Andy Delort today announced his retirement from international football.
Delort, 22, represented France at Under-20 level as well as full international beach football level. But has revealed that he no longer intends to play for his country.
"This is due to a number of factors", said he agent, Eric Delort. "He no longer believes he can devote the time required for international duty, now that he is fully engaged with domestic plans".
Eric Delort, the player's father, also added: "Andy is taking time away from the hectic schedule of international football, so that he can make a full and proper commitment to his number one task: spinning out his transfer saga as long as possible. He thinks that the onerous responsibility of being a current former under-20 international would be reduced somewhat if he were merely a former former under-20 international".
When asked exactly what those "domestic plans" were, Monsieur Delort Senior explained: "Andy is currently speaking to every football club in England. He's desperate to play for someone. Anyone. He doesn't care who. Just some team, in England, with a nice mid-priced hotel brand near the ground, so he can take selfies. And lots of rooms for me, his Mum, Jean-Pierre, his masseur and Sebastien, the gopher".
Andy Delort himself was unavailable for comment, but he did text back when we left him a message. "Je just wanna play le football, innit. lol"
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