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Becoming a young dad.

Had a bit of a surprise last week, my girlfriend announced to me she was 3 weeks pregnant and keeping it. Now I am only 19, I still live with Mum and she lives with hers. We both work admittedly I earn alot more than her at the moment, its all a bit of a mind blower really not sure where to start, how much this is going to cost (a hell of alot I am expecting for). Just seeing if anyone else on here had their first child early and how they dealt with it and if they got any support with it?

Advice anyone!?
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Comments

  • Good luck mate, I'm 19 too and would be shitting myself if my mrs got pregnant, hope all goes well
  • edited January 2014
    Congratulations WTR, I had my daughter at 20, it sounds quite dawnting but once there here no matter how hard you find it that one little smile from them melts your heart and takes it all away and worthwhile. I left home at 18 and had my own place and so my situation was a bit different but it's not as hard as you think and apart from the initial out lay at the start, pram, bottles etc the weekly cost is not that great. I would never change my daughter and 4 years later my son or my life for anything else in a million years. My girlfriend who later became my wife had lost both her parents and at the time I never really got on with mine so we never had much support so just learnt together to cope and get on with it, the best way really I think.
  • edited January 2014
    First off, Congratulations!

    How do you feel about it? How does your girlfriend feel about it? Have you spoken to your parents about it?

    Ive got a 1 year old girl and although I'm now 30, i was the most immature 29 year old on the planet. 19 is a young age to be a dad, but, as soon as your child comes into the world you will get a feeling like nothing else. Its like a wave comes over you, and you immediately grow up. You feel like a real man, and instinct kicks in. Ive never held a really young child before and was worried I was going to be too heavy handed…but I wasn't. It was perfect.

    Its expensive, you will get tired and ratty, argue with your girlfriend at times…but one look at your child, something you created, and everything is fine again.

    I ask about your parents because the one thing more important than anything else in my case has been their support. I was living with friends, partying, going out, no savings and then suddenly my girlfriend got pregnant. We moved in with my parents and saved to move out.

    As long as you are responsible, age is just a number. Be prepared for many nights in and being skint, which will be a lot harder for a 19 year old who has mates who are out partying most weekends.

    CL is a great place for advice from people mate, I'm sure you'll be fine!!
  • I had my first when I was 29 (my wife was 30) even though we had been together for 10 years. Almost immediately after she was born we both regretted being so selfish and leaving it so long.

    We both now say how great it would have been to have kids when we were younger.

    Having a baby whilst you’re young will make a man of you! Yes, it is daunting and Yes it will be tough, but the positives outweigh the negatives 1,000 to 1.

    Congratulations, good luck and enjoy your new addition.

  • Good luck mate, I'm 19 too and would be shitting myself if my mrs got pregnant, hope all goes well

    haha would love you to start a thread on here to tell your old man
  • edited January 2014
    http://www.cafc.co.uk/fans/young_addicks/

    And don't forget the most important thing : -)
  • Good luck, as others have said, support from both sets of parents is a god send. I was 40 when we had our daughter. Wish we'd had her earlier (probably not at 19 though!) as we would have had another.
  • I can't give you any advice. I can barely wipe my own arse.

    But congratulations. Best wishes & enjoy.
  • First off, Congratulations!

    How do you feel about it? How does your girlfriend feel about it? Have you spoken to your parents about it?

    Ive got a 1 year old girl and although I'm now 30, i was the most immature 29 year old on the planet. 19 is a young age to be a dad, but, as soon as your child comes into the world you will get a feeling like nothing else. Its like a wave comes over you, and you immediately grow up. You feel like a real man, and instinct kicks in. Ive never held a really young child before and was worried I was going to be too heavy handed…but I wasn't. It was perfect.

    Its expensive, you will get tired and ratty, argue with your girlfriend at times…but one look at your child, something you created, and everything is fine again.

    I ask about your parents because the one thing more important than anything else in my case has been their support. I was living with friends, partying, going out, no savings and then suddenly my girlfriend got pregnant. We moved in with my parents and saved to move out.

    As long as you are responsible, age is just a number. Be prepared for many nights in and being skint, which will be a lot harder for a 19 year old who has mates who are out partying most weekends.

    CL is a great place for advice from people mate, I'm sure you'll be fine!!

    I am over the moon in ways and very nervous as I'm only 19! Girlfriend is also very positive about it and wants to make sure we supportive each other through it all which is good and my parents were actually against the idea of keeping it but are supporting us.

    The plan is for the baby to stay with the girlfriends house until we have enough saved to move out for our own place.

    And I am glad i put it on here, some reassuring advice/comments!
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  • Plan ahead, be prepared for it in respect of finances especially so you don't have the stress of it hitting you upon the first few months as you will have enough on your hands already!

    Having a support structure in place i.e. grandparents willing to help etc is vital so the two of you can share some 'us' time occasionally. Don't forget that that there is still a relationship amongst it all which, especially for her, is so important. It can become so hard if you don't work as a team.

    Rely on your instincts. There will be so many people offering advise but you are the parent, you will know your child best in time. If it doesn't feel natural to begin with, it will come.

    Life will never be the same, sometimes its bloody tough but its still the most amazing thing that will ever happen to you.

  • Wait until you have your 3rd and just turned 40!!

    And then to be told your other half was already over 6 months pregnant!!

    That turned my world upside down that I tell ya but wouldn't change it for the world!

    Just get your nut down and crack on thats all you can do fella you will enjoy it!!
  • edited January 2014
    We had our first when I was 24, I didn't realise it then but he was the best thing that could have happened to me. Don't let it pass you by you can't get those years back. Good luck to you both.

    P.s he's 6 now. ;)
  • Must have been hard during the First World War.
  • Plaaayer said:

    Must have been hard during the First World War.

    I see Doyley's let you out of the bedroom. ;)

  • edited January 2014

    Good luck mate, I'm 19 too and would be shitting myself if my mrs got pregnant, hope all goes well

    haha would love you to start a thread on here to tell your old man
    Would probably be the safest way to do it, from afar, behind a screen, where no shouting can be heard and disappointment can't be recognised
  • When I was young
    I had a son
    CAFC
    The team for me
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  • edited January 2014
    Congrats fella, my daughter had her first child when she was 20 making me a Granddad at 49!!!! We were concerned at the time but it has all worked out and she has a second child now and could not be happier.

    Just one thing concerns me and that is if I am reading the above right your girlfriend and the baby are staying at her house, you did not mention what you are doing?

    If you are not going to be living with them make sure you spend as much time as you can with them and get involved, if all the feeding, changing, crying, rocking to sleep and caring for the baby are done by your girlfriend and her parents (who will now be grand parents) you will soon find yourself out of the loop.

    You want your child to recognise your voice, smell and touch as soon as possible and know that you are the dad so get stuck in and make sure you are around as much as possible.

  • Welcome to the 'skint forever' club.

    However, it is well worth it :)
  • And teach the child nice and early not to shake apple juice when the lid is not on properly. (Sorry AFKA but that did make me laugh this morning)
  • It's going to be a long hard road mate.

    Priorities have to change - simple as that, the time demands and financial pressures can wear you down, but in return you will have someone new on the planet that thinks you are "100% the bees knees" for the rest of their life.

    Good luck.
  • Congratulations. I was 23 when we had my baby boy. Hes now 8 1/2 months. Its hard work, im tired all the time. I dont get to go out and get pissed any more, i work my knackers off at work, despartly trying to get promoted. But i have a roof over my family (unfortunatly rented) and theres alot of things id love to be doing in which i dont have time for anymore. But my son is the most amazing little man, he has changed the way i think and do things. Like others say, their smile melts your heart and after you have had the worst day and they are in a good mood, makes it all better. Just get the necessities as people will support you. You'll be fine. You can start getting working tax and child benefits to help with the costs of what they need. Look into it. All the best!
  • Well the only advice I can give is enjoy the ride!! I was 26 when my first was born partner was 19, it was a bloody struggle I can tell you, whilst my relationship gave out my two Sons 26 and 17 are the best thing in my life by a country mile.
    So the message I offer is that I wish you every success and hope you and your partner are happy for years to come-but should this not happen, never ever lose touch with your Son/Daughter. Good Luck
  • it is the greatest feeling holding that child of yours,
    but there will be times that when the little un is crying it's brains out in the middle of the night and you've done everything you can to try and settle them down that you will be at your wits end and will go mad(der), stay calm and the good times will arrive
  • edited January 2014
    I was a daddy at 20 .. easy to say .. but just get on with it .. the love, devotion and care you give to your child and the young lady don't cost a thing .. if you can't afford anything you feel you MUST have,simply go without .. you'll LOVE it, no worries and all the VERY very best @WilmoreTheRed
  • Mate it's amazing. My boy was born 11 days ago and I don't think I've ever been happier.

    The middle of the night can be tough but NOTHING beats holding him in your arms knowing he's yours. By the morning all is forgiven.

    All the worries you are feeling will disappear as soon as your nipper is born, money and stuff doesn't come into it, you'll do what you've got to do to support your family. You'll be fine

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