Door
Our Flemish Friend, what can you seek from such as We so poor?"
"Lord Roland is the noblest Knight this World has ever seen
He is the Sultan of Liege, and Myra is his Queen"
"Of him are mighty Legends made, and endless Sagas told
Of Wisdom, Pride and Wealthiness - yes, countless Bags of Gold!"
"Devices were his early Fame, acclaimed in every Land
And then he joined the Elders' Court, a loud and fractious Band"
"Long years they passed but nonetheless he never lacked Ambition
This restless soul searched high and low for one last final Mission"
"But then Ideas began to form, and Plans to be drawn up
He'd be the Patron of the Knights, to help them win the Cup"
"The first he took were modest Lads from his own local 'Hood
No Champions for so many years, but loyal, brave and good"
"The next to come were fiery folk from Sclessin on the Meuse
Rebels they and dauntless he, the conflict ever stirs"
"To follow came the Teutons bold and Magyars once of Fame
Then lastly the Iberians, a Part of this Great Game"
"But mighty though his Empire was, a vital piece it lacked
Thus Roland summoned me to Court, and told me to get packed"
"He said 'The Ciphers large and small show what it is we need
So get thee gone upon the Tide to Castle Jimmy Seed' "
"And so before you here I stand, to offer this great Chance
Your Time has almost run its course - you're reaching the Last Dance!"
"We know that your incumbent Lords are potless and bereft
Their Days are done, their Number's up, it's Time that they both left"
And thus it was the Deal was done, and Roland's Knights took charge
But modest was the Way they worked - they never gave it Large
And best of all their Queen arrived, and dazzled all she met
Lord Roland, for your Queen alone we're ever in your Debt!
Stricken by her potent Charms, Men simply kneel and weep
And each Slave sweetly dreams of her, before he falls asleep
Minstrels, in the years to come, will sing of Deeds they've seen
Of em'rald fields and scarlet Knights, all jousting for their Queen
The chiefest of the knightly band's Sir Robert known as Peeters
He truly is a mighty Oak - he nearly stands two metres
He also comes from Belgium-Land but never say it's Brussels
He is indeed of prouder Stock, and you'll suffer from his Muscles
He's not afraid of any Man, not Birmingham nor Wigan
So if you want to stay intact, just don't give him the Biggun
He commands a motley Bunch, some of them quite new
But nowhere in our League of Knights is there a finer crew
Sir Andre is a Warrior, known to all as Bikey
Just wait until we play Millwall - it's Time to whack a Pikey
Sir Lawrence of the Wilson Clan's a famed and fearless Knight
His Prowess once was questionED, but now he is Allright
Sir Igor wields our sharpest Sword, a hunter through and through
Despite the grievous Wounds he takes, his Heart is pure and true
A Giant of a little Man's Sir Christopher of Solly
Disrespect him at your Risk - he'll make you look a Wally
Another from our Lord's fair Land is in the centre field
Yoni Buyens is his Name and he will NEVER yield
I could go on and celebrate the Name of every Star
But for now I'll say Tot Ziens and leave Things as they are
If you've enjoyed this Ballad rare that is my sole Reward
My Pleasure will be equal that of when the Reds have scored
We are indeed a special Breed, and proud of our great Home
May we please just stay right here and not go near the Dome
And
We're still not beat and life is sweet, we're governed from the Land of Frites
You can text and you can tweet but my word's found upon the street
The foe can cheat and we can bleat but the table sure looks neat
This Rhyme's complete and I'm dead-beat - here's to when again we meet
Right then - where's that bloody medication ....
5
Comments
when you took the pen instead of the tool.
You speak of many knights, who have put the oppo's to fright.
Into the valley of mud, rode Lord Roland and the lady Kat.
Such a shambles, there was nowhere to hang one's hat.
Now the grass is greener, and the audit books are leaner.
Take the addicks to the promised land, and we will strike up the band.
Untold milk and Honey, plus BT and all that sky money.
We are bringing on the youth, even before they have their first tooth.
Red army boys, collect your flags and banners,
We might even beat the spanners.