Fighting Poverty by scoring goals...with Simon Church

JollyRobin

So I've decided that based on the number of goals Simon Church scores next season I will donate a gift to a family living in poverty, I'm hardly a wealthy bloke in fact I'm still a student so the amounts are rather modest based on what I can actually afford, but I thought this would be fun and do some good.

5 goals - I'll buy a share in a farmyard worth £5 (http://www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/oxfam-unwrapped/animal-lovers/share-in-a-farmyard-ou8026ml)
10 goals - I'll buy chickens worth £10 (http://www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/oxfam-unwrapped/animal-lovers/chickens-ou8003ml)
20 goals - I'll buy a goat worth £25 (http://www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/oxfam-unwrapped/animal-lovers/goat-ou8010ml)
25 goals - I'll buy a goat couple worth £50 (http://www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/oxfam-unwrapped/animal-lovers/goat-couple-ou8011ml)

N.B. All League Cup, FA Cup and Championship goals (inc. Play-offs) are included.

You're all witnesses and you have my word on this. I'm not sure what the process of purchasing these things is, but when I do I'll post some proof at the end of season. Feel free to do the same, with Churchy or another player of your choice.

AllLeftFoot

I'm guessing that no one will be seeing any goats...

Edit: nice gesture though!

lordromford

Nice idea - let's all join in.
I'll do the same, but for Nick Pope.

;-)

JollyRobin

AllLeftFoot said:

I'm guessing that no one will be seeing any goats...

Edit: nice gesture though!

I genuinely hope they do, but I'm not holding my breath.

shine166

If church scores 10 goals for us il make £500 worth of paintings to be sold and donated here..

http://www.lsufoundation.co.uk/

If he is part of 10 goals, so assists and actual goals il donate £200 which is enough to put 1 child through school for 12 months. That includes books, clothes and 1 meal week.

MrOneLung

What is the difference between a goat worth £25 and a goat worth £50 ?
(apart from £25 quid)

Is it bigger/older / younger / more milky / more meaty ?

Dizzle

Share in a farmyard it is then

Ben18

MrOneLung said:

What is the difference between a goat worth £25 and a goat worth £50 ?
(apart from £25 quid)

Is it bigger/older / younger / more milky / more meaty ?

"goat couple" Think it just means 2 goats

Plaaayer

Farewell Billy :-(

shine166

Yer, it's 2 goats

Leaburns Daddy

AllLeftFoot said:

I'm guessing that no one will be seeing any goats...

Or chickens!

Atletico Addick

C'mon Churchy

itsmyball

if he scores 25 goals ill buy a farm for them

Dazzler21

I'll match that @JollyRobin.

itsmyball

and ill buy a 100 sheep to go on it .

J BLOCK

MrOneLung said:

What is the difference between a goat worth £25 and a goat worth £50 ?
(apart from £25 quid)

Is it bigger/older / younger / more milky / more meaty ?

Haha, more milky i'd imagine

Covered End

If Simon Church scores 25 goals, for Charlton's first team this season. I'll get a t.... of him on my ....

moutuakilla

Covered End said:

If Simon Church scores 25 goals, for Charlton's first team this season. I'll get a t.... of him on my ....

Are the gaps left for us to input suggestions?

Covered End

If you like :-). I'm just not getting into a Greenie junior situation :-)

Atletico Addick

Covered End said:

If Simon Church scores 25 goals, for Charlton's first team this season. I'll get a test-tube full of him on my ....

Jesus..

Covered End

If Vetokele scores 25 goals. Can Church also claim them under joint enterprise ?

MrOneLung

Ben18 said:

MrOneLung said:

What is the difference between a goat worth £25 and a goat worth £50 ?
(apart from £25 quid)

Is it bigger/older / younger / more milky / more meaty ?

"goat couple" Think it just means 2 goats

makes sense when read properly !

C_A_F_C

If he fails to score at all i'll buy them a Cow's Arse and a Banjo.

Granpa

How about put Simon on the farm, and buy a striker ?

Rob

Great thread this. Made me chuckle. Well done JollyRobin.

rananegra

Brilliant. Livened up a dull afternoon. Locked on to score loads now

rikofold

If he doesn't score any, I'll sponsor the transplant of a goat's leg to replace his spongefoot.

masicat

Told Billy. He's pissing himself..

shine166

rananegra said:

Brilliant. Livened up a dull afternoon. Locked on to score loads now

Hope so ! I'm planning on releasing a grands worth of paintings for my charity in the next few weeks anyway

Gillis

Dazzler21 said:

I'll match that @JollyRobin.

Likewise.

cafcnick1992

If Church scores more than 20 goals I'll donate 200,000 dogecoins to Battersea Dog's home