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New Article:The tale of the Palace shirt.

This is a dark and sinister tale;therefore, anyone of a nervous disposition stop reading now.
My wife is a Beckenham lass and although not keen on football she has a liking for "them". This is on the basis that her three brothers support "them".
Everything was fine until 2004 when Palace reached the final at the Millennium stadium. She announced that her brothers had a spare ticket and they asked her whether she would like to go, to which she said yes.
My son, who was at Beths studying which was the most likely pub in Bexley village to serve students at lunchtime was not amused.
She ( er she's your mother ) does not even like football. She (er she's your mother ) should not be allowed to go until we have been there.
Look son, your mum is spending the day with her brothers and she has not seen them for a while. Off he skulked complaining about bad parenting.
Little did we know the situation was going to get much worse. On that fateful day of 29th May 2004 she boldly marched into the room wearing a Palace shirt.
I said my god how much do you want to humiliate us. Her response was I cannot go without one, I will stand out otherwise.
No son, Social Services will not put you into care so put the phone down. Do not phone the police either as it is not an arrestable offence.
The following day she told us how magnificent the stadium was and how great the atmosphere was like. I said whatever, I am putting on Countryfile.
You don't even like Countryfile.
Whilst you are both thinking about it, you will not find the shirt as I have hidden it and you will never find it. She was right; however, we came to the conclusion that she had given it away to some poor chap doing Community service to show what punishment is really like. Or has it been given away?
Just lately when I have been on my own, I can feel this evil presence watching my every move and their is the cold chill to my neck. I put on the radio as a distraction and " Glad all Over" was playing. My Charlton calender has started to fall to the ground ( by the way for March their is a geezer called Gower on the front).
I was thinking of getting the house exorcised; however, even the local priest is a Palace fan. I know they want to spread the word but why could they not do it on their own patch.
This could have been a script for a Stephen King book. If this house ever becomes vacant beware. You, friends or relatives may move into a house in Bexleyheath and this could be the one. You have all been warned!


  • How do you hold a conversation with her three brothers when they are all called Nigel? Must be a nightmare!
  • Infact, thinking about it, my bird worked at Palarse and it is her local club. My first port of call was to keep taking her to Charlton, job complete and she 'supports' us.. just a shame she only went to games for Yann, lol. Mission accomplished none the less.
  • At least your son isn't a Palace fan, that's always the risk when someone of noble Charlton stock breeds with one of "them" !
  • Ha Ha. Cheers guys. By the way it is Nigel1, Nigel2 and Nigel3!
  • This is a horrible, dark tale. Horrible.
  • edited March 2014
  • edited March 2014
    Ask them to join you in a game of Palarse hangman (I have used it before on here and it always helps out on any subject related to that bunch of stripey shite from Surrey)

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    C T U S N
  • I'm not gonna be able to sleep tonight now, are you sure it's not an offence?
  • So you reckon the shirt is still in the house? Do you have a dog? Check it's kennel/basket.....
  • If I find it you are all we invited to the ritual burning. Flowers will start to grow and the sun will come out.
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  • If it's in a place a bloke shouldn't have to go, you'll find it easily. It's in the kitchen.
  • If it's in a place a bloke shouldn't have to go, you'll find it easily. It's in the kitchen.

    Nah it'll be with the laundry stuff.
  • At least they're not millwall
  • What a sad story......I feel very sorry for you.
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